Julianna Lyddon, MC, owner of Connect With Julianna, is a Certified Life Coach with a Masters Degree in Marriage, Family, and Child Counseling; Author; Radio Host; Guest Speaker; Spiritual Advisor; and Teacher.
Julianna earned her bachelor degree at the University of Kansas and her master degree at the University of Phoenix. This formal training provided her with the education, background, and skills to work as a professional counselor, but she knew there were many other ways to help individuals enhance their quality of life. In 2000, with this vision in mind, she founded her company, Connect With Julian
Just wrapped a 12 News series on parenting with Tram Mai. All about the biggest mistakes parents make when talking to their kids👍🏼
Conversational TV today with these two amazing women😀Talked about school anxiety and offered tips for parents.
Does your child have school anxiety? Tomorrow I will be on NBC Arizona Midday giving helpful tips for parents ✔️
[02/26/18] My next TV segment is open for discussion. We want your ideas, as parents, what do you struggle with most frequently?
Connect With Julianna's cover photo
Connect With Julianna
Connect With Julianna's cover photo
What is going on? My TV segment this month was all about discipline and why parents are not following through with this. I see it all the time in my practice. Teens are saying the most disrespectful things to their parents and they actually get away with it!! Why do parents allow this to happen...many reasons.
1. "I feel guilty"...many parents are divorced and struggle to find time with their kids and this leads to wanting as much quality time as they can with them and they don't want to spend it reprimanding them. Others are concerned their child is already stressed enough with school etc. and they don't want to add to it by disciplining.
2. "My kid may not like me and I want to be their friend so they share everything with me"...many parents think being their child's friend is the answer because they are scared of losing their child's connection.
3. "I'm too tired to discipline"...it's hard after a long day of work to follow through with consequences. Parents don't want to deal with the fight when they are tired and even frustrated.
I have witnessed such disrespect from kids to parents, it's actually mind blowing. If we don't follow through and remember that we are parents first and foremost, before friends, we are crippling our children! This starts when they are babies. Teaching your child to self soothe at a young age is the beginning of helping them to trust themselves to calm. This is hard because parents get in the early habit of rescuing their child. As they get older, don't always give in to their whim or desire. Take the time to teach the lesson of right and wrong and why a consequence is necessary and follow through. It's not a bad thing to say no and to set boundaries. Children actually thrive in environments where rules are established and they know the boundaries. Just remember, the longer you wait to establish these rules and guidelines, the harder it will be to change the pattern of disrespect.
I used to share stories about my intuitive readings with clients quite often. I've been so busy over the last year that I haven't had as much time to put them out there. I'm trying to make the time again because I feel it's so powerful to share stories that inspire and encourage growth and introspection. After all, it's why I do the work I do...:)
He came in to see me. He was young, about 15 and was feeling very stressed and anxious. This boy is very sensitive and gifted, as well. Side bar: many, including the medical and mental health communities, don't understand what "sensitive" truly means. I'm actually getting a bit exhausted about this fact. We put people in a box and label them and diagnose them to death. When I used to do traditional counseling you had to have a diagnosis by the time the person left your office after only one visit...ya one visit! Are you kidding me? People's lives are rich and multifaceted...often they are in your office because they are falling apart and if they are falling apart, it doesn't always mean that they need a label. Sometimes it's our environment, our situation, our upbringing or even an awakening and on and on that contributes to the break and if we are forced to create a label in such a short amount of time, what do you think that does to the psyche? People break, fall apart and even want to die at times and that doesn't mean we necessarily need a diagnosis (of course there are situations that deem this and after more lengthy intakes, etc. that's often necessary, but this is not what I'm talking about). Granted, they may not be privy to the diagnosis, but that doesn't matter...we can't always fit people into the DSM (diagnostic statistical manual). They don't always fit in the nice clean box we want them to be in...I simply don't like it and that is one reason I don't work in that box anymore:) I get the "why" of why it's done, but what often happens is it creates a limiting belief if the person feels conflicted with a diagnosis. It can be the label that follows them and before you know it, they believe it and BECOME it even more...as if they can't escape it because it's been decided and it must certainly be the truth, right?
