Heart-Headed Coaching

Surprise celebrations ♡

📸

Love, above all.

Cannot wait to celebrate your special union ♡

Those who don't believe in magic, will never find it...

Cradling my naked body, gentle tears flowed… “I love you. I’m so proud of you”.

How tough we are on ourselves; our bodies – our soul-protectors. For a moment, I was overcome with humility of feeling life flow through this vessel of mine.

We are so much more than the expectations we place on ourselves.

I am nowhere close to achieving what I’d set out for myself. In fact, this past year really has been about being with what is. Acceptance of reality. Grieving. Practicing patience in trusting divine timing. Receiving.

- Finding the strength to support others when I’ve had more energy to give -

- Acknowledging my limitations when things felt less than… cultivating my ability to ask for help -

- Allowing deeper vulnerability in loving communion, despite my fears of being fully seen -

- Having the courage to be solemn, distant and withdrawn when I’ve needed it.

Beyond all your unmet expectations, you are infinitely connected in this moment.

This pandemic of global confusion is asking us to choose kindness through the heartache. Show love despite the hardship. Practice patience through the uncertainty. Be gentle in your humanness. 

I was over my head this week.

Before bed, I put on a guided meditation that usually soothes my soul, and oh wow, did it trip me into an existential spiral. I couldn’t for the life of me self-soothe for what felt like eternity. And the tears just poured, seemingly endless.

In moments of panic I ran through names of my people I knew would make themselves available to comfort me, and instinctively… I felt SHAME. How could I ask someone to hold me through this? 

So I texted instead… “are you awake?” (911, how are you?🙄)

How was I feeling so much shame around reaching out to people that love me?

I fell to my knees and let the tears sob as they needed, surrendering to it all. When I finally felt the depth of resilience return, I reached for a song to anchor me, a song that I’ve listened to thousands of times since I was 14… so simple and grounding, yet so profound.

CocoRosie’s Noah’s Ark sang me to sleep once more, supporting my unearthing of deep shame into the light.

Many of us carry shame. The antidote to shame is connection, sharing with a trusted source of non-judgement.

Let my sharing transmute your shame and give you strength to share yours before it becomes too heavy. This is my invitation for you to reach out at any moment should you feel alone in your grieving ♡

“You can never go too deeply, only too fast…”

This past weekend I had the privilege of slowing down to the rhythm of life. I was available to all the healing that my nervous system needed, despite what my ego wanted. How often do we want greater tangible results, more obvious “enlightenment”, more to “show for it"?  

I spent time surrounded by sacred women, taking part in all things nurturing and life-affirming. We delved into the wisdom of the elements - danced under the stars, hiked through the mountains, swam in the dam, ate all the scrumptious delights, sewed dolls, rested when necessary, and laughed deeply. We shared insights and learnings from our journeys – past, present and still to unfold.

When it comes to personal growth, we need to meet ourselves where we are and not where we'd hoped to be. When our expectations are too focused on the outcomes of a therapeutic process, we defeat the purpose. Our nervous systems are unable to integrate an expansion of consciousness and we run the risk of bypassing the opportunity, or even becoming re-traumatised.

Healing is not linear and cannot be measured with our rational minds. It’s something we feel – a sense of peace and being at ease.

The gift is in slowing down… going slow, to go far ♡

How can you slow down to meet yourself where you are, despite your expectations? 

Feeling into an abundance of inspiration preparing for a witchy women's retreat this weekend.. an elemental journey through creative expression, guided by Mother Nature herself 😇

What's inspiring you at the moment? Would love to hear!

On days where I feel the burden of comparison to do more, be more and achieve more, I remember this little girl is the only one I’m trying to impress.

I have this picture posted on my wall as a daily reminder of why I’m fighting so hard to be better than I was yesterday. Making space for all that she dreamed to be. She’s unapologetic and wild in her ways, bursting with curiosity of life… Who were you before you were taught to toughen against it all?

If she whispered you words of encouragement, what would she say?

What would she want you to know about how far you’ve come?

Even if for no-one else, be the person that would make her proud. 

