Blackwood AFL Masters

National Carnival Fundraiser – Lucky Squares!

Help send our players to Newcastle for the 2026 AFL Masters National Carnival – and you could win a meat tray while you're at it!

100 squares up for grabs at just $5 each. Two winners will be drawn Saturday morning at 9am, with each taking home a meat tray generously donated by My Butcher. Delivery for winning trays to be organised after the draw.

Thanks to My Butcher and Diesel for organising!

Grab your square here 👉 https://luckysquares.com.au/national-carnival-fundraiser-2026

Reminder – State Team Training this Wednesday!

Wednesday 26 August – Pooraka Oval, 6pm for a 6.30pm start.

With Newcastle getting closer, don't miss this chance to get some valuable training in, build combinations and prepare as a team.

Your State is Calling. Answer the Call.

Blackwood Masters v Riverland Superdogs AFL Masters Football Club– Match Report – Round 11

Goal Kickers: Beston10, Naf 2, Charlie 1, King 1, Simmo 1, Wallsy 1, Eggers 1, Cheese 1, Brooka 1

Historically there has never been an official match report written for the annual Riverland trip. Not because nobody could be bothered. Not because there wasn't enough material. Quite the opposite. For decades all records relating to Blackwood's annual pilgrimage to Lyrup remained sealed under strict confidentiality agreements, legal advice and insurance policies. Fortunately, earlier this week a judicial inquiry overturned those restrictions and the archives were finally released, finally permitting future match reports to be published.
Every great club has traditions. Some clubs have honour boards. Some have life memberships. Some have premiership reunions. Blackwood has life-size cardboard cut-outs of absent club legends. Whether this is done to honour their contribution or simply take the absolute p**s out of them remains the subject of debate. This year's inductee was to be the King of Coromandel himself. Upon hearing the whispers, His Majesty promptly changed return flights from the United States and flew home to avoid eternal cardboard humiliation. Outstanding commitment. Unfortunately, once you're nominated, you're nominated. The cut-out committee is ruthless.

Another proud Riverland tradition is the awarding of the coveted Jon "Best And" Ferris Medal, presented annually to the weekend's poorest performer. The award was established following Ferris' all-time effort last year when he consumed enough mid-strength cans during the drive up to be tucked safely into bed by approximately 7:30pm.

The bookies had Wu as a raging favourite leading into this year's event. Sadly, he and several other hopefuls withdrew late due to family commitments and kids' sporting finals. Admirable? Perhaps. Acceptable? Absolutely not. The market was thrown into turmoil. Betting agencies scrambled. Who would claim the prestigious B&F crown?

Jon took the wheel for the trip north this year while Ganey settled into the passenger seat and immediately began attacking the supply of 3.5's. Strong early form. Elite tempo. He rocketed into early favouritism. On arrival at Renmark, not to be outdone, Big Coops arrived and began to bridge the consumption gap with his great mate. It quickly looked like a two-horse race.

Then came Flynny. Sensing weakness amongst the leaders, Flynny launched a series of skull-off challenges in an attempt to land the knockout blow. Head-to-head they went. The sort of performance usually reserved for elite athletes. Flynny appeared to have claimed his scalps, but did he?

There was some concern when neither the Skip nor Coops were sighted for nearly half an hour. Upon returning, Coops had somehow transformed himself. Gone were the daytime trackies and thongs. In their place appeared evening wear trackies and New Balance’s. Hello ladies, the Riverland social scene had been warned.

With Ganey's return refreshed with a second wind and increasing his presence as the night's serial pest, his hand on the trophy was slipping away. Solid performance shown from the Skipper. No chance he was winning the trophy this year.
Ohh no. Jon Best And Ferris was losing steam and reportedly ordered $100 worth of McDonalds to be delivered to his room, earning a second nickname in "McJonalds". Then it was confirmed the B&F OG had gone to bed, already, before 10pm. Back in the lead to win his own award and become a two-time B&F?

One report released from previous years revealed that club president Littles (who also was a high-profile absentee this year) discovered a loophole in hospitality legislation whereby after approximately 100 scotches a venue becomes legally obligated to produce cheese toasties. Following the success of that initiative, community service has now been fully outsourced to Tooch and Eggers.

Room 47 again became one of South Australia's premier late-night dining establishments. Tooch operated as maître d', host and floor manager while Eggers was condemned to life as the kitchen apprentice, punching food out faster than the McDonalds burger flipper trying to finish Jon's massive order. Complimentary night caps of Jamo's with a cheese toastie, although a fantastic idea at the time, the reflux the next day suggested otherwise.

