Scarred Hearts

09/16/2026

My name is Sondra Dover, mother of Angie, grandmother of Jay and mother-in-law to John Cook.
On July 21st, 2021, in the blink of an eye…my first born Angie, my first grandson Jay, and my son-in-law John, were gone. Three senseless, violent murders took my precious family. Shock and disbelief.
Then a few weeks later, we learn that it was their youngest son that carried out these evil acts.
Shock, nightmares, sleepless nights, not eating…total disbelief. My anger and rage were something I could not control.
I wanted so much to see and hold my family . My world spiraled out of control.
I would drive over to , what was my family’s home, and just sit there and scream out to God…Why, Why God???…
I could smell my daughter’s perfume in her car.
I didn’t sleep for over two years, and when I finally was so exhausted, I would sleep for awhile only to have horrible nightmares…hoping that they all went quickly, and that they felt no pain in that horrible moment.
I finally went to a therapist. For over 3 years , every Wednesday, and tried to make some sense of it and how I would keep moving forward. She informed me that due to the violent and horrible things that happened, I had PTSD.
I had vivid nightmares of things that I could not get out of my head.
I miss and love them so much.
Angie never met a stranger, she was on top of this world. She was happy. Loved her family so much. Always had a book in her hand.
Jay, a mild mannered young man who loved to hunt and fish. He was a great person.
John was a 20 year Navy veteran who worked hard and taught his sons how to fish, hunt, how to have a nice garden, to build things… a good family man.
Then, this evil devil took his own Mother’s, Father’s and Brother’s life in the most horrible ways.
Yes, I am still standing, but barely. I hear some people say that I should be over this, by now and move forward. Not a day goes by, without thinking of them and missing them. My heart will hold them forever.
The reality of grief is far different from what others may see.
You stand there and smile and talk to people, while inside my heart, there is a scream.
As far as I can see, it will never truly end. It may become softer over time, more gentle, but my grief will last as long as my love does…Forever.
The days will all be brighter because they existed. The nights are longer and darker because they are gone. I have lived through the unimaginable…the loss of my daughter and her sweet son and her husband.

To Angie, John and Jay…y’all will never be forgotten.
And justice finally happened here on earth. I’m not sure what God has waiting for him, but vengeance is mine, says the Lord.
ANGIE, JOHN and JAY💔💔💔
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This Thursday, Sept 17, from 6pm-8pm, our group of parents meet up at Lake Mountain Coffee Statesville. Food will be provided. This is a chance for us to be around other parents that have lost a child, or in this case so much more.
It’s not structured counseling, it’s just a gathering of fellow parents that understand one another.
If you, or anyone you know, have lost a child, this is your invitation.
Please bring a photo or framed picture of your kiddo to hang on “Bailey’s Wall”.
And never ever take your kids for granted. Get off your phone. Make memories. Say the “I love you” ’s. Grab those hugs.
Thanks everyone.

08/29/2026

From a dad:

On a whim, like the throw of the dice, I just finished watching the movie, “Ordinary Angels” on Netflix.
I had no idea what it was about or the plot it was based on. It’s about a strong dad, living a difficult situation after his young wife died.
Without getting all into the movie, I want to say I had to pause it about 7 times to reflect on my own story with my son and his illness. Too much was familiar.
Had I known the movie would go down this rabbit hole, I would have quickly chosen another.
You’ve been warned, but it ends well.

What I want to request to other parents, like me, reading these words, is this:

What did your child say that, so vividly, sticks in your mind? You can hear their words, still today.
I’ll go first:

1. Father’s Day weekend 2015, I look in the rear view mirror and see him staring out the right rear cab window of my truck, going up I-77 to Wilkesboro. “Hey pal, whatcha thinking about?”
Him after brushing me of 3x:
“My death, ok?”

2. Him, to all of us, a month before he passed away forever: “Here’s the rule I’m making for all of you. You are only allowed to cry 3 mins per day. No more.”
Those two, are at the top of my memories of his voice.

Your turn. Please.
Comment what your kids said.

08/20/2026

There is something I’ve learned in these years of being a bereaved parent: we don’t need our children to be forgotten. We need them to be remembered. We need people to know that they were here, that they mattered, that they were loved, and that their lives made a difference.