I’ve been pondering “self-sabotage” and how it shows up in my life. As a specialist in procrastination tendancies, I tend to label my behaviours of inaction as “self-sabotage” to avoid feeling shame around my complacency. Aren’t humans so skilful like that?!

Honestly though, it’s become a pretty solid excuse for not holding myself accountable and putting in the work. Anyone else?

My brilliance lies in the initial phases of projects, creating and brainstorming, rather than seeing them to completion. When the end is too far out of sight, I tend to lose momentum and quickly move onto something more exciting. My challenge usually lies in the consistent ex*****on of tasks, which in turn drives results in the longer-term.

As much as I know this to be the case, I fall into this trap on a daily basis. Once I plant seeds, I have to keep reminding myself to water and nurture them in order to reap the rewards… nothing worthwhile grows overnight.

At what point do we make the decision to change something that isn’t working for us or serving us?

Every self-sabotaging pattern started with the purpose of survival. Be willing to explore how this pattern kept you and your lineage alive. I have a simple request for it: “Thank you for keeping me safe up until now. I am ready to release this pattern that is no longer serving me.”

If this self-sabotaging pattern keeps showing up, what is it trying to teach you?

Oftentimes, we know… we just need to be willing to listen, get out of our own way and take that next step ♡

With fires raging across Cape Town, we are being called to come together to take care of each other and our city, despite the destruction that’s been caused. People displaced. Animals endangered. Nature destroyed. Narratives lost.

This is a wake-up call for us; the time is now. Every one of us have a part to play in caring for our planet - and we get to decide what that looks like.

It costs nothing to be kind and make a difference in any way that you can, even if it feels insignificant in the greater scheme of things. It all adds up!

If you are in a position to help: UCT students are in need of essentials and financial aid, donate to the Volunteer Wildlife Services through SnapScan / relief fund, donate to SPCA for animal rescue services and put out water bowls for stranded animals if you are close to areas where they can seek refuge.

There is free counselling available through The Counselling Hub, ICAS (080 111 3945) and SA Depression and Anxiety Group (080 024 2526). Pray for our city and its people.

Thank you to our brave firefighters and caretakers – you are absolute heroes! 

I can’t even blame it on the moon.

This past weekend I was deeply triggered and was not my highest self to be around. What the heck was that about?! There was no sense of conscious communication whatsoever and I’ve been taking lots of time to reflect on how to channel this fire in a healthy way.

I found Julian Treasure’s work on “speaking so that people will listen”. Conscious communication aims to eradicate some deadly sins of communication that we are way too accustomed to: negativity, excuses, lying, gossip, and judging, to name a few.

Yes, I’m guilty of them all. Even the gaslighting of being called out.

Having awareness of our speech means using appropriate pace and pitch, a smooth timbre, a weighted register in the chest, approachable volume and effective prosody to impart meaning. These are the technicalities of conscious communication, but beneath it all, these tools allows us design our speech to speak with –

Honesty,

Authenticity,

Integrity,

and Love.

With the desire to be understood, comes the responsibility to consciously communicate.. as you mean it.

This teaching has supported my reflection process with greater awareness. How do you impart conscious communication? 

Thank you for your comic creations, all the feels.

*adds modeling to CV*

This is not about me, or even for me.

This morning I wrapped up a 2-month client journey and my heart has been overflowing with gratitude. What a privilege to witness such transformation and commitment to healing. How epic that this is what I get to do?!

This is what its about - serving my clients.

My practice Heart-Headed Coaching is centered around balancing head and heart through empowered authentic expression. I hold space for heart-centric souls to live more deeply in their truth.

Held.

Embodied.

Boundaried.

Liberated.

Empowered.

Connected.

It’s been a deep process of befriending my fears and stepping into the light. Truth is, the world needs you to do the same – there is space for us all to shine our unique brilliance.

If you’re curious about transformational coaching, reach out and we’ll set up an initial discovery call ♡

I'd be honoured to walk alongside you.

P.S. thank you Alice Sholto-Douglas for your brilliance in capturing this. I adore you.