07/28/2026
I didn’t get to have a newborn photo shoot.
No first look, fresh 48 shots of him in his coming home from the hospital outfit, not because I hadn’t picked one out, but because he never came home.
No bundled up like a burrito in muslin cloth with his tiny toes out, because he never even left the hospital. Those toes never got kissed by sunshine. Never got to touch grass or dirt, or sand or snow.
In fact the only photo I have of him without tubes is when he was already dead.
My baby was here. And then he was gone.
So, 4 months later, belly still branded with linea nigra, I had a grief photo shoot.
I sat in his empty nursery.
I veiled my face in lace.
I rested my head on the stack of “how to survive the death of your baby” books.
I did it to remember.
I did it to make others look at it. The pain. The grief. The loss. The heaviness. The emptiness.
I see these photos and I can hear the screams.
Maybe you can hear it to?
Sarah Havens Photography
04/26/2026
02/19/2026