Zgavelli

Just finished another workshop with “Ayg” center for psychological services - this time exploring dreams through the lens of Gestalt therapy.

While theoretical knowledge is always valuable, experiential learning brings a deeper, more embodied understanding. That’s why I place such a big importance on demonstrations and practicum sessions that follow the theoretical part of the workshops.

A heartfelt thank you to the participants who bravely and openly shared their dreams with the group. I’m always so deeply moved by those subtle smiles appearing on the participants’ faces that signal insight and self-discovery.

Thank you and see you soon!

I’m filling out the pages of the journal and realizing that the big dream-goal of the month does not necessarily have to be “a thing”, it can also be a desired emotional state or a felt experience. For example, we may want to feel more assertive, or more loved, or more accepted.

Now how can one turn a desired emotional state into a goal? It does sound strange, but here are some things I have been writing, and you can use this approach too:

• I write down the real life moments when I already experience that state (even if those moments were small and seemingly insignificant). When I do that, I consciously support my growth.

• I recognize that there are parts of me that are resistant to the change. I hear them, I’m curious what they need, and I respect the strength of their resistance. It’s my strength after all.

• I remind myself that what I have written as a dream-goal is most probably a new undiscovered territory. I’ll probably stumble , but I can still be curious about the ride.

➡️ To keep a record of your own growth, you can order a copy of my journal from the link in bio 💗

Individual coaching sessions are tailored to your unique needs, goals and challenges. Whether it’s a career change, a life event, recurring interpersonal conflict, or difficulty setting boundaries, coaching can help you find forward-looking solutions. Through reflective conversations, coaching can enhance your self-awareness, helping you better understand your strengths, weaknesses, values, and motivations.

➡️ To send an inquiry, please visit the website (link in bio.)

Couples coaching sessions facilitate a true dialogue between partners who face issues in their relationship. Whether you feel unheard, unseen, misunderstood, or go through a transitional life chapter, or can’t get over a recurring fight, couples coaching can help you get to the core of the problem and make more conscious choices.

➡️ To ask about availability, session fees or to learn more about the sessions, please visit our website (link in bio).

The Ultimate Self-Coaching Journal is a powerful tool for personal growth and goal-setting. It asks you to focus on one aspect of life each month, break down the big dream about that aspect into bite-sized, manageable action items and monitor your personal transformation without feeling overwhelmed. There are 6 aspects included in the journal:

💼 Career
💕 Relationships
🧑‍🧑‍🧒‍🧒 Family
👯‍♀️ Friends & Social Circles
💗 Personal Growth
💸 Finances

The journal is designed to last for 6 months, allowing enough time for each aspects to be picked and worked on at least once.

➡️ To order your copy, visit the link in bio.

Feeling Instagram-extroverted these days, must be the post-birthday energy boost 😃

Special thanks to my dear friend for such a beautiful birthday bouquet. Took 192837 photos before picking these few.

My journal is now available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and a number of bookstores in the US and worldwide!

Order your copy today (or get a holiday gift for a friend 💖)

Describe your partner to me in one word, and you will see their exact portrait imprinted inside you.

That portrait is often created as a result of a significant event or a series of events.

We may think that our partner is “romantic”, because we carry a memory of them doing something special for us. We may think that our partner is “not into those cheesy things”, because they once responded with practicality when we needed romance.

The key to a happy relationship is knowing that our partner, as any other human being, including ourselves, is a multidimensional, multifaceted individual. They have polarities of romance-practicality, safety-adventure, emotion-logic inside them. And if we see only one side of that duality, there might be an unfinished business or some old story that is asking to be resolved.

Dedicate time to find the right professional to explore all facets of your partner and yourself.

A happy relationship is multifaceted ❤️

A couple I’m working with asked me yesterday: is it okay NOT to find a solution to a reoccurring fight?

The short answer I want to share here is: no, it’s not okay.

Most frequently, fights trigger some kind of an unfinished business from the past. Behind every fight there is a need that was never met before, and it keeps reminding us that we need to take care of it in the present. Growth cannot happen if we constantly sweep conflicts under the carpet without bringing awareness to what they are actually about.
If you are committed to a happy intimate relationship, think about the conflicts the following way: what is my partner’s or my need here? What are they trying to convey to me? Which part of me am I protecting as I get defensive in this situation?

Invest time to find a specialist to help you navigate conflicts and fights. They hold a tremendous amount of growth opportunity for you, take it ❤️

In 1992 Gary Chapman published a book where he outlined 5 ways that partners experienced and expressed romantic love. They are now referred to as “the five love languages”, which are:

• words of affirmation
• acts of service
• gifts
• quality time spent together
• physical touch

When working with couples I encounter two types of issues in this regard: 1) the partners don’t know about each other’s love language(s), 2) the partners have difficulties showing love the way the other needs.

Despite the desire to make our partner(s) happy, we might have real blockages to express our feelings in a way that makes the other feel satisfied. Something happens in the moment when we can’t physically touch our partner(s), or express sweet and reassuring words. There is usually an old narrative, a self-concept, an outdated belief behind that blockage that prevents us from doing that. You can explore those blockages in couples coaching sessions or couples therapy.

Do you know what makes you feel loved?
Do you know how your partner feels loved?
Is it easy for you to express love in a way your partner needs?

Let me know in the comments ❤️

Depending on your personality and temperament, you can be someone who avoids conflict at any cost, or tends to get irritated easily and quickly.

Healthy conflict is necessary, but we don’t always know how to handle it. Whatever place we are in the relationship, there are golden rules to follow even in the angriest states.

• NO to name-calling, belittling, attacking. It’s our right to be angry and upset, but we must remember that the other person is an equal human being and should be treated with basic respect.

• NO to manipulation and mind games. Not all of us come from families where feelings were taught to be expressed constructively and were met with openness. For that reason, we continue recreating old patterns and expect the other to read our mind, prove their love by finding ways around hidden strategies.
Take time to learn and practice sharing your thoughts and feelings directly.

• NO to competition. It’s so common to track the scores of who did what, and punish the other for not keeping up. While it is important what the partners have equal investment in the growth of the relationship, this competitive strategy only damages trust and kills the possibility for empathetic connection. Notice what the other does, learn to say words of appreciation, learn to ask for favors without demands.

And remember, with small daily steps, we can create the relationship of our dreams. Practice makes perfect.

I love this day.

It reminds me to take a moment, scroll through old photos from different periods of my life, and appreciate how far I have come in my journey of womanhood.

How many layers of social and cultural conditioning I have peeled off, and how clearly I see myself now.

How much love and unconditional support I receive from my beloved fiancé, my friends, my family and my community.

They know me. They see me.

This day reminds me to appreciate my hard and emotional journey of deaths and rebirths, and notice the beauty I have created around me.

Happy International Women’s Day. A day of freedom, liberation, movement, love, wilderness, fire and creation.

❤️

What happens when two lonely people enter a relationship?

The feeling of loneliness continues.

“It is easy and comfortable for me to be alone”, says one client.

“I don’t want him to see me. I don’t want to be seen as weak”, says the other.

Connection and intimacy hurt, so people would rather hide from each other and protect themselves with “walls and armor”.

How do they do that?

By noticing only the things that “don’t work”. By complaining and criticizing. By hurting the other to avoid feeling their own pain.

It’s a drama of human condition that moves me very deeply: reaching out and closing off at the same time.

If you find yourself in this situation, you are not alone. Many couples go through this circumstance. Help yourself by starting small, maybe from an eye contact, and explore what happens in the MOMENT you decide to turn your head away.

Healing happens when we pay attention to small instances which create our relationship ❤️‍🩹