Ladies, I've noticed this happening a lot recently, have you?
I can speak about this because I've been here & I'm positive you can relate too.
Online, in-person, and at family events, girls & women are overexposing the sacred space of their bodies. But before you say, "it's my body I can do with it as I please," hear this.
Again, I was the queen of this! I owned the shortest shorts and always wore crop tops; anything revealing was my favorite.
But as I've matured over the years, I realize the WHY I dressed so openly. I often see it in girls/ women now, and I want to speak about the health of it.
I see it as a cycle that starts with a lack of love for one's self & a ego that's very protective of this lower version of it.
For example, a girl believes she's not being seen/heard/appreciated for how/who she is. So as she grows into a young woman, she observes how other women "do it." How they get attention, be heard & seen.
As this girl is growing into a young woman, she notices the women around her; on social media, in movies, at the grocery store, etc., don't wear a lot of clothes, or if they do, they're wearing tight pants that show every curve of their bums! They're extra flirty with any man or woman that speaks to them, and their body language is sensual, but there's something off about it.
She views women posting videos of themselves in bras with empowering quotes about their bodies on her social media; most of them are married with children.
She sees these women getting attention, being heard & SEEN. So she mimics these traits as she grows into a young woman. Then, finally, she starts to receive attention, and people listen to her and see her.
But as the years go on, she notices her people don't stay around for long. They want her for a little, and in all honesty, she doesn't have much to offer but her body which she believes is why they didn't stay longer. She should have been skinnier, prettier, sexier, etc.
Her ego is triggered to protect her fragile self. So, therefore, she reacts in hate and becomes cold towards others for mistreating her. Which feeds the cycle of her not loving herself & that toxic ego she's operating from.
Over time it seems her luck gets worse, and she becomes more confused about who she is. One facet of herself is on social media almost naked, and another part is on a different account selling homemade candles and preaching spirituality. It's hard for her to trust herself and her other girlfriends are just as untrustworthy; they, too, seek attention in those ways & will step on her if they have to.
Is this story familiar to you ladies? I can relate and wanted to write about it because I see young girls going down this path and mature married women still operating from here.
But what's so unhealthy about it? Some of you might say, I like being like this. THIS IS ME.
You might feel that way now, but when the time comes that you really want to be heard, seen, respected & loved for more than just your body, it'll be hard.
You'll have to start from the basics again, unlearn and re-train who you want to be. Second, people will judge you on your past; not only are you learning to trust yourself, but people will be skeptical of you too, which makes it doubly challenging to grow your self-esteem.
So how do you make your way out of this black hole and be a role model for other young ladies too? First, be mindful of WHY you dress, act, and overexpose of your sacred temple.
Is it for any attention you can get? Is it because you don't feel good about who you are?
Most of the time, this is the truth. We want attention because we don't feel good about how we act and only know of this superficial recognition we receive from others.
Start to read about healthy relationships, speak to a therapist specializing in self-esteem, and journal what you think is healthy and not healthy about yourself.
A few years ago, I wrote down a list of all the things I wasn't good at/ what I didn't like about myself, followed by a list of what I was good at and liked about myself. Then, a few months later, after I committed to focusing on myself in healthy ways, I could come back and check off all the ways I was growing & making progress!
I'm still working on it, and there are always new challenges, but how I feel about my body from the inside out is untouchable, authentic, and HEALTHY!
It's a really good thing for the Kendra I hold accountable today and who I want to be in the future, and for my family, friends, and business.
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Cheers to you today and the woman you'll be tomorrow,