I see it over and over and over. People come into my office and begin by telling me what their diagnosis is and why. I listen and then pause and say...what if I told you that I don't care about your diagnosis? I often say...let's pretend it doesn't exist...what do you think is wrong with you? And this opens a big beautiful door into more self discovery. People KNOW what's typically wrong and what they need on a deeper, higher self, kinda way.
Back to the boy...he was indeed gifted in a spiritual way. He had nobody to talk to because he was scared he wouldn't be believed. There are more and more sensitive people being born today and these individuals are extremely gifted. They have abilities that are not understood by everyone because it is not our norm in our society and so therefore, they are often mislabeled or misdiagnosed. If your child or teen tells you they see spirits or have night terrors or sleep paralysis or even more types of unbelievable ideas or situations, be careful labeling it. Listen and seek out someone who believes them and encourages them to sift through it all. With the right support, these children can grow into self actualized, sensitive healers and guides for others who have these gifts. When these sensitive people are misdiagnosed that is when they truly fit the mold because they get depressed and anxious and conflicted within. And often the next step is to medicate, which does not always end up being the best for the sensitive person.
Just because you can't see it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. I welcome these souls and know they are here on our planet to help us all heal. I always reframe it for them by saying....I believe your real problem is that you're gifted and nobody knows quite how to help you with your gifts...I bet nobody put it quite like that:) The smiles are mind blowing...ahhhhh now we can begin the real work!
Did you think marriage would be easy? Nobody tells you the real truth.
What if before you walked down the aisle, your mother or grandmother told you what it would really be like, would you go through with it?
I work with many couples in person and over Skype and I say it all the time..."marriage is work.....you get what you give!" If you don't want to do your share of the work, then it's not for you. Often, newly married couples come to me saying they think something is wrong because it shouldn't be this hard. I have to let them know that it may not be this hard all the time, but that there will be times that test your patience and sometimes your values. Longevity in a marriage is not super common these days and to get there is a journey filled with truth, courage, grace and lots of introspection.
I am pro marriage and I believe it is a beautiful bond that has the opportunity to become a truly sacred experience. We live in a drive through world and often couples forget or aren't used to actually putting their loved one first, at times. They get wrapped up in "me, myself and I" and it takes a new mindset to encourage the thought that it actually takes two to create a fun, happy partnership. Thinking outside ourselves is part of the key. I said to a couple last week...."behave the way you want to be treated." This created an ah-ha moment that I hope will permeate. I remind myself, in my 30 year marriage, that I need to do the same.
The slow bleed is what I call it. This creeps up on the best of couples. We sail along and don't check in enough with each other to take a pulse of what's happening beneath the surface. This slow bleed can be hemorrhaging within the relationship and the couple remains oblivious....until....the crisis hits. The crisis can be an affair, unhappiness, feeling numb to your partner or even a change in behavior that deeply effects the marriage. Part of the slow bleed is also related to a denial of sorts. A way to not address what is really wrong and as time goes by, it gets worse. I see my couples during this phase and depending on the length of the bleed, it sets everyone up for lots of changes and serious work to repair the wounds.
I suggest taking the time at least once a year to have a candid discussion about where you are in the marriage. This should be authentic and honest. Create a short list of questions you want to address.
1. How would you rate your happiness in our marriage on a scale of 1-10.
2. If you could change one behavior of mine, what would it be?
3. Share your memory of the last time you felt we had real fun together?
4. What do you see as the biggest issue I have with you in our marriage?
5. If you could change one behavior to improve our marriage, what would it be?
6. Rate our s*x life on a scale of 1-10 and what is one thing we could do to improve it?
7. Do you feel adored in our marriage?
8. What does happiness in a marriage look like to you?
This is a great place to start. Each year, you can check in and add your own questions. When things get off balance and either the questions can't be answered or they stir disagreements, that's a sign that you may need some extra support or guidance to mend any issues before they fester.