My son, Talon, was an amazing 11-year-old boy. He was funny, loving, kind-hearted, and he simply loved being a boy. He loved anything with wheels, but nothing more than his Yamaha dirt bikes. If Talon was riding, you could almost guarantee he was covered head to toe in Yamaha gear. That was my boy. 💙

My whole world was devastated the day after Christmas in 2021. Losing Talon changed me forever. For more than four years, I lived in a place of deep depression and grief. I tried to carry it all by myself, and eventually I realized I couldn’t do it alone.

Someone recently shared a story with me that has stayed in my heart. Her sister had passed away, and someone asked her mother how she could possibly go on living without her daughter. Her answer was simple:

“I have to be here. I have to honor her.”

Those words changed something inside of me.

I finally understand why God left me here when He took my child. I am not here because losing Talon was something I was supposed to “get over.” I am here because I have a son to honor.

And I’ve learned something else that I think is so important for those who love and support bereaved parents: please don’t be afraid to talk about our children. Ask us about them. Say their names. Ask what they were like, what they loved, what made them laugh.

We WANT to talk about them.

Sometimes people stay silent because they are afraid they will remind us of our pain. The truth is, we never forget our children. We are already thinking about them. Hearing their name doesn’t create the pain—it reminds us that someone else remembers them too. And that means more than you may ever know.

Bereaved parents also have to lean on each other. There is something incredibly powerful about sitting in a room with other parents who don’t need an explanation. They just get it. They understand the empty chair, the holidays that feel different, the milestones our children should have reached, and the ache that never completely goes away.

That is why we get together once a month. Scarred Hearts has gotten me through some really rough days. Being able to talk, listen, cry, laugh, remember, and simply be around people who understand has helped me more than I can put into words.

We meet every third Thursday from 6–8 PM at Lake Mountain Coffee in Statesville. This is not structured therapy. It is simply a place for bereaved parents to come together and talk with other parents who understand what you are going through.

If you have lost a child, or if you know someone who has, please join us. You don’t have to know what to say. You don’t have to be “okay.” You can simply show up.

And if you’re worried that talking about your child will make us uncomfortable, please know this:

We would love to talk about your child.

Tell us their name. Tell us what they loved. Tell us something funny about them. Tell us who they were.

Because our children mattered. Their lives mattered. And we want the world to remember them.

I will never stop missing my boy. I will never stop wishing he were here. But I can choose to live a life that honors the life he was given.

Talon mattered. His life mattered. He is loved. He is remembered. And as long as I am here, I will make sure his story continues. 💙
Much Love
Amy Dyson

08/14/2026

This is a FANTASTIC testimony from one of our parents and a view into experiencing child loss.
Great writing, Tera.

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1bjDxPDcsG/?mibextid=wwXIfr

So there has been questions about whether Christopher's cakes was helpful for me or if it made it worse so let me answer that for you.
Christopher died 18 years ago tomorrow. His precious eyes never opened on earth because of how early he was. So the only thing he ever saw was the faces of God and loved ones gone before him.
When he died I became a shell of the person I was. Though I have an older child. I became a horrible parent because of my grief. The bare minimum at times was more than I was capable of. That lasted literally for years.
I couldn't get through a holiday, literally any holiday without a melt down I had multiple panic and anxiety attacks a day for years. I cried constantly. I was diagnosed with severe depression.
I had one thing that I enjoyed baking him a birthday cake.
Seth encouraged me to find something to focus my grief into. And we tried so many different things, we tried kick ball, movies games and it always came back to cakes
One year for the first time I was going to be alone on Christopher's birthday and Seth and I spoke and I decided I would bake while he was gone. I made 8 cakes while I wept all day but I was up I was participating not dissolving into the sorrow. I felt like his mom for a moment on his birthday. I gave 7 cakes away because I don't even like cake. Idk if things got better that year. The next year 13 cakes and I was excited to see what I could do I still cried but the attacks were lessening through the year. The next year cupcakes. Idk how many 300 or something we decided to make cards and introduce people to Christopher which means they learned about Jesus too. Then holidays were the worst time but I did pretty good until mother's day and didn't get better til end of August. We continued each year we bake about 1500-2000 a year we opened it up for the community to be a part of his story to spread Jesus. And I'm no longer a shell of a person. I'm a momma a good momma to both my children. Finished in comments

07/15/2026

Most people have days, sometimes weeks that define a lifetime. Then, there are those of us who's lifetime IS one moment.
The moment.
Take a breath, brush your teeth, don't forget to eat... sounds routine, until it's not.

