I forgot I had done this until I saw the final product this morning. And I’m proud of it. Life has been so very much for me for a while. I finally felt the full weight of the a year of battles, searching for a diagnosis, the discomfort and uncertainty and all the change... my way is to power through. until I popped the balloon I had been holding in... and let the feelings come. It was new for me to grieve like I did. and I am emerging on the other side. when I did this interview for Survivornet, I hadn’t been told yet that I needed a hysterectomy and I’m already on the other side of that. healing again. and today I needed to hear what I said last month. There is an article, too. I will figure out how to link in my bio. .
Pep Talk Mom
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01/30/2020
I am profoundly changed by the microcosm of life that I lived this past week.
and while I am still processing all my thoughts, and while I am still healing, and while the unknown remains and the only time is now... there are a few things I know and want to share.
Love is everything.
I have always loved fiercely. But I have also cloaked myself with armor.
This week I surrendered and in that surrender I took my armor off. And in that naked vulnerable state, I allowed myself to receive. To receive love. To receive care. To receive healing energy.
I met angels on the 16th floor of Memorial Sloan Kettering.
I was treated by masters with wisdom and patience. I was loved by my girl, and my family, and my circle and that love has triggered healing and a deeper connection to purpose.
I was inundated with positivity from my community.
I am home. I am present. I am grateful. I am love. I am figuring out pain management and allowing my body to renew. There is sunlight that streams into my bedroom and the most peaceful quiet and bright vibrations in my home.
Look people in the eye.
We are all the same.
Thank you to everyone who allowed me to feel safe and loved.
Good things happen.
Love is real.
We will be okay.
Life is a miracle and we are all connected.
I knew... but now I know.
xo m @ Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center
01/22/2020
I am standing in the arms of love. I feel protected. I am profoundly grateful for every prayer and message, photo, memory, healing vibration. thank you for the powerful embrace and the kindness and light. I hear the whispers of angels and the rally cry of my tribe. I am holding my children close. I am calm and confident and composed. I love you and I feel your love. @ Manhattan, New York
01/15/2020
always gratitude
gratitude always
I have so very much to be grateful for... today and always. It has been a weird few weeks/months chasing down some questions from my doctors... and today was a day for answers.
I continue to learn so much in this life... and this challenge has been no different. I learned that the antidote for frustration is appreciation. I am so very lucky to live in NYC and have access to brilliant and kind doctors and nurses at Memorial Sloane Kettering. My kids and my baby daddy and my love are strong and supportive and brave and keep me grounded and optimistic.
I can barely put into words how very loved and supported I feel from my family and community. SoulCycle has been my home for nearly 14 years and I am humbled by the goodness of every person I cross paths with in class, in studios and at our HQ. I am quite literally blessed and I am so thankful for every note and prayer and expression of love.
Next steps:
*The doctors found a rare form of cancer in my small intestine. Not easy to diagnose... but the docs kept digging and now we know.
*I am scheduled for surgery next Wednesday on 1/22/20 to remove the tumor and resection my small intestine.
*I will have a badass vertical scar down the middle of my belly.
*I will spend 4-5 nights in the hospital and can be back on a bike in 6-8 weeks.
*Not sure about any follow up treatment once I recover from surgery... so I will continue to take it one step at a time.
*I’m a lover and a fighter and I got this!
Pray with me by seeing me as I want to be seen. Mama. Healthy. Happy. Thriving. Vibrant. Strong. Lover of life.
No wine after tonight until surgery... so cheers to you all. 🍷🍷
Love is real.
Good things happen.
We will be ok.
xo m
01/01/2020
time to flex! 2020 vision means clarity. I am now. Awake and alive. mama. In love. I am here and here I come. blessings on blessings on blessings.
11/23/2019
just a girl and her dog. &alive photocreds:
09/16/2019
mantras work for me. to stay calm. to stay focused. to visualize. poetry for life. about a year ago I saw these keychains on Instagram. so simple, but what I needed to hear and say. good things happen. love is real. we will be okay. and today, the boy who became a man who became an artist who became an author came to speak at SoulCycle as a kick off for the instructor Legend Retreat. it feels good to laugh with people you love. thank you Adam for saying it and doing it and putting it out there for us all. we ♥️ you!!! and now we head to Lake George @ SoulCycle West Village
06/25/2019
June 25, 2009. What a decade it has been!! Ready for more. 📸:
06/03/2019
PSA: This Friday at 4pm WVLG. Let’s ride together on behalf of Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America. It is National Gun Violence Awareness Day. Kelly is a sister to me. She and I spent the day together in CT, not far from Sandy Hook Elementary School - where a devastating shooting took place in 2012. A stay-at-home mom founded Moms Demand Action to work with legislators, corporations, and educational institutions to establish common sense gun reform. Kelly and I will lead the ride together. There will be live performances and protest songs. We will be wearing orange. Come and join us in demanding action to keep our children and all of us safe from unnecessary gun violence. LINK IN BIO. + special guest. @ SoulCycle West Village
What a day to celebrate motherhood... The greatest joy of my life....
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