Stewart Life Coaching

The Importance Of Smaller Steps
Nobody sees how much you've changed.

100lb physical weight loss?
Noticeable.

100lb mental weight loss?
Not as noticeable.

When you change your way of being,
it happens slowly over time.

The reinvention happens in the small actions you’re making every single day.

People most likely won't be able to affirm the change you see in yourself.

But you do.

You set the boundary.
You became more honest.
You said yes to you and no to them.

It’s those small actions over time
that creates the muscle memory
for big change.

You’re not doing this for them.
You’re doing this for you.

This is a lesson in persistence.

99% will back out because they won’t see the results on their schedule.

Be the 1% who knows once you get your mind, body, and soul right—
The miracle is right around the corner.

Ready to be, do, and feel different?

The Impact of Kindness on Mental Health
How can you leverage kindness for your mental health?

Here are 4 tactics I used:

1. Help an older person
At 19 I was suspended from school for 5 days.
Why?
→ “Too chatty”
You know, the school system is based on not giving a voice to guys and girls.
“So?”
So I had to spend 5 days in a care home – as “punishment”.
In reality it was one of the best gifts ever.
I was more empathetic with elders than all the nurses combined.
But most importantly I figured out the impact of kindness on mental health.
Feeding the elderly at breakfast made me proud for 5 days.

2. Give charity
When I used to go shopping physically, there was always a person asking for charity.
99% of the time they were from Africa.

What I used to do is this:
→ I gave them money
→ And in return, I'd ask them to share a quick version of their story.
I’ve goosebumps now thinking about it.
You can't even imagine how grateful you become after listening to those stories.

3. Be kind online
Do you know why I use emojis here on LinkedIn?
Nope, it's not for fun.
It’s for trying to spread kindness.
Emojis make me happy – and I hope they make you happy too.
So, be kind on social media.
Social media are empty platforms.
The ones accountable for the emotions we experience here are ourselves.

4. Help cats in catteries
A friend of mine was fully in love with cats - more than her boyfriend
She used to spend Saturdays in a cattery to help cats struggling.
Thanks to her, now I love cats.
And thanks to her, now I know the power of helping animals in trouble.

The Impact Of Family Communication Patterns On Self-Esteem
Family communication plays a crucial role in shaping key aspects of personality, particularly self-esteem. A study, conducted among university students in Iran, highlights how different communication styles within families influence self-esteem levels.
The study examined the relationship between family communication patterns—categorized into conversation orientation (encouraging open discussion) and conformity orientation (emphasizing uniformity and obedience)—and self-esteem. Findings revealed that students raised in families with high conversation and low conformity reported higher self-esteem. Conversely, those from families with low conversation and high conformity exhibited lower self-esteem.
These results align with previous research (e.g., Huang, 1999) that suggests fostering open discussions within families enhances self-worth. Moreover, prior studies (Marack, 1995, 2006; Harter, 1995, 2003) indicate that high self-esteem correlates strongly with happiness and life satisfaction, whereas low self-esteem is associated with anxiety, depression, and even academic failure.
Understanding the impact of family communication on psychological well-being is vital for educators, psychologists, and parents alike. Encouraging open dialogue at home, rather than enforcing strict conformity, may significantly contribute to children's emotional development.

The Impact of Childhood Trauma
How do you navigate through trauma?

Here’s a tool:
→ Letter to my Younger Self

Yes, it’s a powerful exercise that will help you to:
→ understand yourself better
→ reflect on your past experiences
→ express compassion for your younger self

Are we ready?
We’re gonna follow 10 steps.

1. Find a quiet space where you can focus without distractions.

You just need:
→ Your Wellbeing Journal
→ A calming atmosphere

2. Now, start writing your letter.
Remember: it’s a letter for your younger self.
So start the letter by dating it.

For example:
→ “March 8, 20--”

3. Now make sure to address your younger self.

For example:
→ “Dear Chloe at 10,”

4. Now reflect on the experiences that led to your trauma.
There are no judgments here.
Write down your pain and struggles.

For example:
→ “I know that during those years you faced…”
→ “And I know those moments were very tough…”

5. Now it’s time to show compassion.
Try to offer the empathy you may have needed during that time.

For example:
→ “I want you to know that I understand the emotions you felt…”
→ “It’s okay to have felt scared, angry, anxious and confused.”
→ “It’s okay to not have always felt okay, Chloe.”

6. Now it’s time to remember your resilience.
Continue the letter by recognizing the strength you had in the period.

For example:
→ “You know what, Chloe? Despite everything I can see the unique strength within you.
→ “Do you remember that day, when you…?”
→ “You showed an incredible courage!”

7. Now it’s time to give reassurance.
Tell your younger self that the trauma was not their fault.

For example:
→ “Please Chloe, remember this: what happened was not your fault.”
→ “You know you did your best in that situation.”

