Merkin vs. Muff Dodgeball

There's a bounty that needs to be collected tonight...

Merkin invades the all-Asian Bird Canan Flu tonight. Sound the alarms.

Nothing but Merkin Love for the playoffs tonight.

Congrats to the Merkin family (new & old) that dominated the Open Foam division in Vegas this past weekend: Nate, James & Terry + Acomb, Tillmans & Naor. Awesome stuff.

Standings | Summer 2011

Regular season champs, with a 7-0 record. Playoffs start this week. Fear the Merkin. Respect the M**f.

Standings | Summer 2011 Melrose Advanced League, World Dodgeball Society

9pm battle with REIGNBALLS DODGEBALL FORCE tonight. Two teams enter 6-0 ... only one will walk out with the regular season crown.

8pm battle with What Would Jesus Dodge tonight at Poinsettia Rec. I wonder if Jesus wore a merkin or if he favored the m**f? Thoughts?

After several seasons of hibernation, the sleeping giant awakens to take on the best the LA Dodgeball Society has to offer. Fear the Merkin. Respect the M**f.

The Merkin vs M**f dodgeball dynasty makes it return to Melrose Advanced league this upcoming season after a 2 season hiatus. Break out your p***c combs -- s**t is gonna get hairy.

Big time championship victory for the Merkin empire last night over Sissy Girl Cry Party in a hard fought match. Great season everyone.

Tight Pants Cause Lowered S***m Count

This just in, wearing tights reduces your s***m count! In related news... Merkin vs. M**f takes on Tight Supremacists in tonight's Semi-Final dodgeball match-up.

Tight Pants Cause Lowered S***m Count For about one-half of couples with fertility problems, experts say low s***m count is the cause. But maybe something as simple as changing the kind of underwear a man wears can make a difference.

Merkin OG, Daniel Touchette, was spotted reppin' his Merkin pride over in Seoul, South Korea. As you can tell from boyish good looks and novelty sized cup of alcohol, things are going well across the Pacific.

New season kicks off at 9pm tomorrow night with the Melrose -A- League Jamboree. Meet the team.

War Geaux loaded up on the protein and carbs during lunch for tonight's playoff showdown.

"Seem like every time I go tanning... we win." - Ryan DeCarlo, Merkin's Jersey Shore ambassador.

Carstache™ | Glorious mustaches for cars and trucks

Carstache, the official sponsor of Merkin Dodgeball is now online and open for business. Don't let your car be naked any longer. Share with your friends.

Carstache™ | Glorious mustaches for cars and trucks A Carstache™ is a powerful mustache that attaches to your car grille. It is stunning. What color 'stache will you rock?

I wore my dodgeball shoes to work today so everytime I look down at my feet I am reminded of the pain I am going to inflict on the opponent and the glory I will be rewarded with. -Christopher War Geaux

Playoffs begin tonight with a 9pm match-up versus Big In Japan.

Valiant fight vs Sissy Girl Cry Party tonight in a 4-3 loss. Lifetime record 25-1... even Michael Jordon lost a few. We'll see you guys in the championship!

Craig and Noah model the latest in Merkin dodgeball beach attire.

Another Wednesday night, another Merkin victory. Our curly M**fs go out to the Tight Supremacists for a hard fought 3-1 battle.

3 Traitors Down... Next up: Benny Toth and Christina Wu. Fear the Merkin. Respect the M**f.

The Merkin mafia doesn't take kindly to traitors. Erik Charles Tillmans & Molly Piskun... we're coming for you tonight.

8pm game tonight vs Zankou Chicken Nuggets. Bring the pain.

In response to Vince Marchbanks' slanderous photo against the beloved Merkin, we give to you this M**f'd rendition.

You can see Vince's original artwork here: http://tinyurl.com/yf9tk5e

Chiara Triska would like everyone to know that when not making obscene gestures on the dodgeball court, she is a highly professional and respectable lady. That is all.

Team photo after last night's 6-2 victory. It's hard being beautiful AND talented but somehow we make it work.

Lady Merkins: Chiara Triska, Nicole Chasin, Dylann Tharp, Jenna Duncalf, & Jeana Alayaay... remember, cornrows are the encouraged hairstyle for upcoming games. Represent accordingly.

Game at 9pm tonight. Team photo to be taken: Look sexy.

Melrose A League - Standings and Schedule

Standings are updated from last night's games. And they've got a spiffy, cleaner look-and-feel thanks to some Merkin web-nerdery.

Melrose A League - Standings and Schedule Updated scores, standings and schedules for the Spring 2010 season.

The Merkin Army doesn't take kindly to traitors. Scott Connor ... we're coming for you tonight.

First match of the 2010 Spring season. Defending champions Merkin vs M**f against Big in Japan.

Final score, 11-0 in favor of the volatile p***c wig.

West Hollywood undefeated championship team photo: Merkin vs M**f.

Undefeated regular season + Championship tonight. Great job Merkin vs. M**f. Great matches vs Reignballz and Sissy Girl.

Last night's 12-0 victory over Rubber Facial in the first round of playoffs sets up an epic semi-finals match vs the defending WeHo champs: REIGNBALLS DODGEBALL FORCE. It's gonna be a bloodbath :)