Madison Barry

New moon in Ta**us love

swingin through trees

dreamin up schemes

grounding into presence

feeling into stillness

giving and receiving with stones, land and my favorite humans

floating and playing with birds and critters

expanding and contracting with awareness

lifting heavy things, building a stronger me

and shaking the ever better b***y for

keep moving that energy, no stagnant holes here

My birthday gift from my only girl child.

Almost too precious to share.

She is taking orders if you’re interested.

My biggest baby was born on this day 20! years ago. WOW. the perspective from here is feels monumental.

He’s the best biggest bro, and he gave us the most tremendous gift this year on his birthday weekend.

We all love you so much LP
You are a rare gem 💎

7 years of O-love 💗

dumplings, pork buns, noodle soup and apple spice cake with sprinkles

clone helmet, grimmauld place lego set, venom shirt

imaginary play on the trampoline accompanied by explosive sound effects

your generous showers of affection and gratitude are sweet contrast to your furious temper

Happy 14 🍊 to our earth rat
creative, sensitive, caring Aquarian

Happy year of the water rabbit 🐇

homemade dumplings, noodles, fish and
gingerbread cheesecake

pizza, salad and brownie sundae bar and games with friends

phoebe bridgers and taylor swift

you fill our home with your heart work

Happy 15 New Year baby

fire pig 🐷 Capricorn ♑️

solid - loyal - leader

chicken tikka and chocolate cake

Escape room and sleepovers with friends

a Lego set to build with sibs

game night

new football cleats

day of chill

An unlikely compound aroma of freshly baked brownies, toasted everything bagels and bodily fluids that evoke disgust confused my olfactory senses, keeping me awake at 3am.

Just an hour before, the youngest came into our room, rousing me from deep sleep telling of something that smelled like vinegar in his bed. I wonder, what could that be? Whatever - I would rather find out in the morning. I welcome the child to climb into bed with us so I can get back to sweet sleep.

Hazy and bewildered, the sour smell of is that what I think it is? wakes me. Please tell me I’m dreaming. No, it is puke for real. On the child in our bed. I wake my partner, tell him to go check the bed and get the sleeping older sibling out of it.

I wake the child sleeping in our bed with puke encrusted hair and pjs. Partner confirms an unfortunate scene from the next room. A very full belly emptied of its undigested contents in the bed.

We scrape chunks off flannel sheets, pillows, comforter, carpet. Remove pillow casings, mattress pad, spray mattress with chlorine free bleach. Spread baking soda liberally. Crack window. Turn on fan.

Meanwhile, the child heaves again in a more preferable location, on the floor in the bathroom this time. Partner cleans floor. I wash and help child into new pjs.

I expertly navigate comforter downstairs and out the front door without spilling chunks and toss it onto the frozen grass. Multiple trips to the laundry room with carefully balled up linens containing the acrid mess, weaving in and out of 5 teenagers having a “sleepover”. No one is sleeping here tonight. I realize it would be less awkward if I put pants on.

I create a makeshift bed on the floor in our room so the sibling doesn’t have to stay in the stinky room.

Eventually we settle into the bed next to the still sour smelling kid. seemingly interminable insomnia giving way into the half awake pseudo sleep cosleeping parents know too well. Worried that child in our bed will be sick again in our bed this time. Worried that child on the floor is cold or also will suddenly be sick too.

Smelling past midnight snack bagels and brownies, straddling teenagers and bedsharing children and sleep.

1. Shaggy inky cap mushroom season - common name, lawyer’s wig - I like this one. I learned today that they are edible when fresh (like just popped up) and taste like asparagus

2. This tea my heart has been requesting - some variation of hawthorn, hibiscus, rose petals, ginger root and/or fennel seeds. the color is so gorgeous. tastes fruity tarty fantastic.

3. my grateful face for bare chest time in the noon sun in mid October after an intense biodynamic cranio sacral session (my first). Thank you, Kara.

A beautiful human asked me today, what do you really desire and what are your fears?

Oh! Those haunting questions. They just make me want to close up, give up and cry.

My initial reaction is to get all stuck in my head with a big blank speech bubble. Nothing. I don’t know. I think it is precisely not knowing how to answer these exact questions that made me give up writing to my email list (I love you!) last, when was it now? Last Winter? I’m going to have to look that up.

I didn’t really miss writing to my email list. I even took the signup link out of my bio.

I gave up on seeing myself that way, whatever way that was. As an entrepreneur? Eww I just can’t even say it honestly. I don’t feel it in my bones. I can’t even get comfortable with associating myself with business in any capacity.

But if business means showing the f**k up for dismantling the patriarchal hierarchal whyte supremacist over culture that keeps us disconnected from our bodies, our desires, the earth, each other, our true nature then you know I’m here for it. I’m here for you. I’m here for me. I’m here for us and the earth I’m so grateful to be in relationship with.

Because the truth is, the answers to those questions that freak me out can not be imagined in my mind alone. The answers are found rooted deep in community mycorrhiza networks. The answers are in the shadows where we don’t want to look. The answers are in believing in the impossible things are bodies know are possible.

I’m so in tune with my desires, with my body based wisdom, with minding my own business in the moment. I practice every day. And it’s a wild ride. Those desires are dynamic and subversive and I AM LISTENING.

I AM LISTENING. TO MY WOMB. TO MY HEART.

This affirmation has been my sankalpa, my deepest intention I have dedicated my practice of devotion to for this entire year so far. And that dedication remains unwavering.

I’m putting the link back up. Stay tuned if you’re interested in what I’m sharing.

St John’s wort infused olive oil

made with love on the summer solstice

strained and bottled with reverence on the autumn equinox (well, almost, that was the intention, but in reality it was a few days after)

I don’t have the energy to make some snazzy reel to share this

but I am so jazzed about it irl

my first time making this oil and I couldn’t be more pleased with the result

the color is amazing (this photo is not capturing the magic)

method St. John’s wort and almost all of those bottles are repurposed from oils

plant 🌱 medicine 🤓