Ask the Child Whisperer- A Parenting Coach & Early Childhood Consultant. Helping children, families, and schools with challenges, big or small.
12/16/2025
When you give direction or advice, and they choose to ignore it, you hold your breath waiting to see their strategy blow up.
Remember to look at the bigger picture.
It is not personal, even if they make it sound so.
They blame you because you are an extension of themselves.
Help them learn to pivot. Teach them to navigate through ego and get to practical thinking.
If this helps, leave a heart below❤️
Hello Families,
During this tremendously shocking time, I created a video to support those of you navigating heavy and complicated conversations due to the impact of the fires.
Please let me know if you want to set up a call. I am offering extended hours.
Joshua
02/21/2024
100 percent TRUTH! Bossy girls are essential to the development of their peers.
1) These girls are detailed oriented. They are able to direct various players throughout a game and keep the connection between storyline and action going. "Bossy girls" make the connections visible and therefore the game more fun for children with more immature play skills.
2) Bossy girls are attuned to the culture of the class. When surprises occur children often read her reaction to know whether or not panic is necessary.
3) Bossy Girls are expected to be brave and take on challenges head-on. They know others are expecting them to trail blaze whether they want to or not.
4) Some girls land in this position out of choice, some from necessity. Regardless it is an unspoken expectation that they will and must "take on" the teacher/grown-ups if need be. This is an unspoken expectation from the other children.
5) Bossy girls often get seen as a negative persona when in fact children rely on them in various ways. One particular trait is bravery. Children assume she will be brave on all occasions.
6) Bossy girls often get trapped in this role. If more immature/anxious/hesitant players need their constant narration and prompting they have no choice but to continue.
7) When identified as a bossy girl instead of leader teachers and adults will not come to their aid or see that they are trapped and need help forming a new identity within the group.
8) Calling a girl bossy instead of a leader is very telling about the storyline you are hoisting upon her.
Being a "bossy girl" isn't what the television tells you it is. Oftentimes this girl is the mini teacher, mom, warrior that other children need. It is an exhausting role for a girl to take on. Negative behaviors often arise when the weight is simply too much or she has social challenges she is masking.
So please honor, respect, and protect the Bossy Girl. She is a treasure!
If you have any questions, please let me know below.
02/19/2024
You feel bad because the baby is crying hysterically and the bottle isn't ready,
You feel awful because the diaper wasn't fastened tight enough and there's a blowout,
You feel badly the toddler is soaked and you didn't bring extra clothes,
You feel terrible when the snacks run out,
You feel awful when your kid is crying and you don't know why,
You feel unworthy when your kid runs to the other parent for comfort and not you,
You are heartbroken you lost it and started yelling.
Parenting is tough. It can feel like you are walking with blinders on, it can also feel like it's a brand new start every-single-day in the not to so good way.
What I want you to know is that every day your child is learning something new.
Each day your child is shifting their perspective.
Each day YOU ARE parenting a new child.
A child you don't completely know because you are allowing them to become their own person.
Yes, from babies and beyond the love of your life will be slightly ahead or slightly behind your rhythms or expectations. That is how it is SUPPOSED to be.
You are NOT A BAD PARENT you are feeling the sting, frustration, or worry of being out of sync.
Being out of sync is just as good as being in sync. It provides room for both of you to see yourselves as separate from each other.
When too much friction arises, it is time to see what messages are being transmitted. What does your child need? What does your child want?
At that point, you slow down, without guilt or shame, and make adjustments.
Parenting is a brilliant and taxing ride. Stop slamming your brakes when they begin to accelerate, Don't accelerate when they are shifting into neutral.
Parenting is like getting to know a new car. Try to enjoy the ride!
If your VW is more monster truck these days, reach out. I can help😆
02/16/2024
What do I do when my kids go back to school, daycare, etc?
1) CRY
Yes, you finally take a moment to admit how hard this year has been. You take advantage of not having little souls to mind and you ugly cry, take a loooonnnngggg shower, you sit in wonder and awe just how much you have managed to keep most things afloat.
2) CONNECT
You meet a dear friend in person in any way that you can make it happen. If you are a working parent, sync your lunch breaks and meet in a parking lot. DO IT! It's time to offload your biggest mess-ups, your biggest worries, your Depression, your anxiety or your relief. IT doesn't matter what you talk about but it can not be about your kids. This is YOU TIME!!!
3) SLEEP
Curl up in a ball and sleep. This is your time to catch up on sleep without waking up worried about a mask, laundry, kids fighting, ordering groceries, etc. Catnaps count.
REPEAT
Why are the elements important? Because your children now have access to their village it is time for you to reach out to yours and to rebuild your strength. As the school honeymoon comes to an end your children will need you in a new way. Recharge your battery so you have something to give.
PLEASE trust me on this! Trauma and shock don't heal themselves. Your healing matters too!
02/14/2024
Yeah, I said it.
There are phases that will drain your soul faster than an infant can crawl to the dog bowl.
Let's name a few NOT parent favorites:
Baby grabbing scratching for your nose and eyes.
Baby pulling out the few hairs you have on your head.
Toddlers who run away from you like a tight end during the Super Bowl.
Toddlers who turn into raging raccoons at the sight of the car seat.
Toddlers who throw food on the floor.
Preshoolers who demand to wear the same shirt every day.
Preschoolers who demand to wear the same costume every day.
Preschoolers who have a thing for wanting to do the most complicated tasks for themselves.
School-age kids who decide they need to wait to see what their friends decide before forming an opinion.
School-age kids who want to determine their schedule yet have no sense of time.
