Cedric Thompson Jr

The areas of your life that are thriving didn’t get that way by accident. You put work into them. Sometimes the marriage just needs one person to stop waiting and start moving.

I had a conversation with last week that really opened up my eyes to the importance of playing with my kids.

Originally I thought I didn’t play with my kids all that much because I find myself implementing structure and routine throughout my home. But when I sat back and thought about it, I do play with my kids a lot. I just didn’t realize it because I’m always on the go in my mind.

I got to capture this one in the spur of the moment as a little reminder to enjoy these times. They won’t last forever in the physical sense but my hope is that they will last in my girls core memories forever.

If you’re in a hard season with your partner, this is just a reminder. Hard times don’t mean you married the wrong person, they just mean you’re in a hard time.

The things that men carry are heavy.

I drew this mental load map for men because I wanted to better understand what men are carrying.

What stood out to me is that a man’s mental load isn’t usually a list.

It’s a constant weight.

A husband is thinking about his wife. A father is thinking about his kids. A worker is thinking about how to provide. And underneath each of those responsibilities are dozens of other responsibilities.

While he’s trying to stay connected to his wife, he’s also trying to be emotionally supportive and understand what she needs. While he’s trying to raise good kids, he’s thinking about discipline, toughness, guidance, and being present. While he’s at work, he’s constantly asking himself the same question: How do I make my family’s life easier, better, and safer?

A lot of what men carry never gets written down. It’s the physical labor, the unexpected problems, the financial pressure, the decisions that need to be made, and the responsibility of knowing people are depending on you.

The biggest lesson for me wasn’t proving that men have it harder. It was realizing that men and women are often carrying different loads that the other person doesn’t fully see.

Just like many women want their mental load acknowledged, I think many men want their responsibility load acknowledged too.

Sometimes people don’t need you to solve everything they’re carrying. They just need to know you see it.

If this resonates with you, check my Story Highlights and take the free Emotional Leadership Assessment to see where you’re at as an emotional leader in your household, and join The Household for more conversations like this.

I drew this mental load map to better understand my wife, and when I showed it to her, she looked at it and said, “Yeah, that’s exactly it.” What stood out to me is that the mental load isn’t just a list of things to do. It’s multiple roles happening at the same time. Being a mom has a list. Being a wife has a list. Work has a list. And each of those lists has more lists underneath it. While she’s trying to be a good mom, she’s also trying to be emotionally available for me. While she’s trying to keep up at work, she’s also thinking about the house. While she’s taking care of everyone else, she’s often carrying dozens of things that never make it onto a calendar or a checklist. The biggest lesson for me wasn’t figuring out how to solve all of it. It was learning to acknowledge that it exists and finding ways to take ownership of some of those lists so she doesn’t have to carry them alone. Sometimes people don’t need you to fix everything. They just need to know you see what they’ve been carrying. If this resonates with you, check my Story Highlights and take the free Emotional Leadership Assessment to see where you’re at as an emotional leader in your household, and join The Household for more conversations like this.

I’ve learned that consideration is the highest form of love.

Let the big things be big things and the small things be small things.

Learning to pay attention to the little signs your partner gives you throughout the day is one of the most important things we work on inside The Household. If that resonates, come join us. Link in bio.