Those that have been married happily for years have had many trials they have endured. When things get tough, you have a choice....learn from the pain/trials and embrace each other through it or isolate and allow the pain/trials to engulf you and sever the bond. You always have a choice...the question is....do you have the courage to do the work that is truly needed to deepen the relationship and repair the slow bleed?
Are you growing as a person?
Here are a few challenges for your imagination. Each month, come up with one new creative challenge for yourself. This could be a new craft, a new visualization you want to bring into your reality, a dance you want to learn, or a game to play that challenges your imaginative brain power. If you regularly challenge yourself, you will continue to stretch, expand, and grow as a person. Add your new challenges to your calendar, get your family and friends involved, and have fun!
This is writing from a prompt, such as a single word (dog, leaf, ice cream) for ten minutes or another pre-determined length of time. Write your idea down on paper and then just write without stopping, revising, editing, or back tracking--even if it means having to write, “I can’t think of anything to write.” The goal of this exercise is to deviate from typical thought patterns and use your mind in a more intuitive way. You never know what will happen. Give it a try in the spaces below.
“Imagination Affirmations” are daily reminders to keep you on track. Write or cut out the following affirmations (or create your own) and place them in a baggie, a box, or a jar. Each day, pull one out to read aloud several times. This is a way to keep you on track and KEEP THE CREATIVE GENIUS ALIVE!
I am using my creative genius!
I open my imagination to healing!
I play in my imagination to create fun in my life!
I AM the source of my power!
I AM constantly creating my reality with my thoughts!
I express my creativity through my words!
I IMAGINE my future easily!
I let go of any unnecessary control that is holding me back!
I break through the blocks that hide the REAL ME!
I am authentic to myself and to others!
I control my destiny and that feels good!
I choose to love unconditionally!
I am happy and joyful!
I fantasize about how beautiful my life can be!
I am FREE!
I LOVE myself!
I imagine myself as a complete person in all aspects of my life!
Life is beautiful!
I am smart!
I am using my creativity to make my life more powerful and unique!
To continue this process and for the complete workbook which includes 14 exercises to assist you in “Tapping Into Your Imagination,” sign up for our newsletter mailing list by clicking here and entering your name and email address. We will send the workbook to you as a free gift!
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HOW DO WE BEGIN TO EMPOWER OURSELVES SEXUALLY?
Eliminate the work and stress from s*x:
1. Communication. It is very important to communicate with your partner in a gentle, non-threatening manner. Always approach s*xual topics with an open mind and an open heart.
Questions to discuss with your partner:
How would you describe the type of communication you have with your partner?
Do you feel comfortable sharing intimate feelings and ideas with your partner?
Do you communicate during an argument or does it escalate to the point of no return?
How do you end up resolving a conflict–through passive-aggressive means until it fades away or are you comfortable talking about how to resolve the issue at hand?
Do you feel like you can share your s*xual fantasies with your partner?
Do you know how to communicate with your partner in a loving, compassionate way?
Read the complete article by clicking the link in the comments below.
Are you making a transition that you need help with?
Are you in a job or phase of your like that doesn’t feel fulfilling? Are you a new college graduate and uncertain what direction to take next? Do you often wonder what your purpose is in life, but not sure how to discover it or even where to begin? If so, this coaching program is for you.
Whether you are graduating from college and entering the real world or considering a career change, the transition can be stressful and filled with unknowns that leave you unsure and confused about how to make the transition. The Transition Coaching program will arm you with the tools and confidence you need to embark on your new journey with a renewed sense of confidence, purpose, and commitment.
Availability is not limited by location. The program is available one-on-one in person or via Skype worldwide.
THE FOUR-SESSIONS COACHING PROGRAM INCLUDES:
• Discovering Life’s Purpose
• Finding Your Passion
• Enhancing Personal Power
• Writing Your Personal Mission Statement
• Prioritizing and Identifying Tangible Goals
• Heightening Mindfulness
• Letting Go of Negative Talk
• Manifesting Dreams
Contact Julianna Lyddon directly to schedule your transition coaching program by emailing her at [email protected].
