Coach Abel Rios

I dislike this time of year.

Tens of thousands of kids get a letter from their school coach that they didn’t make the cut for their school’s soccer team.

It’s absurd.

These kids, some of them who participate in a soccer program outside of school, often feel like they aren’t good enough.

The sorry part about it is that these coaches have time to work with these players to get them to a level of standard that helps them make their school’s team.

But instead, they cut them.

They’re sent home with a letter and tell them they “don’t meet the standard”.

These coaches tell adolescents that they’re not good enough, when in reality they just aren’t developed enough. There’s a difference.

Development takes intention. It takes patience. It takes coaches who see potential, not just current performances.

School sports are supposed to provide access to sports. They are meant to build culture, confidence, leadership, and resilience.

Of course there has to be a standard. Of course there has to be accountability. But when the default answer is to cut instead of teach, we’ve missed the point.

We can raise the level without lowering opportunity.

If we really care about the game, and about kids, then development has to matter more than ego.

That’s the standard.

I love winning. Every coach does.

But I don’t emphasize winning at the expense of development.

If the only thing we care about is the scoreboard, we miss the bigger picture. We stop taking risks. We stop trying new ideas. We stop learning.

My focus is on building players who understand the game, make good decisions under pressure, and can solve problems on their own. That does not always lead to the prettiest result in the short term.

It does lead to better players in the long term.

Winning is a byproduct of doing the right things consistently. Good habits means good decisions, confidence in the game, and learning to be accountable.

I want players who can win today, and still be prepared to win at the next level.

If you believe development comes first, support it. Measure progress, not just results. That’s how we build better players and better teams.

I recently heard the phrase, “The team doesn’t need a life coach.”

And I understand where that comes from.

But good coaching has never been just about drills, formations, or tactics.

Every training session and every match puts players in moments of pressure. They have to make decisions, respond to mistakes, communicate with teammates, manage emotions, and stay confident when things are not going their way. Those moments directly affect performance.

Teaching players how to handle those situations isn’t life coaching.

It is player development.

Soccer is the environment we use to build habits like accountability, resilience, composure, and confidence, because those traits show up on the ball, off the ball, and when it matters most.

You can teach technique all day.
But if a player can’t think clearly under pressure, handle adversity, or trust themselves, the game will always expose it.

Development isn’t loud.
It isn’t motivational speeches.
It is consistent standards, honest feedback, and helping players grow in ways that last longer than a single season.

That’s the kind of coaching I believe in.

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If you are a parent, player, or coach, I would love to hear your thoughts.

What do you think matters most in long-term player development?

Humbled and grateful.

THANK A COACH! All month long, Steel Nation is encouraged to send in a thank you to their coach to let our coaches know why they’re thankful for them. Next up: Coach Abel Rios from Steel United Texas! 🩷

“Thank you, Coach Abel Rios, for always being there during the tough games. Thank you for all of the troubleshooting and support you have given the whole team. You are the best coach ever!”

I’m definitely lucky to have such a fun group of athletes and parents.

THANK A COACH! All month long, Steel Nation is encouraged to send in a thank you to their coach to let our coaches know why they’re thankful for them. Next we have: Coach Abel from Steel United Texas! 🩷

“I am very thankful for Coach Abel! I appreciate the time, effort and care he’s shown in helping me grow as both a player and a person. Your encouragement has made a big difference in my confidence and love for the game.”

I approach coaching soccer with the mindset that I have to own what I’m teaching.

Often I hear opposing coaches yell to their players, “Why didn’t you do this/that?!”

It’s easy to blame the players when they mess up.

It’s even easier to blame them when they “don’t get it,” when they don’t see the picture I see or understand the way I want them to play.

But here’s the truth I remind myself of every week: If they don’t know it, it’s because I haven’t taught it clearly enough.

Before I get frustrated, I ask one question:
“Did I actually teach this, or did I just expect them to know it?”

Most of the time, the answer is humbling. Sometimes I think we covered a topic. Then game day comes and I assume they picked it up. It’s easy to forget that kids don’t come with the full picture.

I have to build it.

My coaching isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being accountable. It’s about seeing mistakes as feedback on what is taught, not their talent. When I approach it that way, everything shifts: their energy, their development, and the results.

Own the teaching. The rest follows.

What an amazing weekend for the Steel United Texas family!

Having the confidence and dedication of such amazing parents is such a blessing. It makes it easier to coach such a great group of young men.

THANK A COACH! All month long, Steel Nation is encouraged to send in a thank you to their coach to let our coaches know why they’re thankful for them. Next: Coach Abel Rios from Steel United Texas! 🩷

“Thank you to my Coach, Abel Rios, for pushing me, believing in me and always keeping the team motivated! I joined Steel United this year, and I could not have asked for a better coach. I am grateful for everything you’ve taught me both on and off the field.”