The Backyard Buddha

I’ve been silently hating myself recently which has created feelings of frustration, hopelessness and depression.

It has prevented me not only from feeling good but also creating content I’m in love with.

It’s been stealing my peace and causing me to feel like giving up on my business altogether.

After exploring my thoughts I realized it had to do with perfectionism.

I was waking up every day looking at the milestones and big goals I have for my business and saying:

“Oh, you haven’t hit those yet? You should just give up then because you’re obviously a fu***ng loser.”

These thoughts were being created because my standards were unreasonable.

I didn’t know I was setting my standard for success too high.

I didn’t have that awareness.

Once I realized that was happening—I laughed and chose a new standard I could be happy with.

Such as…

1. Supporting myself emotionally daily.
2. Working through my trauma and emotional blocks.
3. Sharing what I can on social media.
4. Feeding my mind wisdom via 📚
5. Taking care of my health.
6. Making good choices that protect future Dante.

As long as I’m doing this every day then I’m going to keep growing and my content will get better.

That will take me to those milestones and big goals.

So the takeaway from this post is this:

1. Make your standard something you can achieve daily that empowers you.

2. Understand the power of exploring your thoughts because if you let them go unchecked they will cause untold chaos and suffering simply because you don’t understand why you’re doing what you’re doing.

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Codependents are masters at lying to themselves because they’re masters at abandoning themselves.

Every morning this is my routine:

-Don’t check notifications for an hour.
-Meditate for 5 - 10 minutes.
-Transmute limiting perspectives.
-Journal and focus my energy.
-Create and share content.

Do you know how often I want to do this routine right when I wake up?

Never.

Every day I want to check my messages.
I want to get up and start talking to people.
I want to jump up and do something impulsive.
I want to get lost in the external world.

Anything to get away from myself.

Anything to get away from my feelings.

I don’t like being with myself.

Because I don’t like myself.

So I’m addicted to escaping myself.

Like an alcoholic is addicted to drinking alcohol.

The last thing I want to do when I wake up is take care of myself emotionally.

Which is why I do it without exceptions.

It’s a non-negotiable for me now.

Because I’ve seen what happens when I neglect myself and it’s not pretty.

My entire being is strained with anxiety and tension.

I’m a people pleasing mess.

I’m anxiously waiting for others to give me approval, attention and good energy.

I’m stressed and worried over how to get accomplishments like money so I can finally be happy.

I’m a slave to anything that gives intense pleasure or stimulation like s*x, w**d or video games 🎮

I’m highly irritable because I lack emotional stability.

I’m disconnected from my purpose and most importantly…

I’m disconnected from my own happiness.

I’m honestly not even alive in that state.

I’m just slowly wasting away.

A distracted, dissociated shell of a Human being whose greatest pleasure in life is numbing their own existence.

Passive $uicide.

My experience of life became dramatically better once I decided to stop settling for that pathetic existence.

Because I deserve better.

I deserve to feel better.

I deserve to be happy.

I’ve been through so much hardship and pain.

And I’m done waiting for life to make me happy.

I’m going to actively choose to be happy.

Which means discovering tangible ways to support my emotions and heal my trauma:

-Therapy
-Shadow Work
-Belief Work
-Inner Child Healing
-Journaling
-Meditation
-Affirmations
-Hiring Coaches
-Reading Books
-Listening to Podcasts
-Joining Supportive Communities

The right knowledge + action = transformation.

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America 🇺🇸 is great again 🙌🏻

Anything you do with the intention of getting them to like, value and respect you again…

Simply digs a deeper hole for yourself.

You’re sad this person left because you miss how you felt when you were around them.

That feeling is beautiful.

Your desperation to pursue someone who doesn’t respect or value you anymore is not.

It’s rotting your self-esteem.

Flooding your nervous system with anxiety.

Making you second guess everything.

You need to let this relationship die.

Just like Tyler Durden said in Fight Club:

“Only after you’ve lost everything are you free to do anything.”

Let this delusional toxic fantasy of getting this person back die.

Then start focusing on becoming a healthier, hotter version of yourself.

