Hard Knox Roller Derby

10/07/2026

✨🔮 HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MAGICALLY MALICIOUS! 🔮✨
Since joining Hard Knox in 2017, Magically Malicious has practiced her craft until it's become pure derby sorcery. Now an Allstars blocker, she has a knack for appearing exactly where opposing jammers don’t want her and sending their escape plans vanishing into thin air.

When she crosses into the realm of Marble City Mayhem, she transforms into Em0bilizer. Different name, same wicked blocking magic. Her hockey stops are so sharp and dazzling, we’re convinced a spell is involved.

Of course, that kind of power doesn’t come from waving a wand. We can’t think of anyone who puts more time into practice than she does. She conjures every skill, step, and hit through countless hours of hard work.

Help us wish the marvelous, magnificent Magically Malicious a happy birthday!

09/25/2026

Signups close Sunday! We can't wait to see everyone next week!

Ready to give roller derby a try?

Our next Skater Readiness Program starts September 27! This 8-week program is designed for skaters with basic roller skating skills who are ready to learn the fundamentals of roller derby.

No derby experience? No problem. You'll learn in a supportive, welcoming environment alongside other new skaters, and have a lot of fun along the way.

🛼 Sundays: 11 a.m.–2 p.m.
🛼 Wednesdays: 6–9 p.m.
📅 Sept. 27-Nov. 22

Register today: https://www.zeffy.com/en-US/ticketing/hkrd-fresh-meat-skater-readiness-program

You will need quad skates with adjustable toe stops, knee pads, elbow pads, wristguards and a helmet. Check Marketplace for deals or DM us for discount codes to a couple online shops.

09/25/2026

🌪️ HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JERSEY CYCLONE! 🌪️
Jersey Cyclone first blew into Hard Knox through our new skater initiation program in spring 2022, then tore up the track during her rookie season in 2023.

An unfortunate leg injury may have sidelined her in mid-2025, but it couldn’t stop this force of nature. Jersey has been weathering the long road back with incredible strength, making her one of the toughest people we know.

Even off skates, Jersey remains in the eye of the storm. She shows up to countless practices in her street feet, helping to ref, run drills, and do whatever she can to keep her teammates moving forward. That’s what a true team player looks like.

The forecast calls for team spirit, determination, and a 100% chance of birthday chaos. Help us send a whirlwind of birthday love to the one and only Jersey Cyclone! 🖤🌪️💚

09/22/2026

The Brawlers had a blast at our very last bout of the season! Check out the photo recap 🔥

09/12/2026

Open gender bout!

09/12/2026

09/12/2026

Shenanigans bout!

09/12/2026

Crystal Lake vs. Elm Street

09/11/2026

Our first-ever Shenanigans Bout is coming, and we’re taking inspiration from the wonderfully unhinged world of slasher movies. 🔪

Here’s how it works: you donate, you pick the punishment, and we bring the chaos.

Want everyone skating backward? Done.
Want the pack screaming through the entire jam? Absolutely.
Want to unleash an extra blocker or make everyone do the Thriller dance? Sure!

Every shenanigan is $10, and every donation fuels the fun while supporting Hard Knox Roller Derby. Your support helps keep us practicing, geared up and traveling to play the sport we love.

So, who’s causing the first shenanigan?