Meanwhile, a special community shoutout goes to Tys. While some blokes spent the evening socialising, our resident plumbing auditor conducted a comprehensive inspection of every toilet and urinal within the district. Reports suggest all facilities underwent multiple assessments and were found fully operational and fully digitally documented with copies released to the group.
Then there was apparently a football game scheduled.

Sunday morning arrived with all the grace of a sledgehammer. Busted heads emerged slowly from hotel rooms. Everyone in a state somewhere between dusty and second-hand. We are all about professional preparation so thankfully the BBQ breakfast was waiting. Bacon. Eggs. Coffee. Powerade. Nurofen. Panadol. Nurofen. Panadol. Slowly life returned to the group. Well, most of the group.

Flynny was in all sorts. In fact, breakfast proved to be the last confirmed sighting.
His intended destination was Lyrup Oval. Somewhere between breakfast and the ferry crossing he vanished entirely. Multiple theories have emerged. A wrong turn. Heatstroke. Fishing expedition. Abduction. The current theory remains that his head simply fell off while crossing the ferry and has floated down the Murray towards Paringa.
The search continues. If located, he remains the overwhelming favourite for the 2026 Jon "Best And" Ferris Medal after heroically sacrificing himself trying to take down Ganey the night before.

As the remaining 19 survivors arrived at Lyrup, the sight was magnificent. Blue skies. Perfect weather. And an oval of such ridiculous proportions the boundary line was so far away several players considered packing the esky before leading into the pockets.
Near the boundary sat a battered cricket bat and a heavily dog-chewed tennis ball. Naturally this immediately became a bigger attraction than the football itself. The King of Coromandel seized the moment. Cover drives. Pull shots. Elite. Long live the King.
As for the footy an example of how well we were going, Tooch pulled on the jumper, socked pulled up, boots laced and about to run out only to realise he had forgotten to put his shorts on. Deplorable. But then, wow, Blackwood delivered one of its best performances of the year. Considering everyone still stunk of b**r, toasties and poor decisions, it was bloody impressive. The midfield dominated. The backline repelled everything. And the forwards absolutely dined out.
Special mention must go to the self-proclaimed Riverland Specialist, The Weapon. Long-time readers will know he once kicked seven goals at Lyrup. How do we know? Because he tells absolutely everyone. Every year. Every trip. Every opportunity. Another Riverland legend that did not show up and has now handed the keys to another spearhead.

What a performance. The Blackwood Intersport Award went to OG Best And Ferris following a ridiculously dominant ten-goal performance.
Unstoppable. However, it was a day of silver-service delivery. Miraculously even handing a few off. Think he got tired.

The Broadway Hotel Award went to Nappies. There were early concerns after Nappies spent several days in the Riverland with the family and still managed to arrive only minutes before the opening bounce. Despite this marathon preparation, he was once again enormous. Strong in the air, strong on the ground and generally about as easy to move as a brick retaining wall.

The Lenox Ave Award went to Bolts, who quietly accumulated possessions all day on a wing so wide nobody could be bothered chasing him. Bolts also deserves historical recognition as the original bearer of the title "Sq**rt" before Sq**rt 2.0 inherited the mantle. During an earlier Riverland campaign, Bolts spent equal periods playing football, p**sing while sitting down in the sh***er and hiding deep in defence with his thumb firmly up his clacker and praying he didn't fertilise Lyrup Oval unexpectedly.

Finally, before we finish, a special mention must go to the Lyrup changerooms. Magnificent. Modern clubs waste millions on useless luxuries such as comfort, functionality and privacy. Lyrup has resisted all attempts at improvement.
The showers remain gloriously communal. None of these modern cubicles and privacy screens. Just old-school football culture operating exactly as it should. Three shower heads servicing an entire playing group encourages teamwork and camaraderie, although at the risk of copping a stream of warm p**s on your leg.
Directly adjacent the showers was a waist-high brick ledge beside the urinal that doubles as a bar to place your b**r, discussion area and meeting room. Honestly, it's the sort of multifunctional thinking modern architects dream about.
The plumbing arrangement appears to have evolved naturally rather than being intentionally designed. One pipe enters a wall. Another emerges from the floor. A third simply disappears. My favourite feature was the innovative drainage system. Water from the hand basin joins forces with shower runoff before creating a glorious cocktail of sweat, mud, spit, p**s, snot, sunscreen and regret which meanders gracefully between everyone's toes on its journey toward the lone drain in the middle of the showers. Perfect.
The carpet appears to date somewhere between the moon landing and Razor's first Masters game. Soft underfoot? Absolutely. What exactly is embedded within the plush after decades of footballers is a question best left unanswered.
Don't change a bloody thing. 4.5 stars. Heritage list it immediately.

