Joan.W.Mwangi - Life Coach

𝑻𝒐𝒅𝒂𝒚 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝒅𝒂𝒚 𝒐𝒇 𝑴𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒍 𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒕𝒉 𝑨𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝑴𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒉.

This picture is dear to me. It represents 3 generations of first borns at I Am Africa Nairobi back in 2023. A true testament that healing happens in community.

𝑭𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝑩𝒐𝒓𝒏 𝑫𝒂𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒈𝒂𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰 𝒂𝒎 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒔𝒂𝒚 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒖𝒔.

You were the rehearsal child and the role model at the same time.

You raised yourself a little so your siblings could be children.

You learned to read a room before you learned to read a book.

Somewhere along the way, “she’s so strong” became the most best yet expensive compliment you’ve ever received.

There is a paradox no one warns you about: the stronger you appear, the less anyone thinks to check on you. The more you carry, the more they hand you.

You become the family’s safety net and nets are never asked how they feel.
So you keep going.
You send the money.
You make the calls.
You hold it all together even when you are thousands of miles away with your own personal obligations.

The exhaustion creeps in.
The guilt of choosing yourself becomes crippling.
The resentment becomes your default setting.
True joy is something you imagine but rarely give yourself permission to experience.

None of that means you’re failing. It means you’ve been pouring from a cup that is rarely refilled.
You are allowed to be held too. You are allowed to rest without earning it. You are allowed to be a daughter — not just a provider.

𝑯𝑬𝑹 𝑹𝒊𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 is a space where we can go back evaluate why a part of you was set aside so everyone else could be okay even when you are not okay. It will be a safe space for you to focus on you and give yourself permission to be tired, to be joyful, to be vulnerable, to be creative, to be YOU without the pressure that comes titles, degrees, and accomplishments.

Tag a first-born daughter who needs to read this today.

📸- Suki(my niece), Me, my mom, SublimeFlow Jacinta, Ciku(my cousin), Njoki(my cousin)

Looking for a healing space? Check out HER Rising membership here:
https://www.sublimeflow.com/herrising

𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗮 𝗽𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝘄𝗲𝗯𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗿 𝗼𝗻 𝗙𝗲𝗺𝗮𝗹𝗲 𝗙𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽𝘀!

Women are wired to be relational beings who thrive in connection.

Female friendships done right, are deeply nourishing.

However, when not done right, they revive unresolved issues that are sometimes older than the friendship itself.

Sunday’s webinar on female friendships was powerful and engaging.

We explored the power and the beauty of healthy friendship.

We also delicately explored the grief, the emotional labor, the enmeshment, and the nagging ache many of us carry as a result of “friendship issues.”

Often, it is not just about the friend. It’s about older wounds, learned survival patterns, wounded feminine energy.
It’s about the longing to belong, feel safe, and deeply connected.

SublimeFlow Jacinta and I also announced our new sisterhood community, 𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠.

A sacred circle for women who are ready to ascend.

It’s for the woman who is ready for more inner calm, deeper groundedness, and a more emotionally anchored way of being.

For the woman that longs to be boundaried and discerning about who is allowed into her inner world.

The woman who wants to become magnetic without becoming passive.

The woman who wants to stop over-giving to feel chosen, she who desires to stop abandoning herself in order to belong, she who wants to have genuine connections.

If you are the woman who dreams about living a life of ease 𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 is for you.

The doors are now open at a special Founding Members rate.

And women who join now will also receive access to 2 private masterclasses before the official launch:

✨𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐅𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞
𝘏𝘰𝑤 𝘵𝘰 𝘔𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘗𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘞𝘩𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘍𝘰𝘳𝘤𝘦

✨ 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐀𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐲
𝘏𝘰𝑤 𝘵𝘰 𝘚𝘵𝑎𝘺 𝘎𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝑎 𝘛𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘨𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘞𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥.

If you know this work is for you, check out HER Rising membership here,

https://www.sublimeflow.com/herrising

Sunday’s replay has been emailed out.

If you didn’t get a chance to register, comment REPLAY below and we’ll send it to you 👇🏾

𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐢𝐭.

Real sisterhood isn't glamorous every day. It's the 2am call that gets answered when there is a death in the family.

She doesn't need you to be polished. She doesn't need you to have it all together.
She knows you're not one thing! You are a mother and a professional and a dreamer and a wounded healer….someone still figuring it out. She holds all of that with grace.

