Hibaldstow FC

Hibaldstow 10-3 Henry’s

Ben gray 4 No clue x3
Neil 3
Harley 1
Daz 1
Alfie 1

Hibaldstow make Henrys look awful. Big shoutout to Harley claiming an own goal as his own. MOTM our most handsome player Joe Stothard.He’s off on a date later, let’s see if he’s scores tonight ⚽️ also Neil can do one.

!!!!!!FOUND!!!!!!!!!

Urgent appeal

Does anyone know who this woman is, she’s got Ben Lingard and it doesn’t look like shes giving him back anytime soon. Shes asked for the amount it costs for subs on a Sunday so we will have to set up a GoFundMe as no one usually pays it.

Missing !!!!!

Anyone seen Ben Lingard last seen snogging girls in the dying gladiator on Saturday night. Haven’t seen him since Sunday as he was meant to be playing. £10 reward for information !!

Hibaldstow 2-3 blybrough
⚽️ J.Wilkinson ⚽️not a clue
⚽️H.Brydon ⚽️also not a clue
⚽️Still no clue

We started this game well, then we conceded early doors with a ball split through the defence like a knife on fruit ninja. We quickly recovered with a bit of clever play from the bricksh*t house stod making tigers pass look good, leaving it for none other than the 🐐 of stow J.Wilkinson to get on the end of and place into the side netting.

We then saw a drinks break where the 🐐 got pulled off and showed the team what he ingested over the last 24hrs via physical display on the side of the pitch 🤮.

We conceded another when a sloppy back pass from anonymous lands at their strikers feet. He then makes J.Wilson dance like a desperate fat bird breaking his ankles and beating him to score.

The Stow then went ahead to score an absolute tap in from the bloke who’s got the worst win% in Lincolnshire H.Brydon making the game 2-2.

Until The 6ft 13 GK H.Maguire folds there striker like a hotel maid does towels. This completed his 0% save percentage from the game as they scored. New year same results up the stow

Also if anyone finds J.Wilsons ankles please message the page, last seen on his legs before the blybrough striker made him crumble in half. Thanks in advance

Player Profile
Harley Brydon
- Can fit more brown meat in his mouth than Katie Price
- Finished his dog off “too free his foreskin”
- Built like Verne Troyer if he was carrying carpets
- Dresses like a pe*****le ice road trucker
- Not got a bad touch
- Height shorter than his temper
- Record holder for most losses in a Hibaldstow kit
- More chance of Harvey Price getting a six pack than this c**t scoring a goal.

Winterton rovers 5.5-1 hibaldstow
Not a clue (4.5) B.Hill(1)
S.Hare (1)

Tough fixture for the stow, tougher fixture for the ref who couldn’t make his mind up on about 50 decisions had whistle in his mouth more than a PE teacher and dealt more cards out than a casino blackjack dealer. Pitch in worse state than Gasgoine and had more bumps than a teenager with acne. 2 stow players scored today one being Spencer Hare who managed to bag the first for the other team putting us 1-0 down. Brook scored a cross which he’s claiming was a cross. Lingard couldn’t hit a barn door with a dart. Balmy gave away a stonewall penalty without touching the player.Either way we’ve been knocked out the cup. Luckily for Ashby FC who we would have walked all over.

Cracking win today against a bogey team of ours last season. Rumour has it Boden scores more than Charlie Sheen in a brothel.

Husaria 2-6 Hibaldstow

Kezza 1
Ben Brack 1
Boden 4 (MOTM)

New transport for the football team ordered. Harry Maguire still couldn’t lay flat in it. UTS