A fantastic weekend away, a ripper game on the field, outstanding shenanigans off it and another glorious chapter added to the ever-growing Riverland files.

See you Tuesday night for $3 b**rs, lies, exaggerations and selective retellings of events.

AFL Masters National
AFL Masters SA
2026 Sponsors:
🙏 Radical Torque Solutions Pty Ltd
🥩 Blackwood butchers
📸 Black Canvas Photographers
💍 James Thredgold Jeweller
🍕 Blackwood pizza bar
❄️ ACERair
🏡 Rosie & Rosie
☕️ Lenox Avenue ADL
🍻 Broadway Hotel
🥔 Mitolo Family Farms
🏉 INTERSPORT Blackwood
👐 Back in Balance Chiropractic
💚 Catherine Hutchesson MP
🔧 Plastics Hub
📞 dbi communications
⚒️ Adelaide Plains Fabrication

Preparations for the 2026 AFL Masters National Carnival in Newcastle are ramping up, with a State Team training session on the following dates at 6pm for a 6.30pm start:

Wednesday 26 August – Pooraka Oval

Wednesday 9 September – Athelstone Oval

Wednesday 16 September – Woodville South Oval

With Newcastle getting closer, these sessions are a great opportunity to get some valuable training in, build comradery and prepare as a team.

Your State is Calling. Answer the Call. 💙❤️💛

Over 50s Round 4 – This Sunday at Hackham Oval!

The AFL Masters SA Over 50s are back this Sunday for another great afternoon of footy.

Come along, support the teams and enjoy a great afternoon of footy, food and drinks.

We look forward to seeing all our Over 50s players, families and supporters for another fantastic day of football.

See you at Hackham Oval!

Last chance to order your AFL Masters SA National Carnival apparel!
Orders for official 2026 AFL Masters National Carnival apparel close this Sunday, 16 August.
If you're travelling to Newcastle, don't miss your chance to secure your playing and supporter gear before orders close.
Order ASAP online here: https://uniformshopsa.com.au/collections/afl-masters
Don't leave it until the last minute—once orders close, you'll miss out!
Your State is Calling. Answer the Call.

Blackwood Masters – Match Report – Round 10 vs Woodville South AFL Masters (White Ribbon Rnd @ Barossa)

As the Axemen prepared for the pilgrimage to the Barossa, the weeks leading up to it there was plenty happening before a footy had even been bounced. The glow of the hugely successful last home game a fortnight ago was still hanging around, although unfortunately so too was another missing property investigation involving our resident copper. Sharp-eyed readers may recall Round 5 when Ogie convinced himself his wedding ring and ID had disappeared, triggering a search operation involving players, wives, children and possibly ASIO, only to eventually locate both items in his own pocket. Well, somehow things had escalated. This time an emergency club-wide announcement was released regarding a missing w**e cooler bag. Once again search parties were deployed led by our own detective Cheeky. Dog squads activated. Helicopters scrambled. STAR Force placed on standby. Thankfully Cheeky cracked the case, locating what had been described as a w**e bag. It turned out to be a filthy $3 pink primary school lunch cooler covered in stains, mud, vomit and approximately ten years of neglect. Miraculously, one surviving can of Jim Beam was recovered alive from the wreckage. Case closed.

With Tuesday night's training was washed out by rain, the session quickly evolved into a BBQ, the Pres’s indiscretion b**rs and what can only be described as an elite table tennis tournament. The rivalry between Ferris and Nappies has now reached State of Origin levels of hatred and competitiveness, just with considerably less athleticism. At the same time, the boys continued their journey from footballers to fast-food connoisseurs. What began weeks ago as discussions surrounding a club air fryer for nuggets and chips has somehow evolved into a panel of Hungry Jack's restaurant critics dividing the group in heated debate.

Getting back to this week’s match… Sunday morning's bus trip set the tone for the day. Ogie was behind the wheel and immediately found himself locked in a fierce battle with the air-conditioning controls. There appeared to be only two settings available, Antarctic Blast and Surface of the Sun. One-minute Eggers' ni***es were threatening to cut holes through his polo shirt and the next blokes were sweating harder than a menopausal woman in a sleeping bag. Despite having the entire journey to figure it out, Ogie nor his navigator Ganey never located the middle setting.