That's the friendship that changes you.
The kind that celebrates your career wins like they're her own.
That shows up for the baby shower, the graduation, the launch day, the quiet Thursday when you just need someone to see you.
That doesn't shrink your joy or weaponize your vulnerability.

We were never meant to do this life alone. We were built for community for the kind of sisterhood that mirrors our worth back to us when we forget it.

If you have that friend honor her. 🫶🏾🫶🏾
If you're being that friend thank you.🙏🏾
And if you're still searching for her she exists. And you deserve her. 🤎🤎

💛 Tag the sister who has weathered every season with you.

🤎Join SublimeFlow Jacinta and I in a delicate yet insightful conversation about
𝐅𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐅𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬:
𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐒𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐍𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐈𝐭 𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐬
May 24th | 12:00 pm EST / 7:00 pm EAT

Register here:
https://sublimeflow.com/femalefriendships

📸 Me and my sister friend Ngunjiri


®

𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐰𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐞𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝?

Not the ones that flood your feed.
Not the loudest or most visible ones.
The ones that just… hold you.

These are the friends who:
✨Check in without needing a reason
✨Tell you the truth because they love you, not to judge you
✨Let you be a mess without making you feel like one
✨Show up in the small, ordinary moments
✨Stay, even when you’re hard to love

𝐐𝐮𝐢𝐞𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭.

A voice note here.
A “thinking of you” there.
A conversation that picks up right where it left off, no explanation needed.

These friendships are doing something deep: they are teaching us what it feels like to be safe with another person.

And for those of us who grew up learning that love comes with conditions….that is everything.

💬 Tell me in the comments about your quiet friendship.What makes it special to you?

Don’t forget to join SublimeFlow Jacinta and I as we discuss this delicate topic on female friendships.

Register for the 𝐅𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐅𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬: 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐒𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐍𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐈𝐭 𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐬 webinar here👇🏾

https://sublimeflow.com/femalefriendships

📸 me and my sister friend Torie Mosha Henderson

This day is not a single feeling type of day. It holds joy and grief, gratitude and longing, love that is uncomplicated and love that is layered with pain.

✨For those celebrating a mother who has been your safe place…𝐈 𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 🙌🏾

✨For those grieving a mother lost, a mother never known, or a mother who couldn’t show up the way you needed…𝐈 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐬𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮.🫶🏾

✨For those in the tender, exhausting, beautiful work of mothering, biological, chosen, or otherwise…. 𝐈 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 💕

✨For those still learning how to mother themselves, and those whose journey to motherhood has been marked by struggle or longing …𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 💕

You don’t have to perform happiness today. And you don’t have to sit in your pain alone.

Whatever this day brings up for you, there is room for it here. All of it. This is what community is for.

Happy Mother’s Day. 🤎💕

📸-Me & Mama

There is sacred warmth and safety in female friendships where reciprocity in all areas of life is mutual.

I look at friendship using an analogy I heard on one of Tyler Perry’s movies.

Think of your friendships as trees. I like the Oak Tree.

𝐑𝐨𝐨𝐭𝐬- these friends are there through thick and thin. They are strong through every season of life.

𝐁𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐬 -These friends are strong but not through all seasons. They might break away when the winds are too strong.

𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐬- these friends are what Johnny Gill called fair weather friends. They will be there for the good times.

None of these friends are bad friends. We just assign the wrong strength to the wrong friend.

If you are curious to learn more about how to nurture your friendships, why some friendships seem to be so exhausting, why you seem to be the only one reaching out and checking on everyone but no one takes time to check on you 🧐

Join SublimeFlow Jacinta and I in a delicate yet insightful conversation about

𝐅𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐅𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬:
𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐒𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐍𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐈𝐭 𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐬
May 24th | 12:00 pm EST / 7:00 pm EAT

Register here:
https://sublimeflow.com/femalefriendships

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑨𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒏/𝑩𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝑴𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓.

There are so many running jokes about the African/Black mother. Many jokes are light hearted, funny and often true.

One thing that we rarely put an emphasis on is why the 𝑩𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝑴𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 is the way she is.

Behaviors like self-sacrificing, people-pleasing, care taker, always busy, never resting, always yelling, 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆𝒔 violent with words- she will care for you as she curses you out! She is many times the village or neighborhood savior.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 is a deep emotional wound created by your mother’s behaviors towards you.

This Sunday May 3rd SublimeFlow Jacinta
and I are offering a free Masterclass for women on the Mother wound and how to heal it.

Visit https://www.sublimeflow.com/motherwound to secure your spot.

Invite a friend. Let’s learn and heal together.

