Vivian Rubio

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🎃 Getting our Thriller on at the Ascendo Coral Gables office! A team that knows how to boogie. #ascendo #ascendoresources #thriller #halloween #halloweencostume #officehalloween #officezombies #miami #coralgables

I was listening to earlier. I had the sudden realization that there is so much I have been doing out of fear. Self-doubt was something I had never related to but... if you unpack it in different words.... then... you do see the self doubt.

HIDING! After I graduated from UCLA, I had an amazing manager and was sending self tapes for projects that I had always dreamed of. I spent money in coaching, self-taping places and I would dedicate my full time to just sending top of the line auditions (top of the line to my criteria). After so many auditions that lead to nothing (not even feedback) I realized I was never what the projects were looking for. I felt rejected. Not only by those projects but also by my manager who gave up on me. That’s when I started to hide.

I didn’t know why I wasn’t being picked and I was ashamed. I was hiding from acting studios, my friends and social media. I had so much confidence that was destroyed by so much rejection without feedback for me to grow (which is usually the hardest part of acting). Then I became hypercritical about the projects I was being sent to and I would give myself a NO before even auditioning. Then I became hopeless and because bills are due I had to find jobs that were not related to my profession. Bartending, serving, personal training, etc...

It’s hard to come back from the hiding, hesitating, hypercritical and hopeless place I have created. Especially, since I’m well aware that this is not the right way to react to this type of situation. The truth is, even when you know certain emotions are wrong to feel... when they are there... THAT’S WHERE YOU ARE AT 🙈 I’m trying to overcome it everyday just a little more. You guys have no idea how much each single comment and advice counts. I believe that since feedback from people was what pushed me into that place and I need positive feedback to get me out.

I have dedicated many years of my life to be a professional actor, and for the past 3 years I have been in pain from not knowing how to fight back. I didn’t fight. I have been hiding. I am trying to come out, not because I feel better because I’m still doubting... I’m coming out from hiding out of

The day has arrived! Yes!!!! I’m feeling hopeful. I have had a tiny gray cloud over my head for the past few weeks and yesterday finally the cloud is gone. I am so grateful for friends and good people who are around me always helping me see the colors and the fun. Life sucks sometimes but it’s only for comedy purposes, otherwise... what are we going to laugh about but the unmet expectations? 🤣🤣🤣

Since I was a little girl, bedtime was always the scariest “activity” of the day. My imagination would run wild in the dark and I remember my sister scaring me with stories and pranks. I was so scared of night time, silence, my imagination and I remember praying so much for my fear to go away. Some nights I would ask for my dad to bring me a glass of water. Being older didn’t change a thing, I would have the worst nightmares and after begging and crying to my dad, he would give in and sleep in my bed with me. Other nights I would sleep walk and do things that I didn’t remember the next day. My family would tell me what I was doing as I interacted with the world fully asleep. I’m not a little girl anymore and still to this day, going to bed alone is terrifying 😂. Any noises, any thoughts can trigger deep feelings of anxiety in me. I always wonder what I would do on my next sleep-walk trip. Does anyone else relate to this?
@ Sleeptime

I live on my phone. Not just after COVID but even before. I never knew that my phone and I were gonna have such an intimate relationship that I feel as if I lived inside of it. I wanted to be on a screen and I ended up on a small (but very personal screen)

Ok, ok, ok... here is my ? 😂