We all pray that no one else has to understand this, yet simultaneously the ones who do, are often a lifeline. We laugh together, we grieve together, we often navigate next steps together as a family of sorts.

This week has a couple of those moments.
Thursday, July 16th, Jay honors and remembers Nate's 17th birthday. I can't help but picture them sharing the road on their motorcycles as so many miles of open road have been shared in laughter and a father and sons love and admiration for one another. Those memories are a reminder that love transcends all ❤️

Saturday, is the 3rd anniversary of my son Eli’s departure day. I know the moment he left my arms. I’ll always see him behind the wheel of his Mustang, enjoying the sound of his engine with that unmistakable grin and old soul that made him who he was.

Two different dates. Two remarkable young men. Two families carrying an unimaginable loss with incredible strength.
One day marks the beginning of a life, the other marks the end of a life, but both are rooted in the same unconditional, undying love.
Please keep saying all of our kids’ names. Remember their stories and honor the lives they lived. They are deeply loved, greatly missed, and will never be forgotten by those that love them the most. ❤️

Please share for parents with the same story as us.
Join us for our group gathering on Thursday night from 6-8pm at Lake Mountain Coffee Statesville

06/22/2026

The father is supposed to be the cornerstone of a family. Thank you to the dads that try to be strong. The dads that put the needs of the family ahead of their own wellbeing, need a little grace today and lots of love. This goes out to all the dads that don’t get enough credit.
Let’s show our dads some appreciation today.
My dad, Santo, the first Scarred Heart dad I knew.

06/18/2026

Father’s Day 2026
A post written by David Huffman

What does Father’s Day 2026 mean to me? It means our house is one short. One short in body but not in spirit.
A lot has happened in the last few months since we lost Jacob. Football games, prom, yearbooks and graduation all happened without you in body but you were there in spirit in more ways than one.

What does this have to do with Father’s Day you may ask? We will still do those fun usual things we do on this day but we will be one short. How do we manage things? We manage with tears in our eyes but our heads held high knowing that you are in our hearts and minds. Father’s Day will be different for sure but your name will always be close in conversation.
Love Dad

Please join our Scarred Hearts family tonight from 6-8pm at Lake Mountain Coffee Statesville
We gather to survive together, and maybe one day thrive again.

05/21/2026

As we approach the 4 year anniversary of losing my son, stepdaughter, and fiancé, I’ve been thinking a lot about grief, healing, and the people who carry us through the hardest seasons of life.

What started as a small gathering has become something so much bigger — a group of friends who turned into family. Through the tears, hard anniversaries, laughter, silence, and all the moments in between, this group has been my rock since the very beginning. I honestly don’t know where I’d be without them.

We will be gathering tonight from 6–8 PM at Lake Mountain Coffee, and whether you’re grieving, struggling, needing connection, or simply looking for people who understand, you are welcome here.

Sometimes healing looks like coffee, conversation, and people who refuse to let you walk through life alone.

❤️

05/10/2026

Hard day for our moms.
We hope all our moms know they are loved, thought of, and we wish today passes by with lessened sadness and happy thoughts of your kids and your own mothers.

04/15/2026

What may seem small and insignificant, feels like an insurmountable hurdle. Every day task are arduous.
The toughest part of today is knowing I will wake up tomorrow on his birthday and watch the sunrise without him.
Do I celebrate his life or grieve his absence?
I see Eli in the clouds. I hear him in the Mustang. I felt him through March madness watching basketball highlights. I want to feel his hugs. How do I survive all the April 16th’s yet to come?
I treasure my Scarred Hearts family for guiding me through this phase of survival. I am thankful tomorrow night at 6, our group will meet at Lake Mountain Coffee Statesville. We will hang out some more over at D’Laney’s Sports Bar at 8.
I cherish my friends and family that made the choice to walk along beside me.