Upon arrival we welcomed first gamer Terry to the Axemen. Any concerns the new bloke may have had about Masters football being a little unprofessional were likely confirmed by the sight of a busload of ageing footballers emerging, limping and staggering to the changerooms.

The weather was quite simply biblical. Water sat everywhere. Massive puddles covered the oval and several sections had officially transitioned from football ground to an aquatic centre. Conditions became so dangerous the interchange bench established a volunteer Surf Life Saving patrol and erected flags at either end of the bench area to ensure any Axemen incompetent swimmers stayed between the flags. Local rainfall records were probably under serious threat. By late afternoon lightning swept through, and the remaining games were called off. Fair call too, as Noah was cited and was reportedly seen selecting two of every species from the car park while borrowing one of Tooch's dressing gowns.

Ganey won the toss and immediately elected to kick to the shallow end, Masters wisdom right there!

To the Axemen's credit, we adapted beautifully. There was no point trying fancy switches or overlap handball chains. The game plan was simple. Belt the pill forward, keep it there and force Woody South to repeatedly swim it out. It wasn't pretty football, but it was effective football. Territory became king and the boys locked the ball in our front half for long periods. Watching some of the contests unfold, there is genuine belief Blackwood Axemen could field a reasonably competitive water polo side next season. Bails already has his kiddie arm floaties (aka bicep enhancements) ready to go!

The Blackwood Intersport Award and White Ribbon Medal both went to skipper Ganey, who was absolutely outstanding through the middle. While most players spent the afternoon wondering whether they needed footy boots or flippers, Ganey glided through the flooded conditions effortlessly. Time and time again he won the contested footy, drove his legs through standing water and delivered the ball forward. Most remarkably, he continued kicking effectively on both left and right feet despite appearing to have evolved into some sort of amphibious footballer.

The Broadway Hotel Award and Opposition Best on Ground Bottle of Red went to Pacey, who once again dominated across half back. While many players struggled to remain upright, Pacey seemed determined to play the entire game sliding on his arse. Every time Woody South went forward there he was, sliding, intercepting, gathering and distributing.

The Lenox Ave Award went to Wu, proving once again that elite preparation is overrated. On the bus trip up, fuelled himself with breakfast stouts, Sports scientists remain divided on the effectiveness of this method, but Wu swears by it. Proven formula now as he dominated down back early before becoming a target up forward later in the day. After slotting a snag, the famous oriental celebration made an appearance to the delight of teammates and the confusion of everyone else at the ground. Wu’s performance could have gone up a level in legendary status. During the game music was blasting across the ground and as a Woody South bloke was lining up for goal, the “almost” moment came. Eagle Rock or otherwise traditionally known as Eagle Drop came over the loud speakers, several teammates immediately became concerned as we all knew what was going through Wu’s mind! Fortunately, common sense prevailed and a full pant-dropping incident was narrowly avoided. No one wants to see that!

The Men of the Earth Shampoo Award involved early nominations centred around Bails after he appeared to go spectacularly arse-over-tit crossing the boundary before the game had even started. However further investigation revealed foul play. Junior Bails had been launching mud and water at the old man prior to the incident before ended up the young fella taking a swim in one of the oval's newly formed lakes. Following a full review, the award was officially transferred to Junior Bails for outstanding commitment to chaos.

Conditions on the bench weren't much warmer. Tooch produced a collection of vintage dressing gowns from somewhere deep within the Blackwood archives. The sight of half a dozen Axemen and Noah himself wrapped in 1970s robes gave the interchange area the appearance of a low-budget Hugh Hefner convention. Tooch wore his with particular confidence, which only raised further questions after a previous possible documented sighting on Epstein Island.

The trip home somehow became even more eventful. Attempt to hitch a ride home on Noah’s boat was unsuccessful, so the lads piled back onto the bus. Given recent history surprisingly Ogie managed to find the bus but then has to be said his driving duties, expertly guided the bus through Adelaide despite every single window fogging up completely. Visibility was approximately zero. Whether he was following road markings, GPS instructions or spiritual guidance remains unclear. Either way, everyone made it home, we think, not yet fully confirmed.

The medical report was remarkably positive. No hamstrings. No calves. No knees. The only casualties were bladders. Tozer, Squid and Eggers all reached critical status somewhere around Main North Road and required an emergency OTR intervention. Witnesses reported the three men exited the bus with pace and urgency not displayed at any stage during the football match. Rumours of a sword-fighting competition inside the amenities remain unconfirmed, with officials still reviewing CCTV footage before declaring a winner

A terrific team effort in truly ridiculous conditions. Great game in what was effectively a flooded paddock was a fantastic result!

