A Shade of Difference Coaching

Have you ever felt like your life has been turned sideways? This wasn't the life you dreamed of, the life you planned. How can you get it turned around? Upright, the ways it's "supposed" to be. Take a look in nature. The answer is all around you. Trust in God, aa He knows your path. He is there when life seems to be going right. And when you've fallen, trust that He knows how to bring beauty and growth where you lay.

Your identity was developed upon your birth, that of Child of God / Boy, Girl.

You play various roles in life which form the titles by which you will be called “Son / Daughter, Brother / Sister, Nephew / Niece, Friend, Student, Graduate, Co-worker / Boss, Athlete / Artist / Engineer / Musician / and the like, Boyfriend / Girlfriend, Groom / Bride. Husband / Wife, Uncle / Aunt, Father / Mother (Father-in-law / Mother-in-law), Grandparent, Great-grandparent, etc.“ Some of these titles will stay with you throughout your entire life. Others will not.

You fell in love, became engaged, and wed. During your wedding you repeated your vows (often including the “‘til death us do part” language). Quite likely, you promptly forgot about the part of those vows that said ‘til death us do part as you were busy living the “happily ever after” part.

Upon marriage you assumed your newest title of wife or husband. This became your main title for as long as you were married and had intentions of living happily ever after.

Unfortunately, "ever after" is not forever.

You added another title to the many previous and ongoing titles in your life: that of Widow/Widower

The new title sucks. It hurts. It feels all encompassing.

However, You are still you with your original identity. The one who grew, who adapted to all the new titles that came your way, depending upon what role you were cast to play. You are still the same person who got through life before marriage; only now are you wiser, smarter, and more experienced. You are still the one who lived, loved, laughed, cried, struggled, succeeded, and more. The original you has always been there, deep at the root of every other role you have ever held. Don’t lose that person in the role you currently have.

The role you play does not change WHO you are. Find that person and know you will be okay.

Yep, I jumped on the AI bandwagon. It's fun! Life should be fun.

Whatever life is throwing your way, everyday choose joy!

Today, at 6pm CDT, I'm hosting my latest free webinar, Self-Love Isn't Selfish: A New Way to Thrive. Registration is still available, but closing soon.

Self-Love Isn't Selfish: A New Way to Thrive, Mon, Jul 28, 2025, 6:00 PM | Meetup * Do you often feel misunderstood or emotionally drained? * Struggle to say no, set boundaries, or put your needs first? * Feel directionless, like something important is m

Gratitude. We hear this word all the time. Do you actually practice gratitude? We all have something for which we can be grateful. What's one thing for you?

Starting in Less Than 3 Hours - 6:30 PM CDT / 7:30 PM EDT
Check your time zone @ https://www.worldtimebuddy.com/

Widowed? Feeling lost, stuck, or overwhelmed? You are not alone.

After losing a spouse or partner, it’s easy to lose your sense of self. Daily life can feel impossible. Coping may turn into overeating, overdrinking, or trying to numb the pain.

But there is hope. You can live a life you love again.

Join me tonight at 7:30 PM EDT for a free webinar:
Rediscovering Self-Love After Loss: A Healing Journey for the Widowed 💜

We’ll explore:
✅ The signs of self-love depletion in widowhood
✅ The challenges that keep you stuck
✅ Steps to help you feel normal again
✅ Tools and encouragement for moving forward
✅ The hope and joy that lies ahead

All are welcome — widows, widowers, recently bereaved or years along this path.

👉 RSVP now (see first comment) to reserve your spot and receive your link.
Give yourself this gift of healing. You are worth it. 💜

Widowed? Feeling lost, stuck, or overwhelmed? You are not alone.

After losing a spouse or partner, it’s easy to lose your sense of self. Daily life can feel impossible. Coping may turn into overeating, overdrinking, or trying to numb the pain.

But there is hope. You can live a life you love again.

