Keeley Byrnes- Mental Performance Coach

Starting in August, Im going to be hosting some online groups. My vision is to continue to incorporate what I've learned in therapy, life coaching, and 17 years of softball coaching into athletics. While Ill be hosting, it will be very interactive and we will all be learning from each other.

Group 1: coaches (any sport) looking to lead better.

Group 2: parents of athletes or parents who homeschool.

We will be covering: how to handle conflict, emotional regulation, and handling coach burnout.

What else are people struggling with and would like help with? Comment below or PM me!

Webinar attendees:

A link for the Zoom was sent to your email.

See you at 7pm!

I'm doing another free webinar this Saturday! If you cannot attend but would still like the recording, sign up and I will email it to you once the event is done.

This is open to anyone. Although this topic will center mainly around sports teams, I think it is applicable to just about any group. Coaches, parents, business leaders, and kids are welcome to join!

Sign up here:

Webinar Registration: Conflict Within Teams Please click the link to complete this form.

What if the problem is just that you're calling it a problem?

So often I have clients come to me and say "I don't know what's going on. I can't pitch or hit well. It's a problem."

We will spend time on mechanics and look at stats and video. (Usually the stats are nowhere near as bad as they think.) They look great. Then they get into the game, don't perform, and we're back to "I can't get out of this. It's becoming a problem."

What if there is no problem? Or slump? When we tell our brain a story, our mind believes it and sets out to prove its true. Then our body reacts. And it sets off a feedback loop. The brain says "there is a problem". The body says "Yep there is." The brain feels those sensations in the body and says "oh my God there's a problem. " Then anxiety sets in and we go into fight or flight (or freeze). The nervous system is firing and takes over, making critical thinking difficult. And then we wonder why our athletes can't just "be positive" or "let it go".

The answer is emotional regulation training, somatic healing, healthy processing of emotions, and mindfulness so we don't create false stories.

Maybe there isn't a problem. Maybe a bad game doesn't mean anything more than a bad game. Events don't always have to "mean" something. And they certainly don't have to mean anything about who we are as people. ESPECIALLY when it comes to your performance on the field/court.

Love and light,
Keeley
💕 ⚽️⚾️🥎🏀🏐💕

One way we can help our athletes through performance anxiety on the field or court is to truly understand what is going on with them and their brain. From there, we can employ somatic solutions, reframing, and even just support.

In a recent webinar, a student of mine helps me demonstrate an exercise to help you understand your players (or children) better. This has helped me while coaching teams or with private students

Have a listen: https://youtu.be/khGs0rbfUnA?si=cu_963rLl9hA8yC3

If you'd like to book an intro session with me for mental performance training (athlete OR coach), see my calendar here: www.keeleybyrnes.com

Fear Exercise Every athlete experiences fear. As a coach, how can you make sure that your athletes are performing at their best without letting fear take over? Here is one...

We are facing a mental health crisis in this country and it is hitting youth sports hard. Athletes are suffering. Coaches and umpires are quitting. Parents are frustrated.

In my 15 years of coaching youth sports I've struggled with:

Burnout, frustration, anxiety about the team and my career path
Handling my emotions during competitions
Learning how to handle team conflicts
Figuring out how to emotionally support my athletes (especially in today's world)
Fears/doubts that I might have to give up coaching due to constant pressure and challenges
Balancing the team's emotions with my own self care.

What if I told you there was an answer? And it doesn't have much to do with reading self help books, taking a bubble bath, and doing some meditation... Coaches and athletes need real and tangible tools they can sink their teeth into. We need true healing on the deepest level.

If only the “stop beating up on yourself”, “think positive”, and “just let it go” talks worked. If only the team would get along and not have any “drama”. If only your athletes reading books about confidence and positive thoughts worked. We don't need another band aid. We need REAL change. We need DEEP and POWERFUL inner work that can serve as a compass to guide us.

According to Internal Family Systems theory, we are multifaceted people. Have you ever thought "part of me wants pizza tonight but part of me wants Chinese food" ? Or "part of me wants to keep coaching but part of me is burn out"? How can both things be true? What are these "parts"? We say these things intuitively without understanding the deeper meaning.

There are three main categories of parts: Self, Exiles, and Protectors. Through my own work and training, I have used IFS to get to know these parts, figure out what they want/are needing, and to get to know my entire self better. Being able to live in an integrated state helps me feel more regulated and allows me to live and coach softball from an "adult place" instead of a wounded and emotional place. The biggest piece is listening to my protector parts.