8. Now it’s time to offer some lessons you’ve learned.

For example:
→ “One thing I’ve learned in these last few years is the importance of….”
→ “It can be really helpful when you feel…”

9. Now the magic word is “gratitude”.
Express gratitude for the lessons you’ve learned.

For example:
→ “Chloe, I’m really grateful for the lessons learned since that moment.”
→ “I truly believe those experiences have created OUR uniqueness.”

10. Now it’s time to close with self-love.
Just let your younger self know that they deserve love and care.

For example:
→ “Chloe, before ending this letter I want to tell you this…”
→ “You deserve love, care and positive people around you.”
→ “You've got everything it takes to build a positive future— starting right now.”

The Iceberg Of Toxic Culture
#1 danger most employees overlook in the beginning:

Toxic Work Culture.

Most candidates focus on:

↳ Salary.
↳ Job responsibilities.
↳ Benefits and team activities.

I used to do the same.
And yes, these things matter.

But none of it will matter if you step into a toxic environment.

What’s easy to spot in the first few weeks:

➟ High turnover
➟ Unmotivated employees
➟ Quiet quitting

What’s beneath the surface:

➟ Micromanagement
➟ Favoritism
➟ Incompetent leadership
➟ Blame culture
➟ Lack of trust
➟ No growth opportunities
➟ Overwork and burnout
➟ Unrealistic expectations
➟ No flexibility
➟ Feeling undervalued
➟ Gossip and office politics
➟ Poor communication
➟ Stagnant salaries

Culture isn’t just what’s visible — it’s what’s felt.

A thriving team isn’t built on surface-level perks.

It’s built on trust, respect, and an environment where people want to stay.

The real question:
What’s beneath the surface of your workplace?

Have you ever taken a job only to realize the culture was toxic?

What were the warning signs?

The Iceberg Of Ignorance
𝗗𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗼𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗵𝘆 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗱𝗲𝗰𝗶𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗼𝗽 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗲 𝗳𝘂𝗿𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗱𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗮𝗻𝗶𝘀𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻?

It’s often because leaders at the top are disconnected from what’s happening on the front lines.

𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗜 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗺𝘆 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗲𝗿, 𝗜 𝗮𝘀𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗲𝗱: “𝗧𝗵𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄.” 𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲’𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝘀 𝗜 𝗺𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗱 𝘂𝗽:

🔹 "𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗵𝗶𝗴𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗴𝗼, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄."

Sidney Yoshida’s Iceberg of Ignorance illustrates this brilliantly:

- 𝗧𝗼𝗽 𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗴𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 knows only 𝟰% of the problems.
- 𝗠𝗶𝗱𝗱𝗹𝗲 𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗴𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 knows 𝟵%.
- 𝗦𝘂𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗶𝘀𝗼𝗿𝘀 know 𝟳𝟰%.
- 𝗙𝗿𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗲𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗼𝘆𝗲𝗲𝘀 know 𝟭𝟬𝟬%.

𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲𝘀 𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗲. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗶𝘀:

𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝗲𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗮𝗻𝗶𝘀𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗶𝘁𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆?

👉 𝗜𝗻 𝗮 𝗴𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁 𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗮𝗻𝗶𝘀𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻: Leaders act 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 on critical issues that require their involvement. They empower teams to solve problems at their level, close to where the work happens. 🟢 𝗗𝗲𝗰𝗶𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗾𝘂𝗶𝗰𝗸. 𝗧𝗿𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗵𝗶𝗴𝗵. 𝗔𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗻𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗰𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿.

🚨 𝗜𝗻 𝗮𝗻 𝘂𝗻𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗹𝘁𝗵𝘆 𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗮𝗻𝗶𝘀𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻: Front lines suffer from poor top-down decisions. Leaders are blind to what really matters. The result? 𝗡𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝗱𝗲𝗰𝗶𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀, 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗮𝗴𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗺𝘀, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗽𝗼𝗼𝗿 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲.

✨ 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗮𝗻𝗶𝘀𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗲𝗺𝗽𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝗰𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗱𝗲𝗰𝗶𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗶𝘁.

Because that’s how you unlock alignment, agility, and high performance.

The Iceberg Of Hard Work
It's going to be hard.

But it doesn't have to crush you.

To the untrained eye,
the finished result of anything
just appears as the finished result.

But anyone who has the deep experience
in a given domain sees below the surface.

When the...

Artist views the piece
Developer uses the software
Entrepreneur studies the startup
Architect marvels over the structure

They get a different sense
of what it took to be
truly exceptional.

When I started my entrepreneurial journey,
All I thought about was the business.
I had no idea the real work was in

→ Sleep hygiene
→ Crisis mapping
→ Managing health
→ Honing resilience
→ Bolstering mindset
→ Habit management

None of these things make the hard work go away,
but they greatly increase your chances of success.

The harder something is, the more it is worth doing.
And the person you become by doing it,
is greater than any outcome
that everyone else sees
above the surface.

The Iceberg Of Boundaries
What can you do when people don’t respect your boundaries?

I feel you!
Respect is my core value, so it matters a lot to me too.
Let’s try these 4 steps.

