Big dog Fitness

solitude is not the absence of company, but a momentary
complement…

the assumptive term "victim mentality" has to go. it's just another way that a repressive culture shames and shuns woundedness… when I grew up it was: "don't be a cry-baby," and
"leave the past behind you”… yes, it is true that you can become imprisoned inside of your woundedness. but the term "victim mentality" suggests otherwise. it suggests that a choice is being made to remain affixed to your wounds, and how can you know that from the outside? you can't… you can certainly make that statement about yourself, but you can't make it about anyone else,… you’re not inside of their memories… for all i know, they carry more memories than you could ever imagine,… perhaps they are the bravest and most hopeful person you have ever encountered… be careful when you talk about someone's "victim mentality." you may be talking about someone who has achieved a greater victory than you…

taking responsibility for your own actions is the quality of being able to see things very clearly, responsibility is gentleness, and goes along with not judging, not calling things right or wrong, good or bad, but looking gently at yourself… i think.

i think, maybe, you just need to surrender more to who you are, surrender sweetly…

it’s time to make a change. f**k it therapy is effective, convenient, and affordable way to get help with all your issues. get help with stress, anxiety, depression, relationships, career issues, self-esteem, and many other life challenges...

you know so much, but yet you are so utterly idiotically amazingly foolish, it's beyond my imagination...

it’s a shame to grow old, to never have benched 300lbs…

you can really appreciate alot about a person, when you share a meal together…

it's not my responsibility to make sure others are responsible.
it's not my job to rescue people from their drama.
it is okay if others get angry.
it's okay to say no.
it's not my job to think, feel, or live for others.
i have a right to feel my feelings no matter what anyone else feels about my feelings.
no one has to agree with me.
no one has a right to verbally abuse me, and that includes family, friends, partners and coworkers.
it's not okay to enmesh with my thoughts, emotions, or other people.
it's okay to spend time alone without explaining myself.
i do not need permission to be who i am, think what i think, nor to honor me.
other people have every right to not like me or disagree with me, but they do not have the right to disrespect me. i have a right to end draining conversations and relationships.
i know I am enough.

the fundamentals of staying focused…

have the courage to be disliked…

i will gladly risk it all, for what i see, and only me…

i think people pleasing is a self protective pattern,… if you keep them happy, they won't turn on you,... but it comes at a terribly high price,… because in your fixation with keeping others happy, you undermine your own happiness,… In your desire to placate others, you deny yourself,… perhaps it's time for a new way,… please others, when it truly pleases you… i think.

being hopeful in bad times is foolish romantics,… based on fact that human history is a history of courage, sacrifice, and choice… baby james marin.

there’s music in silence… i think.

“your reputation and bad behavior is safe, i’m not going to tell my side”…

in my everyday, i have had to identify with character,… the big tough guy on the side of right,… that’s me,… save me from your nuances,.. all i do is sell sincerity and i’ve been selling the hell out of that ever since i was born…

it is important for every person to be sufficiently present to himself in order to hear and follow the voice of his conscience…

silence, shouldn’t be the safest.

at some point on the journey, you may reach a point where you want to ease the throttle of transformation.
not where you stop growing, but where you stop utilizing your will to effect personal change. you're still growthful, but it's different… it's gentler, and more about accepting what is, than changing it. you reach a place where you are more embracing of who you are, and of how far you have come, and you feel ready to work with what you've got. it's important to notice this moment, if it arrives. because there is a real peace in that tender self-acceptance. and, ironically, it may ignite the most profound change of all…

"miserable hours pass like years,… my eyes are greater than me,… somehow my eyes inject into my mind what it wants of me,… i become a servant to my eyes,… feeding and watering my eyes at intervals”…

by itself,… intelligence will not have much impact on your physical health, but when it is combined with compassion and warm-heartedness, it brings peace of mind and improves your physical well-being…

Jolly and the bigdog…

"Psychological flexibility is the ability to feel and think with openness, to attend voluntarily to your experience of the present moment, and to move your life in directions that are important to you, building habits that allow you to live life in accordance with your values and aspirations. It's about learning not to turn away from what is painful, instead turning toward your suffering in order to live a life full of meaning and purpose."
-Steven C. Hayes, PhD

"what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!"… really?…
yet another experience avoidant survivalist cliché that is intended to keep you looking for the bright side when you are down on the ground, bleeding from a knife wound… sure, sure, sometimes, your experiences can make you stronger, kind of like the way that heat hardens steel… and sometimes they can f**k you up good,.. destroy your will,… and debilitate your capacity to trust...

"if you can see another person's behavior as a reflection of themselves,… rather, than a statement about your value, over time you will cease to react at all”…

i can’t find my glasses…

high performance adult attentive deficit disorder in high definition…

mothers day is the most riches, most deepest experience day in my life...
i don't want to celebrate mother's day... just to feel some kind of obligation, to show some annual display of gratitude where I have to grit my teeth and endure… just to be ambushed by my mothers expectations, this is more the reason i don't want to celebrate mother's day, it's a huge lie about the valve of women, where mother's are a superior being, feeling that they have done more with their lives and chosen a more difficult path... hmmmmm… every woman's path is difficult, and i say this with out judgment it is sadly true, this illusion that mother's are automatically happier, and more full filled and complete, it perpetuates the dangerous idea that all mother's are some how more superior than non mother's… i don't like the way this holiday makes all non mother's, and the daughters of dead mother's, and the mother's of dead children feel the deepest kind of grief and failure, and that non mother's are excluded from this holiday that benefits no one... another not so happy mother’s day with out you again… and it goes with out saying I don't like valentines day either...

“thinking differently” is learning to see differently… “Seeing differently” is a way of countering our built-in tendency to habituate, to sink in to the familiar way of seeing and experiencing… i think.

pay attention... single pointed high frequency, high acuity, profound stable attention... etcetera, etcetera, etcetera...

i understand why roosters just scream to start their day…

the throat can swallow any food, yet some foods are more agreeable than others; as the palate tests meat by its savor, so does a keen mind insincere words.

let neither son nor wife, neither brother nor friend, have power over you as long as you live.