Ashlyn Carroll

To all the women out there who desperately want to love themselves for more than just a body….

I see YOU. 

And I am here to tell you that, you are allowed to EAT. Even if…⁠
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… you didn’t exercise.⁠
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… you ate “too much” yesterday or today.⁠
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… you feel like you don’t deserve it.⁠
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… your brain is making up a whole bunch of different reasons why you “shouldn’t” and arent “deserving” of it.
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We — especially women — have grown up in a diet culture that convinces us that we must “earn” our meals, and if we don’t, we don’t get to have them.⁠

👋🏻 BEEN THERE BEFORE
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I call BS 🙅🏼‍♀️

^bologna sandwich of course 😝
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Food is not a reward for doing something. There are no “good” or “bad” foods, and you’re not “good” or “bad” for eating them.⁠
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Food choices are nothing more or less than personal preference, and your self-worth is NOT inherently tied to your choices.⁠
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So I’ll say it again...

You are allowed to EAT the darn food 👏🏻👏🏻.
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Drop a ❤️ if this is what you needed to hear today.

I wish I was told this sooner…

I’ve spent the majority of my life doing everything I could to be wanted.

To feel enough, worthy, considered.

And for the longest time, I thought that in order to be wanted, worthy, and considered…

I had to have all my ducks in a row.

All 👏 The 👏 Time 👏

Because having all my ducks in a row all of the time surely would make me more confident.

And if I was more confident, then I would be seen as worthy, desirable and lovable.

I had it all wrong 😬.

Having my ducks all in a row made me less confident.

Because life doesn’t happen like that.

What happens when sh*t hits the fan and my ducks aren’t in a row?

I am left exposed and unarmed.

And that’s a recipe for zero self-confidence. 🙈

“Let yourself be messy.”

I saw this on an IG post several months back and my whole world flipped upside down.

I realized that maybe self-confidence wasn’t about having all of my ducks in a row after-all…

Maybe it was able being able to fall and get myself back up.

Maybe it was about showing up when things get messy and being there to see the other side.

Maybe it was about letting my ducks wander wherever they want and know that I have the tools to bring them back.

Self-confidence isn’t created in the blissful moments of perfection, but in the messy and mundane moments of authenticity.

So…

Let yourself be a little messy 😘

Dear Little One,

This one’s for you. I got you 😘

Here’s to letting yourself be known.
To fully surrendering.
To welcoming the beautiful unknown.
To witnessing and creating more joy and wonder.

See you on the other side.

I tried something a bit different this week…

Instead of sn*******ng into a ton of negative, hurtful comments about myself and my body…

Instead of pouring on the guilt and shame for not “feeling” in control…

Instead of feeling frustrated for not getting to train as hard as I want right now…

I started to ask myself what I was GAINING from every uncomfortable moment I was experiencing.

What was I LEARNING?

If the thoughts were about my body, I would make a point to list off at least ONE thing that I was proud of my body for. How was my body showing up for me even if I didnt feel like it was?

If the thoughts were about feeling out of control, I made a point to make a list of all the things that I could control like my sleep, my habits, my practices. I focused on these.

If the thoughts were about my training, I made a point to take advantage of the time out of the gym to read, to walk, to journal, to play with Moose.

And above everything else, I reminded myself that this season is temporary.

That my body is here for me.

And that I am doing hard things.

The uncomfortable feelings aren’t always going to go away and ultimately, that is not the goal.

I get to choose how I deal with them.

And so do you.

Its going to seem silly and you might not even believe the things you are saying to counter the negative thoughts…

But I promise if you keep going, those thoughts will feel lighter and you will feel stronger.

You will feel brighter.

Keep going 😘

The “Oh shoot, I dropped my snacks but if I hurry, it doesn’t count,” rule.

I hate to break it to ya, but I am not talking about snacks….TODAY.

I promise you are going to want to remember this one though 😉

Just like the 5 second snack rule, there are going to be instances in your life when you….

Don’t want to do the thing.
Need a minute to breathe.
Want to try something again.
Are feeling all of the feelings.

I bet you know where I am going with this! 

 

Give yourself 5 seconds to SIT before responding. 

5 seconds to feel all of your feelings before going inside to your family or into that work meeting.
5 seconds to procrastinate on the couch before you go workout.
5 seconds to be frustrated when you don’t get something the first time.