A Connect With Julianna Program
Julianna Lyddon, MC
4 Steps to Handling Negative Emotions
Emotions are the names we give our feelings. Good emotions such as happiness and joy are easy to feel and understand. People have trouble processing negative emotions such as anger, jealousy and grief. Negative emotions are more complicated and scary, but they also lead us to examine what is lying underneath the feeling.
Parents have the opportunity to teach children that negative emotions are not necessarily bad because they hold valuable lessons about our experiences. For example, we often react with anger when our children are angry. Instead, we need to allow children to recognize what the anger is attached to, feel its depth, identify how it can be transformed and then learn to release it from their mind and body.
Here is a simple exercise even very young children can be led through in order to process and release negative emotions. This exercise can be modified depending upon the age of the child. It is also very productive for adults. By using this four-step process, you can teach your children how to handle even the most difficult emotions.
The first step in dealing with a negative emotion is to STOP . Don’t say a word. Stand still. Look into your child’s face, even if they are screaming or crying. Connect your eyes with their eyes. Recognize that the negative emotion is a problem, but use the moment to demonstrate your awareness. It is up to you to recognize when your child is being carried away by an emotion.
Step two is to IDENTIFY the emotion, whether it is anger, jealousy, pain, etc. This is where you give it a name. Say, “I can see that you feel really angry.” You confirm their anger and are present with them in their emotion.
Step three is to FEEL . Encourage your child to fully experience the emotion. If they are angry or sad, ask them if they feel like crying. Have them tell you what the emotion feels like and where it lives in their body. Young children are so in tune–they love this exercise. This typically leads to a great conversation about exploring feelings, where they live in the body and how they make them feel.
The fourth step is to RELEASE , and this is the fun part. Once your child has made a connection with the emotion, where it lives in the body and what it feels like, then they get to let it go! Ask your child how they would enjoy releasing the anger or what physical type of movement would they prefer? Many children want to stomp around the room or yard, some want to hit a punching bag, others like to run and scream at the same time. When first learning how to deal with negative emotions, especially for younger children, it’s important that they fully connect with the process.
These steps can be used at any time after the negative emotion has surfaced. But if an emotional situation gets out of control with the child and you cannot communicate, do not get upset. Allow it to pass. Once the child is calm, verbally walk him or her through the steps. Know you have this tool to find some closure.
It is always possible to revisit any past negative emotional problem and work through it until some healing arrives. Just be sure that you have the time, space and desire to do so.
As your child gets older, there are more age appropriate ways to release these emotions such as participating in a safe physical activity like hitting a pillow, going for a hike or a run or writing in a journal.
If you take the time to work through this process, children will know how to make an appropriate release on their own as they mature.
If you find that as an adult, you are holding onto the effects of past negative emotions of your own, healing is still possible. Know that your past unresolved hurt might still have a hold on you and influence the way you are able to parent. It is never to late to process emotions. Take care of yourself in this way first so you are better able to take care of your child. Please review the Adverse Childhood Experiences information on page 65 of the book Raising a Happy Spirit.
This four step plan will create an adult who acts mature, responsible and in control of his or her feelings. They will be better at conflict resolution techniques. Children who process their emotions won’t shy away from their feelings but will own them and make decisions that lead to good solutions.
Finally, it is important to know that the emotion should not rule the resolution. This means avoiding these two outcomes:
��Bargaining, as when you say, “If you stop crying I will give you candy.” ��Letting uncontrolled negative emotions rule everyday behavior and become a way of life.
Fully recognizing, celebrating and processing our full range of emotions in an honest, safe and forthright way deepens the human experience. It puts everyone– children and parents alike–more in touch with their spiritual selves.
Click here to purchase the ebook, Raising a Happy Spirit: The Inner Wisdom of Parenting, or contact Julianna Lyddon directly at connectwithjulianna.com.
Connect with Julianna
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