1. First, we need to be crystal clear about what our boundary is.

Ask yourself:
→ What exactly do I need or not need in this situation?

Make it as specific as possible, so there’s no confusion.
At the same time, try to keep it concise.

For example:
→ “I need to leave work on time every day to have time for myself”
And of course, let people know what you mean by “on time”

2. Now, ask yourself:
→ What will happen if my boundary is crossed?

The consequence doesn’t have to be harsh.
It just needs to protect your needs.
It also needs to show that you’re serious about your boundary.
And of course, you need to let people know what those consequences are.

For example, you can say:
→ “If I keep being asked to stay late, I won’t be able to take on additional tasks in the future”

3. Clarity is a superpower when talking about boundaries, right?

So, when you talk to the person about your boundary, keep it clear.
Sometimes, people disrespect us because they don’t know what respect means to us.
And that’s on us.
Communication starts with the sender, not the recipient, right?

Here’s what you might say:
→ “I’ve noticed I’ve been asked to stay late often, and I really need time for myself after work. If this continues, I won’t be able to take on extra tasks.”

And remember, don’t feel guilty.
There’s nothing to feel guilty about.
Boundaries are a sign of self-respect, right?

4. Now, what if the person crosses your boundary again?

Well, stick to the consequences you set.
It’s important to stay firm and consistent.
You’re not disrespecting them — you’re respecting yourself.
And you can’t truly respect others without respecting yourself first.
The more you stick to it, the more they’ll respect your boundaries in the future.

So, say something like:
→ “I’ve already said that I need time after work. As I mentioned before, I won’t be able to take on more tasks unless this changes”

See your boundaries as a gift you give to yourself.
When you do, you’ll be able to give a better gift to the other person.
Love starts with self-love — let’s not forget that!

The High-Five Reflection Method
Leaders who reflect for 15 minutes outperform their peers by 20%. Yet most of us can't find 15 minutes to think.

We fill our calendars with back-to-back meetings.

Answer emails during dinner - solving problems.

We occasionally pause to process what we've learned.

The irony? Those 15 minutes of reflection might be more valuable than hours of constant action.

Why This Matters
✅ Clear mind = Better decisions
✅ Today moves faster than yesterday
✅ Reflection separates good from great leaders

Here’s a way to get consistent with reflection:

👍 THUMB: "Victories" Celebrate Progress
What went well today?
What made you proud?

☝️ INDEX: "Growth" Track Learning
What new insight did you gain today?
What did someone teach you?

[...] MIDDLE: "Challenges" Embrace Difficulties
What obstacle did you face?
How did you handle it?

💍 RING: "Relationships" Build Connections
Who did you meaningfully connect with?
Which relationship needs attention?

🤙 PINKY: "Opportunities" Find Improvement
What could you have done better?
What will you do differently tomorrow?

Make It Stick: Take 7 to Reflect
✔️ Set a specific time (right after your last meeting)
✔️ Find your spot (quiet corner, favorite cafe)
✔️ Review your insights every Friday
✔️ Set a timer for 7 minutes

The Warning Signs of Overthinking
↳Feel more anxious after reflection
↳Excessive analysis when making decisions
↳Replay conversations and not "moving on"

Remember: The goal isn't perfect reflection. It's progress and learning.

The Hidden Struggle Of Quiet Burnout
What should we leave behind:

Burnout hustle culture.

Quiet burnout doesn’t come with dramatic signs.
It’s a slow, creeping exhaustion.

Yet, it’s just as harmful.

Here’s how it can look:

• The passion you once felt has faded.
• Tasks drag on, and motivation is low.
• You need time to recover from meetings.
• You’re tired, even after a full night’s sleep.
• You’re doing the work, but feel disconnected.
• You can’t wait for the workday to finally be over.

The danger?

Quiet burnout hides in plain sight.
It doesn’t shout “help” until it’s too late.

What causes it?

↳ Overworking without rest: Long hours build up quietly.
↳ No sense of purpose: Without a “why,” every task drains you.
↳ Weak boundaries: Saying “yes” to everything leads to imbalance.

So how to fight it:

1. Reconnect with purpose in your work.
2. Reach out to others—connection helps.
3. Set clear boundaries to protect your time.
4. Take breaks to recharge, even if they’re short.

Quiet burnout is real but manageable.

Notice the signs.

A small change now can prevent a bigger problem later.

The Hardest Thing About Organizational Change Is Not Change
Creating a business case is easy. Implementing the change is WAY harder.

- Cultural inertia
- Resistance to change
- Communication barriers
- Behavioral & Cognitive biases

It's not just Leaders who implement change. Everyone in the business does.

IF leaders take the time to get the plan right:

Do this to implement your change:

- Communicate! More than you think
- Listen & tailor solutions and plans
- Use workshops to co-create
- Make change an everyday topic
- Storytelling to get the message to stick
- Create processes to deal with human biases

Change is hard for everyone. Your approach can change that. Make it a priority.

What's your No. 1 change plan tip? Let me know in the comments below.