Karin Cather Editorial Services LLC

When designing aliens, it’s important to imagine their concept of socially appropriate personal space.

What is the brocha before reading the Terms of Service?

In my past life, I was two gametes.

My complete list of New Year’s resolutions just dropped:

1. Eat no insects.

2. Give up durian.

3. Refrain from wearing spike heels.

.. kind of like adding things to your to-do list that you've already done in order to cross them off.

A Million Monkeys

HIS BODY WAS in the whirlpool tub in the master bathroom.

Eliza had just finished listening to a recording of the 911 call on her way to the scene. Kelly Chatworth told the dispatcher that her husband, Glenn Sommars, had been shot. The dispatcher told Kelly to shelter in place. Kelly had had the hollow, shaky voice of a person inches from full-on panic.

When Eliza arrived, one of the patrol officers at the scene told Eliza that Glenn Sommars was fifty-eight years old and a software engineering manager for a major airline, and Kelly Chatworth was fifty years old and a stay-at-home mom. Neither had criminal histories.

Eliza went to speak with Kelly, who was sitting in a police cruiser. “I’m Detective Eliza Benveniste. I’m so, so sorry for your loss.”

Kelly had been crying hard. “They didn’t stay long,” she said.

“Who didn’t stay long?”

“The paramedics. I lost it a little at first. I asked the paramedics why they weren’t doing anything. I’d just finished telling the dispatcher what I saw," and she covered her eyes, then rubbed them. "Then I said to them, 'I'm sorry' at the same time one of them said, 'There's nothing we can do.' Then they asked me if they could call anyone for me. Only there's no one to call."

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I am an excellent editor, and I wrote a novel that I was brave enough to publish.

However.

I took a photo of a javelina who got stuck on our side of the gated* parking lot.

I promise I will never charge money to take photos.

———————
*Gated” means the javelinas can’t find their way out no matter how many times you remotely open the gate for them, but criminals can just piggyback in.

What can an editor do for you? We can protect you from unintentional obscenity.

Two different people used the phrase "I just shot my wad for the day," thinking it meant they were tired. They did not know the true meaning.

A good editor is a walking Urban Dictionary.

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When preparing Klingon food, please remember that serpent worms are not the same as tapeworms.

There was a diplomatic incident. Everyone involved has been fired. Lt. Kevin Riley has been demoted, as Klingons do not like ice cream.

Victorian menus be all like:

Celery
Green turtle soup
Right whale steaks
Endangered fish terrines
Parakeet fritters
Plover eyeballs
Roast beef
Diplomat cake
Nuts
Ice cream with brain sauce

And they haven’t even gotten to the main course yet.

You can tell a person’s age by how many vials they need when you get bloodwork.

There’s a modern kind of superhero. They read the clickbait article and posts the upshot so no one has to click on the clickbait.