Mind Your Being

I recently bought a few new outdoor chairs for an area of the yard I’ve been sprucing up.

At checkout, there was an option to pay someone a whopping $150 to put them together for me.

The chairs weren’t much more than that.

It made me laugh, but it also got me thinking.

It feels like more and more of life is being outsourced these days. Food delivery. Food prep. Grocery shopping. Laundry. Lawn care. House cleaning. Furniture assembly. Need something? There’s probably an app for it.

And to be clear, I’m not saying any of these things are wrong. There are absolutely times when outsourcing makes sense.

But I do wonder what we’re losing touch with.

Are we losing some of the satisfaction that comes from doing things ourselves? From learning a new skill, figuring something out, getting our hands dirty, caring for our belinhinhs, or simply stepping back and saying, “I accomplished that.”

A few weeks ago, my husband and I spread 100 bags of mulch around the yard. Could I have hired someone? Sure. Would it have been faster? Definitely.

But there was something rewarding about looking at it afterward knowing we had done it ourselves.

Maybe the goal isn’t always to save time. Maybe some things are worth doing simply because they connect us to our lives a little more. Maybe it’s time to insource a smidge more.

Curious… what do you think we’re gaining from all this convenience? And what might we be losing?

What’s the business equivalent of taking a medication that causes more side effects than the problem it was supposed to solve?

For me, it’s hiring a brilliant jerk.

You know the person. They’re smart. They get results. On paper, they look like a great hire.

But everywhere they go, they leave a trail of conflict, frustration, confusion, and strained relationships behind them.

At some point, you have to ask yourself:

Did we actually solve a problem, or did we just trade it for a different one?

Because now everyone else is dealing with the side effects.

As leaders, it can be tempting to look the other way when someone is delivering. We tell ourselves it’s not that bad. We hope it’ll work itself out.

It usually doesn’t.

Over time, people start walking on eggshells. Trust takes a hit. Team members get frustrated. Some of your best people start wondering why the behavior is being tolerated.

What started as a people issue becomes a culture issue.

Great talent matters.

But so does the impact that talent has on everyone around them.

Someone made a mistake.

Maybe it was your direct report. A peer. Your spouse. A server. Your dog.

Before you react, pause.

Get curious before you get overly critical.

Ask questions. Aim to understand what happened. Address what needs to be addressed.

But remember, shaming is not helpful, and doing it in front of an audience is even less so.

I’ve never seen embarrassment become a great teacher. I’ve seen it create fear, defensiveness, and distance. I’ve seen it make people less likely to speak up, take risks, or admit when they need help. I’ve seen people literally shut down and reverse their careers.

People grow when they’re held accountable and treated with the utmost level of dignity.

Have the conversation. Understand the perspectives. Give the feedback. Set the expectation.

Whatever you do, don’t confuse shame with leadership.

My grandmother taught me the importance of writing thank you notes when I was little.

If someone gave you a gift, did you a favor, or simply showed up for you, you wrote a thank you note. No exceptions.

It’s a habit I’ve done my best to carry with me, and now have a deep appreciation for when on the receiving end.

But recently, I started thinking about what it would be like if the thank you note was for you? Not the future version of you after you’ve reached the goal. Not the version of you once everything is figured out.

The version of you right now.

Life can feel heavy in the moment. It’s easy to focus on what’s still not done, what’s not happening fast enough, or how far you still have to go.

Meanwhile, you’re making hard decisions. Having difficult conversations. Healing things nobody else can see. Taking steps that future you will be grateful you took.

So today, try something different.

Write a thank you note from the future version of you to the person you are today.

I have a feeling they’ll have more to thank you for than you realize.

The flowers don’t bloom and the veggies don’t produce the day after you plant them.

Neither do you.

Keep watering what matters. Keep weeding out what doesn’t.

2:45am | wake up
4:30am | start work
5:00am | first meeting
7:40am | bloodwork gone wrong
8:45am onward | meetings & interview
Now | 🌞 putting myself in a time out

By noon today, I felt like I’d already lived an entire day.

