Olebogeng Makgaka

I was out last night with my girl and I didn’t realise how much I missed her till today omg. I love her so much and want only the best for her!

Friendship is such a great concept. Find the right friends and be happy. ❤️

Go tlhoka chelete gwa bora yo.

My heart feels soo heavy. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place, coming out seems almost impossible. If I victimise myself, I will just be avoiding the hard truth and lying to myself. If I accept that I may be the villain, the hurt I have caused to the only person I gave my heart to, believed in their dreams and vision, prayed for more than I prayed for myself, stuck with in good and in bad times will follow me for the rest of my life. Love is beautiful yet soo painful.

We always want communication, but communication is deeper than just speaking everyday. I want to be listened to and understood. Being with someone who always twists what you say to suit their feelings and narrative is one of the worst things I have experienced in my dating life. Its sad, its painful, its provocative and its dangerous.

Letting go is really hard, but its something that has to be done. I am tired of crying, questioning myself. I do not want to be with someone who makes me question their love for me. I have loved and been loved properly before, I know how love feels like. Mistakes or no mistakes, love will always be felt. Sadly, with this relationship, I do not feel it. May he find it in his heart to forgive me for all the things I said that did not sit well with him because now I feel like s**t for making him feel like that. Its not nice to part ways like this with the person you love, saw a future with and wanted to have a big family with. I really wanna have kids and when things just go south like it, ke utlwa botlhoko because I want to have a family, I want kids, God knows how much I want to have kids and a lot of them. Ke utlwa botlhoko and I have so much fear because I dont even know who’s gonna father my kids when the person I wish to father my furure kids is not making me feel loved the way I want to be loved? 4 years of being with someone, planning but at the back of my mind there’s this fear, especially when it comes to having kids. I do not want to hate my kids because their dad cant love me.

The fear of pregnancy has gotten to me in the past 4 years because I dont know how he is gonna treat me when I really need him to help me out with stuff without asking or forcing him to. Taking care of someone you love comes naturally, I have seen it with my past relationships, I have seen it with myself to him in this relationship, its just unfortunate that from him, it doesn’t come naturally and I always have to force it out of him. I do not want to be with someone who is not thoughtful of me. It breaks me.

03 March 2026, the end of something I wanted to last and be great. I just need to put myself first, regardless of how selfish it may seem. Its okay.

If you see this, just know that I loved you with everything in me. And I want the very best for you even without me, take care of yourself, emotionally, physically, spiritually. May your career continue to shine and may you chase all your dreams to make them come true. May you live life without any worry, be present in all your moments, be able to see light in any dark moment of your life, and whatever you wish to get from someone, may you give it to yourself, love yourself fully before you go love someone else. If you decide to stop speaking to me, its okay, but I wouldnt want us to part in angry terms. Yes we can burn our romantic bridge, but lets not burn the life bridge. I love you so much. I will love myself better and more.

Yo, I have never cried like this in my life. But I know myself, I am gonna be just fine. I just need to take all this emotions in and allow myself to feel the pain that comes with this.