Inner Empower Life Coaching

After years of studying psychology, attachment theory, and childhood development, I built the first map to childhood trauma that doesn’t require you to remember what happened or relive any of it. It finds the unmet need underneath the behavior and heals it at the subconscious level, which is where the pattern actually lives.

Because those behaviors you’ve been trying to change for years, the way you shut down in conflict, the way you over-give until you resent it, the way you keep choosing people who can’t quite meet you, all have the same root.

And that root lives in what happened to you in childhood. Your inner child has been running those same protective responses ever since, whether you have a single memory of it or not. The body encodes experience before we’re old enough to make sense of it, which is why you can read every self help book, go to therapy for years, and still feel completely stuck in the same patterns.

Nobody gave you the map yet. That’s why you’re still here. And you’ve been trying to heal but by managing symptoms, not the root cause.

So here’s what you need to do:

1) make sure you’re following me so you can get more tips and resources.
2) DM me “mymap” so we can have a personalized conversation about exactly what your healing needs are.
3) practice compassion with yourself! this work is challenging and can be so frustrating when you keep managing symptoms. But I’m here to drive you to the version of you that you’ve always wanted to be.

Yesterday I supported my good friend Lydia's roundtable inside the London Stock Exchange, for Asian Women in Banking and Finance. Despite having quite WallStreet over a decade ago, I found the pains that we all faced as women of color were not that different from when I left.

The hardest pill to swallow is that you can know you deserve a raise and still not be able to ask for it. That's just one version of a bigger thing, not speaking up in the meeting, not pushing back when something's unfair, not saying the sentence that would actually change the outcome. For me, I was the only woman in the room, the only brown woman in the room, surrounded by white men, and knowing what I deserved never made it easier to use my voice.

That gap isn't a confidence problem. Your conscious mind can believe you deserve more, but your nervous system is running on something older, years of learning that staying quiet kept you safe in rooms like that one.

You feel it before you even decide to stay quiet. Your throat tightens. Your heart picks up. Your stomach turns. That's your body protecting you from a threat that isn't actually there anymore.

Every time you push past that and speak anyway, whether it's the raise, the boundary, or the opinion you're holding back, you're teaching your nervous system something new, that it's safe now to use the voice you already have.

If this hit home, tell me in the comments, what's been the thing you want the most in your career but get stuck and can't ask for it.

Rejection sensitivity has been blocking my blessings. I have shied away from opportunities, conversations, asks, and chances that could have changed things for me. And honestly, I did not even realize it until recently.

So when I heard about the 100 day rejection challenge, I was all in.

But I need your help! Drop in the comments the most daring thing you think I should do to get rejected.

And if you want to join me, DM me and let's do it together.

You have spent your whole life trying to take up less space and accomplish more at the same time.

The mother wound taught you that you were too much, too loud, too emotional, too needy, too sensitive. So you learned to shrink. To disappear a little. To make yourself easier to love.

The father wound taught you that you were never quite enough, not successful enough, not smart enough, not impressive enough. So you learned to perform. To achieve. To prove.

And most people are carrying both.

This is a wound that is still running your life quietly in the background.

The good news is wounds can heal. Drop a 🤍 if this resonates and tell me in the comments, which one hits closer to home for you?

child

I know that is uncomfortable to hear. But stay with me.

They didn't respect my boundary" is not actually a thing.

A boundary is not something you hand to someone else and hope they follow.

Send this to the last person that told you you didn't respect their boundary. No just kidding lol, but save this!

Boundaries are not about other people. They are rules for yourself about what you are going to do. You cannot control whether someone respects your boundary. You can only control whether you enforce it.

"Don't talk to me like that" is not a boundary. It is a request. "If you keep talking to me like that I will leave this conversation" - now that is a boundary. Because it is about what you will do, not what you need them to do.

And if you are not enforcing it? It is not a boundary. It is a preference.

Nobody can violate your boundary without your participation. Understanding that is where your actual power lives.