When you give yourself 5 seconds to just BE, three things happen: 

You give your feelings and emotions a place in this world, which allows you to detach your identity from them.

You give yourself the opportunity to make a CHOICE as opposed to a DECISION based on your environment. 

You get to show up for YOU.

So, give yourself 5 seconds and then GET ER’ DONE 👊🏼

This might not be the greatest snack rule of all time, but Mel Robbins was onto something without a doubt.

Is this you?

Going back to the same workout routine that you did in high school to “get fit for the summer.”

Eliminating the same food groups because its “worked in the past.”

Taking the same supplements because they gave you that “extra boost.”

Giving the guy that hurt you another chance…or maybe two or three 😬

Only this time, if I had to guess…

Those same tactics didnt work QUITE as good as they did before. Am I right?

This isn’t your fault and I promise you are not alone.

You find yourself staying loyal to what you’ve put a lot of time into, even if it’s not what you want and what is most aligned with your values.

You are more inclined to stick to what you’ve already invested SO much time and energy into, even if its unviable long-term…

And get this, EVEN if there is a better opportunity around the corner, you’re still more likely to choose the latter.

Wanna know why?

In psychology, there is something called the sinking cost fallacy.

This is where the bias that we already have from previous experiences, prevents us from seeing that our..

SHIP IS SINKING ANYWAYS 🚢

And any additional ounce of “effort”, time, money, or resource that you put into it is yet another bit that you lose of yourself.

You cant salvage what was just because you have spent so much time and energy believing in it at one time.

Sometimes, those things that you have given everything to are just not what is best for you.

And that is okay.

It is hard to let go, but I promise its harder not to.

What is something you are letting go of and leaving behind in 2023?

The simplest way to turn your dreams into reality…

Tell the universe what you want, instead of what you don’t. 

Tell the universe what you deserve, instead of what disappoints you. 

Tell the universe the boundaries you’ve set, instead of the ways people have broken them in the past. 

Tell the universe what you want. What you are worthy of. Take the time to affirm your worth and draw a boundary everywhere else. 

Don’t be afraid to use your voice. 

If you were to stop being the first one to reach out, what would happen? 

If you were to stop calling or texting or setting up dates, what would happen? 

If you were to stop fighting for them a moment, what would happen? Simply Put: if you were to stop putting in the effort, what would happen? 

If you were to stop believing in potential for a moment and see what is happening right now, what would happen? 

You take back your power when you realize that you should never find yourself fighting for a TOMORROW with someone who isn’t right for you TODAY. 

This includes who you see when you look in the mirror 😉

Comment below “POWER” if you are ready to take yours back. 🫶🏻

I’ve been asking this a lot lately….

Several of my clients are hitting these walls with things they do everyday.

Hitting the snooze button a few times, not getting movement in, eating less fruits and veggies, etc.

*The cold weather isnt helping 🥶*

Guess what?? ME TOO.

Running into resistance from ALL angles.

Not wanting to get outside for a walk.
“Running” out of time to journal at night.
Skipping more workouts because I am “tired”.
Snagging a few handfuls of cereal here and there.

These all sound a little like self-sabotage and they are to some degree.

But not ALL resistance has to be a bad thing.

I see these different areas of resistance and give myself an opportunity to get curious.

Why am I being resistant?
Why don’t I want to journal?
What am I afraid of?

Whatever the reason, they are VALID and REAL.

But, what I have found is that most of the time, that resistance comes from looking at the BIG end goal and it suddenly feels very overwhelming.

So, if looking at the BIG goal is too overwhelming, why not break it down?

What is the NEXT hardest step you can take?

For example:

Say you want to go to the gym in the evening after getting home from work, but you are dragging.

Ask yourself, “What’s the next hardest step I can take?”

Maybe this is grabbing your gym bag.
Or maybe its putting on your shoes.

WHATEVER it is, just focus on that NEXT thing.

Then ask yourself that same question.

Again and Again.

Until you’ve made it to the end.

Was this helpful?? Let me know what your NEXT hardest step is going to be this week. 👇🏻👇🏻

Your mental health matters ✨

How do you want to show up for yourself today, tomorrow, and everyday that comes?