There are these “protector” parts in all of us. These protector parts are useful but sometimes misguided. For example, if I deep down feel inadequate, not only will I equate my performance on the field/court with who I am, but if I am coaching, I may be frustrated with my athletes when they don’t perform. This protector part may cause me to act out, protecting my ego/ inner self to not feel the shame of losing a game.

When you are a coach, you are on a stage just as much as the players. Handling that pressure is difficult- especially while emotionally triggered and trying to make sense of what is happening.

Let me show you what I've learned through IFS and other modalities aimed at healing the actual issue. Schedule a free 15 minute call with me. Start the journey of your healing today!

Keeley Byrnes- Sports Performance Coach

Welcome! Thanks for being here. If you're checking out my page, I am assuming you are either a youth sports coach or an athlete looking for help. I am a life coach with years of experience in coaching youth sports.

Youth sports are a beautiful thing. They teach discipline, resilience, hard work, and many other life lessons. Like all youth coaches, we do this because we love the game and we love our athletes.

I have been playing sports since I was 5 years old. My entire life has revolved around being an athlete. After 2 years of college softball, I hurt my shoulder and stopped playing. I started head coaching youth softball at 20 years old. (spoiler alert: I was not always at my best- especially being emotionally stable, present, handling conflict, and juggling all of my responsibilities). Losing my identity as an athlete led me down a dark road of depression, anxiety, and addiction.

Through over a decade in sobriety, years of therapy, attending/running personal growth workshops (for adults and youth), and being trained as a life coach, I have learned and developed some techniques that are indispensable when coaching youth or college sports.

Times are different now. No longer do the “old school” techniques of running for punishment, screaming at athletes, or threats/intimidation work. (I would argue they never really “worked”, but I digress.) And while many people are discussing mental health in youth sports, there are limited resources and tools as to how to do this. If only the “stop beating up on yourself”, “think positive”, and “just let it go” talks worked. If only the team would get along and not have any “drama”. If only your athletes reading books about confidence and positive thoughts worked.

The truth is, there are other factors at play that most people don’t know about.

There are “protector” parts in all of us. These protector parts are useful but sometimes misguided. For example, if I deep down feel inadequate, not only will I equate my performance on the field/court with who I am, but if I am coaching, I may take it out on my athletes when they don’t perform. When you are a coach, you are on a stage just as much as the players. Handling that pressure is difficult- especially while emotionally triggered and trying to make sense of what is happening.

We see the world through what Alfred Adler calls “subjective perception”. We don’t see the world as it is. We see the world as we are. Understanding these factors helped me get to know myself and heal. (I’m still a work in progress- just like all of us.) Let me show you what I've learned to help you transform your personal struggles with coaching as well as how to help your athletes improve their mental game.

While I can’t take credit for the invention of IFS, Imago, and other techniques I’ve learned in therapy, I can show you some of the mental exercises I have created. My goal is to integrate therapeutic and personal growth tactics into sports.

Do you ever wonder why your players trigger you so much? Do you have a hard time when a player leaves your team? Is feedback from parents difficult to hear? Are you struggling with motivating your athletes, pushing them but also being a positive and trauma informed coach? Is your self care and mental health falling to the wayside?

Let me give you the tools to heal, to improve the mental performance of yourself and your athletes, and help you to fall back in love with the reason you decided to start coaching in the first place.

Who I work with:
Youth or college sports coaches needing tools for their athletes and a safe place to discuss the stresses of coaching

Those needing to work through the trauma of their own past with sports including:
Body image issues
The loss of function of their body
Shame and regret
Grief over missing out in other areas of your life due to prioritizing sports or coaching

Recent college athletes transitioning into “life after college athletics”

Coaches on the verge of quitting their profession due to burnout, emotional fatigue, and feeling either unworthy or unappreciated.

Athletes aged 12+ needing additional skills to improve their performance

If you are ready to get the support you need and to change your life, schedule a free 15 minute call with me.

Some notes:

I am a life coach- not a therapist. My goal is to help you achieve your goals and live your best life. I will not be diagnosing any medical conditions. I will not be giving any legal, medical, or financial advice. I will refer you to someone who can help if these issues come up.

When working with athletes under 18, all sessions will be recorded, all material will be presented in a youth appropriate way.