The list goes on and on. Not every developmental phase is fun for us. If we know this ahead of time then we can change our mindset and understand the child's brain is doing its work.
Our task is not to ENJOY the job site, instead, we are tasked to respect it and tread lightly around it.
When these soul-draining behaviors emerge it is the child's brain rewiring a new neuropathway, it is the next layer of confidence-building it the next level of troubleshooting. These are all good things, but please understand evolution is messy.
Don't fall into the myth that you are supposed to love this time. It can be hard to watch and frustrating to be a part of.
So give yourself a break. Beyond taking a breath have YOUR self-talk ready.
"My kid is growing. These behaviors are supposed to happen. I don't have to blow up. I can be more patient."
When I had a classroom of 22 children hitting a developmental phase together I found my sanity in celebrating the fact I didn't have 100 kids😂
I was dazzled by how different children found their way in and out of these phases.
You will have FUN, but it may very well be on the tail end of this phase. Your job is to maneuver as best you can and remember the cognitive leap doesn't impact every part of the day. Find the regular moments and lean into those.
02/12/2024
I want all of you to do this today...
Ｓｕｒｒｅｎｄｅｒ Ｙｏｕｒ Ａｇｅｎｄａｓ!
As well as your worries, the endless coaching, and remember to marvel at this little human being who is making their way in the world.
Relish in their nonsense words, enjoy their sass, appreciate their naiveté, enjoy their unconditional love, and enjoy their shortcomings because this is the magic that makes it all worth it.
𝓦𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓶𝓪𝓰𝓲𝓬?
I’m referring to the magic of this day and this particular moment in time.
Notice how your child places their hand on you back. Observe how your child dances without rhyme or reason. Becoming aware of how your child loves to read books upside down.
Remember to laugh at the fact that your child sees your intelligence as foolishness and your silliness as brilliance.
If you do nothing else today, remember to laugh and enjoy your child!
11/03/2023
Help your child develop emotional intelligence by encouraging them to identify and express their feelings. Emotions are a natural part of life, and teaching your child to recognize and manage their emotions is a valuable life skill.
Create an open and safe space for your child to talk about how they feel. Listen without judgment and validate their emotions. This empowers them to understand and communicate their feelings effectively.
Additionally, model emotional intelligence in your interactions. Show how you manage your emotions, resolve conflicts, and express empathy. Teaching emotional intelligence equips your child with valuable tools for building healthy relationships and coping with life's challenges.
11/02/2023
Are you tired of butting heads with your child? It's time for a positive change! Our 1:1 coaching and group coaching sessions are designed to empower parents like you to navigate challenging behaviors with confidence.
🌻 Together, we'll create healthy, happy family dynamics. Say goodbye to stress and hello to parenting joy. Your child's early years are precious, and we're here to make them beautiful.
Ready to start your journey to stress-free parenting? Book a consultation today! 🤗👨👩👧
11/01/2023
🖍️ From Organizing to Creating: Nurturing a Child's Imagination with Chalk 🧒✨
Have you ever watched a child meticulously organize chalk pieces instead of drawing with them? It's a fascinating journey of discovery! In our latest blog, we share the heartwarming story of a young boy's transformation from a chalk organizer to a creative artist.
🎨 Explore the steps that guided him on this incredible path: from understanding the purpose of materials to the magic of drawing lines that sparked his imagination. This story reminds us that sometimes, the first steps to creativity involve breaking free from routines.
Ready to inspire your child's artistic side? Dive into the full article and embark on a colorful adventure with chalk! 🌈🖌️
https://askthechildwhisperer.com/the-boy-who-lined-up-the-chalk/
10/30/2023
Parenting can be demanding, and it's easy for parents to neglect their own well-being while caring for their children. However, taking care of yourself is essential for being the best parent you can be.
Make self-care a priority. It's not selfish; it's necessary.
Set aside time for activities that recharge you, whether it's reading a book, exercising, meditating, or spending time with friends. Prioritize your physical and mental health because a well-rested and content parent is better equipped to handle the challenges of parenting.
By practicing self-care, parents can model the importance of self-compassion and self-care to their children, teaching them how to maintain a healthy balance in life.
10/27/2023
Parenting is a journey of love, growth, and sometimes, challenges. If you're seeking a deeper connection with your child, you're in the right place!
🌟 Join me on this transformative path where we blend the best of parenting philosophies. From attachment parenting to mindfulness, we'll create a strong foundation for authentic connections within your family.
Ready to experience the joy of parenting with heart? Book your consultation now and let's embark on this beautiful journey together! 🚀👶
I am excited to help you traverse your current challenge. Whether it is a time of happiness or sadness, frustration or inspiration, determination or fear, I can help you. My experience as a teacher, director, consultant, parent, and all-around optimist will help you uncover the many possibilities that have yet to be uncovered.
In other words, I am the person that you are hoping to meet when things go amiss. I am the person who will see your child as a whole. The person who will help you promote change and growth in areas that are of concern without feeling like a horrible parent during the process. Parents, I will preserve the uniqueness of your family and above all, I will seek to improve your child’s adjustment into the world without making her feel less than.
I am the person who will help put words to your feelings, translate what your child is trying to express and empower you to make choices that will create a positive shift. When you are tired, lost or overwhelmed, I will provide the calm, clarity and optimism to make forward progress attainable.
My philosophical foundation is eclectic. Attachment parenting, RIE, Mindfulness, as well as traditional parenting, create a foundation which promotes deep and authentic connection to your child. I strive to connect, not only the child to the parent, but more importantly to connect the parent to her/himself.