Coach K Career Services

Since publishing my first book last summer, the #1 question I have been is:

“How did I develop so much confidence, or how did I find the courage?”

I love all variations of this question because I’ve never thought of myself as fearless. Quite the opposite, actually.

As a teen, I was afraid of everything; so much so fear was paralyzing in moments.

Yet, as early as childhood, I remember making the decision not to let fear stop me, but rather to make a conscious effort to face my fears.

What developed over my lifetime is an arsenal of tools for breathing through fear into action — a practice I believe that benefits us all in many ways.

My top reasons why facing your fears is so important:

1. Facing our fears is how we grow.

2. Fear surfaces when we’re emotionally invested in something, which is so important.

Would you rather live going through the motions, passing time on things you don’t genuinely care about, or would you rather practice facing your fears to focus on the things you deeply care about?

One path leads to a lack of fulfillment, the other is rich and juicy with life experiences full of passion and fulfillment. (You know my vote.)

3. The more you face your fears, the more you develop the neuroplasticity (brain power) and inner fortitude for doing so in the future.

You strengthen your inner confidence and trust yourself to stand in the face of discomfort (ie fear) to take action.

Today, I relish the moments fear surfaces because I now recognize fear, or nerves as an indicator I’m up to things in my life that really matter to me.

I encourage everyone to take a look at their relationship to fear and start to bring awareness to who you are in the face of fear.

Not sure how.

Ask yourself: what would I do if I knew I couldn’t fail and start to think about how you could lean into that fear.

Looking for a little support? Send me a message I love supporting people in pushing through their fears.

It’s a Friday, Vegas, I’m not “supposed,” to be working thing.

10 pics for 10 years

1. First trip to Cabo
2. First time taking you rappelling in Zion
3. First visit to Jazz Cabaret at the Smith Center
4. First NYE in Maui with the Fam
5. First Trip to London
6. And Paris
7. First pup, Kona making us a no longer a couple, but a family
8. Adopting Kaimana
9. The start of our Thanksgiving hike tradition as a family of five
10. First night I realized you were right and Happy wasn’t going anywhere.

We may have traded in our jet setting days for puppy snuggles, backyard bbqs, and aces games, but I would trade this life we’ve built for anything.

🥂 to many more adventures to come.

Happy anniversary

Signs are everywhere, when you remember to look.

Liberate your spirit.

Saturday morning birthday fun.

When one of us a risk taker and removes 3 blocks from the bottom 2 rows as her move. (🙋‍♀️)

And the other is more conservative, mumbles, "High blood, you." (🤦🏾‍♀️)

Opening night.

Wise words from a woman well ahead of her time.

Maybe it’s a good time to revisit the power of your dreams.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond all measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?'

Actually, who are you not to be?

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of the universe that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles"

Getting our run on!

Visions of leadership idealists/ idols flashed through my mind: Simon Sinek, Brene Brown, Sir Ken Robison.

I couldn’t reconcile their teachings of authenticity and brave leadership with the warning I had just received, not to tell a soul about my past as an adult entertainer, or risk ruining my 20+year corporate career.

Fear won in that moment. I shoved the printed manuscript in my sock draw and walked away.

The next day, I got a notice on Facebook I won free tickets to a Simon Sinek talk.

Jannet and I flew to San Jose to attend. Our tickets included a 15 minute meet & greet with Simon himself. (Total fan girl moment.)

Mentally, I had locked my book dreams away, but our conversation moved into passions, without thinking, I said, “Writing. My dream is to publish my story to help others.”

90 minutes of incredible conversation later, Simon placed both hands on my shoulders, stepped in close and said, “Never stop chasing your dream. Publish you book. I personally know people who need your message. Come to dinner with me and my team after. I’d like to keep talking.”

To this day, I am grateful for that universal wink to keep going.

Always remember, it’s not the critics and the naysayers who count.

The only permission you need to follow your dreams is your own.

Along the journey of following your dreams you will face doubts, obstacles, and your deepest fears.

You will also encounter signposts. Indicators you are on the right path; indicators that come in many different forms.. if you are open to seeing them.

This was one of mine.

Six years ago, I was 3 complete drafts and $15k invested in my author dreams. I’d attended workshops and conferences, agent pitch events, and made all the aspiring author investments.

Author Website - ✔️
Full manuscript written - ✔️
Book proposal & chapter summaries ✔️✔️

I had hired book coaches, editors, content readers, beta readers, and even held a small focus group to understand my potential readership. ✔️✔️✔️✔️

And then, I confided my story in a corp executive I admired. A woman I trusted implicitly. Some who, held a c-level diversity role.

When she said, “Oh, no, dear. You can never publish your story. It will ruin your career,” I allowed her words to crush me, instantly.

Continued in comments.

Along the journey of following your dreams you will face doubts, obstacles, and your deepest fears.

You will also encounter signposts. Indicators you are on the right path; indicators that come in many different forms.. if you are open to seeing them.

This was one of mine.

Six years ago, I was 3 complete drafts and $15k invested in my author dreams. I’d attended workshops and conferences, agent pitch events, and made all the aspiring author investments.

Author Website - ✔️
Full manuscript written - ✔️
Book proposal & chapter summaries ✔️✔️

I had hired book coaches, editors, content readers, beta readers, and even held a small focus group to understand my potential readership. ✔️✔️✔️✔️

And then, I confided my story in a corp executive I admired. A woman I trusted implicitly. Some who, held a c-level diversity role.

When she said, “Oh, no, dear. You can never publish your story. It will ruin your career,” I allowed her words to crush me, instantly.

Continued in comments.

Grateful for 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 book reviews on Amazon (and Goodreads). 🙏🙏🙏 I treasure each and every one. Truly. ❤️

If you’ve already picked up you’re copy of Dealmaker, my first memoir (now selling on Amazon,) thank you so much.

I’d love for you to pop onto your Amazon app and post a quick review. (The algorithm gods place a lot of emphasis on reviews. 😉)

Haven’t picked up a copy, or checked it out from the Kindle library, whatcha waiting for?! 🤣