Free Masterclass on 𝐔𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝

In the past 5 years I have had the privilege of coaching 100’s of women and one of the most common issues that comes up is the Mother Wound.

With Mother’s Day around the corner there is no better time to talk about this wound carried by many women.

Before I understood inter-generational trauma and the mother wound, I could not fathom how anyone would go no contact with their mother, but with training and better understanding, I have come to understand the complexities surrounding mother-daughter relationships and how an adult daughter of an emotionally immature or toxic mother experiences herself and others.

The Black Mother Wound is rooted in the lack of autonomy based on systemic oppression where systems like patriarchy, colonialism, slavery and racism contribute to the devaluation of a black woman.

Mother’s Day For some, the day brings flowers, celebratory brunches, and gratitude while for others, it stirs grief, guilt, longing, resentment, and the ache of a relationship that never existed or felt easy.

This Sunday, my fellow Coach SublimeFlow Jacinta and I are offering a safe space for black women to learn and understand the Mother Wound. If this conversation feels like one you’ve needed, come sit in the room with us. We will hold it with gentleness, honesty, and compassion.

𝐔𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝, Sunday 𝐌𝐚𝐲 𝟑𝐫𝐝
𝟏𝟐:𝟎𝟎 𝐩𝐦 𝐄𝐒𝐓 / 𝟕:𝟎𝟎 𝐩𝐦 𝐄𝐀𝐓

Registration info in comments.

And please do me a favor, tag a few friends 🙏🏾🥰.

📸-My mom with me and my sister.

Some religious wounding is insidious. As a teenager I went to see this play at a local church. I had nightmares for months after that because the devil in the play and the idea of burning in hell for eternity was so real in my young mind.

My pre-frontal cortex was not mature and I did not have the discernment to logically process the message in the play. Looking back, the play was intended to get people to have a relationship with God as a personal savior.

For me, it created a fear that lasted years. Fear that my relationship with God was not good enough, fear that I would wake up in the morning and my family would be gone to heaven and I would be left behind, fear that I would get into a car accident and everyone would go to heaven and I would go to hell. I couldn’t sleep through the night for a really long time due to the compounded fear.

This is not a burden a child or young person should carry. I spent my high school years feeling shame for normal human things because of the religious doctrines that I was exposed to without a space for open dialogue to discuss questions, feelings, and fears. Religion is NOT bad. However, religion that does not allow children to ask questions, religion that is punitive and dismissive of reality is harmful.

If you have ever felt wounded, silenced, confused, or disconnected in a faith or religious space, my friend SublimeFlow Jacinta and I are offering a safe space for women to learn, deconstruct and start the healing process from Religious Trauma.

This is NOT a place to attack religion or individuals. It is a space for compassionate inquiry.

When: Sunday, April 26
12:00 PM EST / 7:00 PM EAT
Where: Zoom

If this sounds like something that would be helpful to you… Claim your spot here 👇🏾

sublimeflow.com/churchtrauma

𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐒𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐁𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐔𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐮𝐦𝐚

I vividly remember the shock I felt in my body when someone I knew in my late teens/early 20’s was told to go back to her husband, pray and be a better wife by her mother and aunties after she found her husband with a man in a hotel room because it had to be her fault that he was doing this.

Being openly gay was not an option in his family, religion and country! So he married her because it was the right thing to do. She was gorgeous, from a good family and also very naive.

Her family and religious leaders “helped” her with ideas on how to keep the man happy!

Her friends suggested that she run away to a far place. This was in the early 90’s when the HIV pandemic was prevalent. Needless to say, the man contracted HIV, she too contracted the virus and both ended up dead.

For many women, religious culture did not just teach prayer, patience, forgiveness, and wholesome living.

It also taught:
Self abandonment
Unhealthy endurance
Overriding intuition
self-erasure in the name of humility

And for countless others, the very place they ran to for comfort became the place where abuse, shame, fear, coercion, and spiritual gaslighting took place.

If you have ever felt wounded, silenced, confused, or disconnected in a faith or religious space, my friend SublimeFlow Jacinta and I are offering a safe space for women to learn, deconstruct and start the healing process from Religious Trauma.

This is NOT a place to attack religion or individuals. It is a space for compassionate inquiry.

When: Sunday, April 26
12:00 PM EST / 7:00 PM EAT
Where: Zoom

If this sounds like something that would be helpful…

Claim your spot here 👇🏾

sublimeflow.com/churchtrauma