Clarissa Harford, 𝘎𝘰𝘥𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘖𝘯 𝘍𝘪𝘳𝘦

Happy Mother’s Day. 💛

To the moms showing up every single day. To the rainbow moms carrying babies in their hearts instead of their arms. To the moms who have lost children and still find a way to keep going. To the women who mother everyone around them even without children of their own. To the single moms doing it all with no backup plan and no days off.

Every woman who values life and creation deserves to be celebrated today.

The world needs all of us.
In every form motherhood takes. 🔥💛

*But to all the women who think life is disposable… fck you.

Women over define everything that could be wrong — our trauma, our relationships, our finances, our life and use them as the reasons to stay stuck.

Or thinking it’s progression when it’s going extremely backwards.

This is keeping women exactly where they don’t want to be.

Stuck in an endless cycle of anger, sadness, despair.

The loudest rebellion is almost never about power. It’s about pain that never got dealt with. Inherited wounds women claim as a personality and insecurity that found an audience that validates the erratic behavior.

Women are constantly keeping each other stuck because they’re afraid if others heal they’ll get left behind.

But real power isn’t fueled by competition with anyone else. Real independence doesn’t need a circle of enablers validating every bad decision.

Real strength is quiet, grounded, and accountable.

But if keep finding new labels, new enemies, new explanations for why life isn’t working — stagnancy in a world that changes around us.

The rebellion isn’t moving anyone forward. It’s just giving women a reason to stay exactly where they are and call it a “choice”.

It’s weakness.

What actually changes everything is two things.

Real support — people who tell you the truth instead of nodding along. And a system — a real process for building the life you actually want.

I was speaking to one of my business students today and part of our conversation was about women and the circles they keep.

Because there are two kinds. The circle that encourages you to keep going in your toxic patterns — validates the ratchet behavior, co-signs the bad decisions, nods along while you destroy yourself and calls it support. And then there’s the circle that actually tells you the truth even when it’s uncomfortable.

I get a lot of heat online from women who expect me to be a girls-girl. Who want me to enable and encourage behavior that is keeping women stuck, bitter, and broken — and smile while I do it. That’s not me. That has never been me.

What women actually need is honesty. Not validation. Not a group chat full of people agreeing that everything is someone else’s fault. Real honesty from women who have actually done the work on themselves.

I know because I craved it my whole life and rarely found it. The women who actually moved me forward were the ones willing to say the hard thing. Not the ones who told me what I wanted to hear.

All women crave the truth, they crave real support. Most just won’t admit it because the circle they’re in has made comfort more acceptable than growth.

And god-forbid we get exiled from a group that’s no good for us… that would just be terrible. 🫠

Self-reflection is the most powerful thing a woman can do.

We have all been overwhelmed with information, social pressure, and immature peers. And somewhere in that chaos, real feminine wisdom got lost.

One of my business students — let’s call her a professional trad wife — is the auntie with the wisdom every woman needs. Just knowing her over the last few years has helped me collapse into the woman I’ve always been but didn’t quite know how to be when I was younger.

The woman with self-love and respect. Restraint. Discernment. A woman who can let her guard down because she knows when she is safe.

I didn’t have the best examples growing up.
Not many women around me showed me what maturity, accountability, and real femininity looked like.

And that’s what so many of us have suffered from.
What we got was inherited wounds and lack of strength disguised as stubbornness. We got “wisdom” trapped in stagnant anger and defense.

The lack of maturity I see in women today tells me there is a much deeper issue at play. And we can’t keep pointing at men for it.

Women are the biggest influence behind this erratic rebellion and hatred toward men.

Men are some of the greatest teachers we have. My best friend is a man. And because I refused to let social influence turn me into someone who hates men — I found him.

There is nothing like having a good, supportive man in your life.

All women crave it. But they let their defenses rob them of it.

And there is nothing like knowing women who value men.

Who have self-respect. Who didn’t let the noise turn them bitter. Who choose themselves without degrading men. Who know how to choose good men.

There is a call for women to come back to balance so we can break this illusion of suffering and create a new reality.

Women don’t end up with the wrong man by accident.

They end up with the man they’re willing to accept.

There are patterns. And we can’t keep blaming men for patterns that we continue to choose.

Women are so much more capable than what they’re willing to pursue. But there’s this rhetoric that it’s always a man’s fault why they’re suffering.

I have no sympathy for women who choose to stay a victim.

Yes, maybe you were victimized by others. But that doesn’t excuse your unwillingness to change your reality.