Join me tonight at 7:30 PM EDT for a free webinar:
Rediscovering Self-Love After Loss: A Healing Journey for the Widowed 💜

We’ll explore:
✅ The signs of self-love depletion in widowhood
✅ The challenges that keep you stuck
✅ Steps to help you feel normal again
✅ Tools and encouragement for moving forward
✅ The hope and joy that lies ahead

All are welcome — widows, widowers, recently bereaved or years along this path.

👉 RSVP now (see first comment) to reserve your spot and receive your link.
Give yourself this gift of healing. You are worth it. 💜

Do you struggle with self-esteem, negative self-talk, self-neglect?
Do you often find you lack energy, suffer with guilt, or have emotional avoidance?
Do you wonder about your identity; who am I without my partner?

Whether you've recently lost your life partner or it's been a while, this webinar is for you.

Offering a supportive space to reconnect with your inner self and take steps toward emotional renewal, this webinar will help you discover:

What Self-love is and isn't: Understand the true nature of self-love and how it differs from guilt, selfishness, or denial of grief.

Why Self-love Feels Especially Difficult After Loss: Explore the unique emotional barriers widowed individuals face, and how to move through them with compassion.

How Lack of Self-Love Shows Up: Identify subtle signs of self-neglect, self-judgment, or emotional avoidance in your daily life.

The Healing Power of Self-Love: Learn how small acts of self-love can begin to shift your grief journey and support your emotional well-being. And how self-love can positively affect your family.

A New Path Forward: Gain insight into a simple, sustainable self-love practice that fits into your life--even in the midst of loss.

Are you ready to feel seen, supported and more connected to yourself than you've felt in a long time?

Join us on Monday, 9 June at 6:30 PM CDT (https://www.meetup.com/the-art-of-self-love-houston-meetup/events/308110387/?utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=share-btn_savedevents_share_modal&utm_source=link&utm_version=v2) and

Give yourself the gift of self-love and healing that you so deserve. Your journey begins here.

Respectfully, Colleen Shade, Certified Widow Coach, A Shade of Difference Coaching (widowed 9/16/17)

While speaking to a group of widows and widowers the other day, I discovered that they had a commonality of lacking self-love. Join us on Monday, 9 June for a complimentary webinar as I address the subject of self-love as it applies to widowhood.

Rediscovering Self-Love After Loss: A Healing Journey for the Widowed, Mon, Jun 9, 2025, 7:30 PM | Meetup Losing a life partner is an experience like no other and it changes everything. Please accept my condolences on your loss. Amid the waves of grief, identity shifts and emo

The 5 Stages of Grief

Did you know that the Kubler-Ross "Five Stages of Grief" were not written about the grieving process you experience when you lose your spouse or another close to you, or that they don't automatically follow in sequence.

Kubler-Ross wrote about the stages of grief a person experiences when they have been told that they are terminally ill. It is about loss of self, not loss of another.

And yet, as we all know, they equally apply when we face the loss of our spouse, or other close loved one.

1. Denial - whether your own illness or another's illness or death
2. Anger - why me? Why them (as well as why me)?
3. Bargaining - let me have longer, (Let this just be a bad dream) I'll do X, Y, Z ...
4. Depression - withdrawal, hiding away, etc.
5. Acceptance - the terminally ill person comes to terms with the fact that they are dying and only have so much time left. The widowed, is finally able to accept the fact that their loved one is gone and not returning and that they need to continue to live their life.

Where are you in this process? Do you feel you followed them in numerical order as you grieve/grieved?

May 3, 2025 - National Widow's Day. If you know someone who has become widowed (no matter how recently or how long ago), check in with them and let them know they matter.

National Widow's Day is not a day of celebration. However, as a widow/er you can celebrate that you were loved, that you were married. Not everyone gets that chance. You can feel honored that he/she spent his/her life with you.

It's important to hold on to what you had, cherish the memories, the love. However, it's just as important to release the pain, to not hold on to it. When the pain is gone, the memories are still there, the love is still there. And in place of the pain is freedom. You can breathe. You can go on living.

Learn to practice being in the moment. That's all we're guaranteed anyway. Regret and worry only take more away and haven't we lost enough already.

Send a message to learn more