Not only will you attract new partners that deeply value and respect you…

But you will also make that other person crave your attention again.

Somewhere along the way you started valuing their companionship over your passions.

Your vision.
Your interests.

You became attached to their attention.

Their smile.
Their laugh.

Until you became totally enmeshed.

Completely losing yourself in their being.

This act of “losing yourself” is romanticized in Hollywood movies 🍿

But in reality?

That s**t fu***ng sucks.

Being desperate, anxious and insecure is awful

That’s why I created this guide to help you stop putting people on a pedestal.

And instead put yourself up there 😉

Check it out 👇🏻

https://stan.store/TheBackyardBuddha/p/the-codependency-survival-guide

Take that energy you’re investing into attachment and invest in security.

Real connections with people who love and respect you won’t feel anxious or intense.

They’ll feel ✨calm✨ and 🕊️peaceful🕊️

You won’t have to fight to be understood.
You won’t have to prove your value.
You won’t have to over explain.

You’ll feel safe and secure.
You’ll feel seen and appreciated.
You’ll feel totally enough as you are.

This doesn’t mean your relationships will get boring!!

Quite the opposite in fact.

Because when you’re in a healthy relationship…

You will feel relief communicating because you know your significant other wants to lovingly resolve this as much as you do.

You’re free from the “walking on eggshells” feeling you used to get around emotionally immature avoidant/narcissistic partners.

You’re emotionally free to express and be exactly who you are and be celebrated for it.

This “calm love” isn’t attractive if you’re still playing out the pattern of running from your feelings instead of supporting them.

When we’re escaping our feelings they manifest as familiar unconscious attractions.

This means you will continue to be attracted to people who make you feel anxious.

Until you start supporting that anxiety with healthy tools, strategies and mindset shifts.

I created a guide specifically to help you learn how to support your emotions.

It contains everything I learned in my 10+ year journey healing my codependency and people pleasing behavior.

You can pick your copy up here 👇🏻

https://stan.store/TheBackyardBuddha

Don’t you hate that gnawing sensation you get when you meet someone and immediately want to spend every second with them?

They are SO attractive.

They are SO interesting.

This intensity is called “limerence” and it’s a state of unhealthy obsession we get as codependents.

It stems from actually needing YOUR OWN attention.

It’s massively off putting to the other person.

They sense all this desperation and neediness radiating from you which screams RED FLAG 🚩

It makes them want to quietly excuse themselves to the bathroom then never return 😂😂

One way you can get rid of your vampiric🧛‍♀️ hunger for attention is by journaling 📝

Spend more time in the energy of appreciation ✨

Make lists of things you love or love doing ✍🏻

“I love the smell of rain 🌧️”
“I love eating keto yoghurt.”
“I love the idea of watching a movie 🍿 tonight.”

“The more you look for positive aspects in your current life, the more positive aspects will step forward to reveal themselves to you.”



When you make it a practice to fill your emotional cup on a daily basis you’ll find neediness and desperation both start to fade.

All the energy you spend pouring into everybody else gets poured into yourself which boosts self-esteem.

It raises your vibration.

When you’re in the energy of love for long enough it “charges” your emotional battery 🔋

This unlocks your personality so you can be more social, creative and generally in a great mood 👌🏻

You suddenly feel so good that you don’t need anything from anyone anymore.

You’re laughing.

You’re talking to people.

You’re acting on your inspired impulses.

Synchronicities are abundant 11:11.

You’re having fun.

But it starts with caring about how you feel 🫵🏻

You have to put in the work by focusing and journaling.

You need to take that time to ❤️ yourself.

To fill your emotional tank ⛽️

To make those energetic deposits 💰

I made you a guide showing you step by step how to use journaling to fill your emotional cup and break the toxic cycle of limerence.

Pick it up here…

👇🏻

https://stan.store/TheBackyardBuddha

Being a leader isn’t just about pushing people towards a better outcome or reality.

It’s also making the process of getting there as fun as humanely possible 👌🏻

I don’t lead with a whip nor do I admire anyone who does.

Facebook isn’t feeling fun to make content for so if you want to engage with me check the other platforms I’m on 👇🏻

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