Not every day is going to feel balanced. Not every day is going to feel easy. And not every day is going to look Instagram-worthy.

The goal isn’t to have perfect days.

The goal is to keep showing up for your life without abandoning yourself in the process.

Sometimes that means crushing a big goal.

Sometimes that means putting yourself in a time out, sitting in the sunshine and letting your nervous system remember that you’re human.

The best days aren’t always about doing more.

They’re often about simply recognizing how much you’ve already accomplished… and allowing yourself that well-deserved break.☀️

In first grade, my teacher gave me a lollipop.

Not because I got the highest grade.
Not because I was kind.
Not because I worked hard.

She gave it to me because I was the heaviest girl in the class.

Another little boy got one for being the heaviest boy.

The crazy part?

I don’t remember what I learned in first grade.
I don’t remember my classroom.
I don’t remember who sat next to me.

But I remember that lollipop.

Maybe nobody meant any harm by it. Maybe it was supposed to be funny. But my little first-grade brain made sense of it the only way it knew how.

𝗦𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗯𝗲 𝘄𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗺𝗲.

I think that’s because we all walk around carrying an invisible backpack. And inside are all these little moments, comments, experiences, and stories we’ve collected along the way.

Some of them build us.

Some of them quietly become the voice in our head.

For me, that little lollipop followed me for years. It shaped my relationship with food, with working out, and with my body. Even at my lowest weight, I never really felt small enough.

Looking back now, I can see I wasn’t chasing a number.

I was chasing the feeling that one little moment created.

I’ve spent a lot of years unpacking that backpack. Learning what belongs to me and what never should have been mine to carry in the first place.

And this post really isn’t about a lollipop.

It’s about the things we’ve all been carrying for years without realizing it.

Maybe today is a good day to unzip your own backpack and ask yourself:

𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁’𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁’𝘀 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝗲… 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗜 𝗯𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗿𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗳𝗮𝗿 𝘁𝗼𝗼 𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴? 🤍

One of the hardest things to navigate isn’t a difficult project.

It’s a difficult leader.

Maybe it’s your boss.

Maybe it’s a peer leader you have to partner with.

Maybe it’s someone reporting to you whose leadership style creates frustration for everyone around them.

Regardless of where they sit on the org chart, poor leadership has a way of affecting people.

It can feel defeating. Deflating. Demeaning.

It can make you question yourself, your abilities, and even your value.

I’ve watched talented people lose confidence because they spent too much time absorbing someone else’s energy.

And while poor leadership absolutely creates challenges, here’s what I want you to remember:

✨Don’t hand them the keys to your mindset.

✨Their lack of self-awareness isn’t yours.

✨Their poor communication isn’t yours.

✨Their inability to regulate their emotions isn’t yours.

✨Their leadership gaps don’t have to become your burden to carry.

Pay attention to patterns. Learn what you can. Set boundaries where appropriate. Continue growing yourself.

And most importantly, don’t let someone else’s shortcomings lead you to shrink yourself.

Some of the best leaders I’ve ever worked with weren’t shaped by great leadership. They were shaped by experiencing poor leadership and deciding, “When I’m in that position, I’m going to do better.”

Sometimes the lesson isn’t what to do. Sometimes it’s what not to do.

And those lessons can be just as powerful. 🤍

Most of us spend more time planning our next week than we do thinking about the life we’re actually creating.

I came across this prompt recently and couldn’t stop thinking about it.

If someone had to describe your life in a handful of slides, what would they say? Not your resume. Not your job title. Not the stuff you’ve accumulated.

𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝘀𝗮𝘆 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂?

Would they talk about how you showed up when things got hard, the way you treated people, the risks you took, or the things you stood for?

As a coach, I’ve found that a lot of people are working incredibly hard to build a life they haven’t really stopped to examine. They’re busy. They’re successful. They’re checking all the boxes. Yet something still feels off.

Sometimes the most important question isn’t, “What’s next?”

It’s, “Is the life I’m living actually mine?”

Those are some of my favorite conversations to have.