As always, see ya Tuesday night, 6:30pm. No training this week, just the General Meeting, Hungry Jack's reviews, table tennis and $3 b**rs.

AFL Masters National
AFL Masters SA
2026 Sponsors:
🙏 Radical Torque Solutions Pty Ltd
🥩 Blackwood butchers
📸 Black Canvas Photographers
💍 James Thredgold Jeweller
🍕 Blackwood pizza bar
❄️ ACERair
🏡 Rosie & Rosie
☕️ Lenox Avenue ADL
🍻 Broadway Hotel
🥔 Mitolo Family Farms
🏉 INTERSPORT Blackwood
👐 Back in Balance Chiropractic
💚 Catherine Hutchesson MP
🔧 Plastics Hub
📞 dbi communications
⚒️ Adelaide Plains Fabrication

BAROSSA PARK AT LYNDOCH COPPED A REAL BATTERING OF RAIN AND LIGHTNING TODAY

This is from the Blackwood AFL Masters and Woodville South game. The ground, is under water in places.

We’ve heard the grounds in the Hills Football League were wet today for the women’s finals. We can only imagine, the state of some Hills grounds.

We could only imagine what the ground at Houghton Districts would be like. That’s the worst we’ve ever seen, when it’s wet.

Blackwood Masters – Match Report – Rnd 9 vs West Brumbys

Goal Kickers: Nappies 3, Starry 2, Beston 2, King 2, Bolts 1, Naf 1, Littles 1, Coops 1, Ganey 1, Ogie 1, Squid 1, Daz 1, Eggers 1, Tyson 1, Richmann 1

There was plenty of excitement in the air in the lead-up to this one. Maybe it was the prospect of our last home game of the year. Maybe it was Ladies Day. Or maybe, more likely, it was the riveting team-chat discussion about purchasing a team air fryer so we could smash down some nuggets and chips on Tuesday nights after training while sinking a few $3 training b**rs. But just when you thought the conversation couldn’t possibly get any more sophisticated, the boys started discussing the need for a freezer to go with the air fryer. Simple blokes. Footy, b**r, frozen chips and a kitchen appliance capable of producing nuggets without the need for actual culinary talent. I suppose similar to us playing football without need for actual football talent.

Before the game, things weren’t looking flash. The oval had water sitting on the surface, boggy patches everywhere and a sky that looked like it was threatening to absolutely p**s down at any moment. It was shaping up to be less Australian Rules Football and more mud wrestling with a Sherrin. Thankfully, the footy gods showed a rare moment of mercy and the weather improve and despite the greasy conditions, what followed was some bloody impressive footy. The boys moved the ball beautifully from end to end, linking up by hand and foot, supporting each other and generally looking like a proper football side rather than a bunch of blokes who’d spent the previous week arguing about the relative merits of different air fryers. The best part was the spread of the pill, with 15 different goal kickers getting on the scoresheet. Now that’s team footy.

It was fantastic to host a huge contingent of ladies and sponsors for the day. Although, judging by where everyone’s attention was directed, the football appeared to be a distant second to the antipasto boxes, w**e and gossip. Can’t blame them really. Why would you watch a mob of fat, old blokes waddling around a muddy oval when there’s a perfectly good grazing platter and a glass of vino sitting nearby? Everyone was in a particularly happy mood, with food and drinks flowing freely. Much like Tozer, travelling around the country visiting his own collection of happy bars.

Best on Ground: Eggers, awarded the Blackwood Intersport award. What a bloody ripper. At approximately 45kg ringing wet, there were legitimate concerns that a strong southerly breeze might carry him over the fence. But the fella was absolutely on fire. Kicked goals, handed them out, chased, tackled and generally looked like he knew what he was doing. Most impressively, he got through the day without breaking anything. Miracle.

Nappies won the Broadway Hotel Voucher. The big man was imposing all day, doing plenty of damage both up forward and down back. Before the game, Nappies turned up with a party-box speaker the size of a small vehicle and proceeded to blast some Acca Dacca through the changerooms in an attempt to fire the boys up. Worked a treat, especially for himself! Three snags for the big unit and plenty of presence around the ground. When Nappies is up and about, you know about it.

Starry took out Lenox Ave award AND the Oppo BOG Bottle of Red. Starry has apparently decided that playing as the power forward means standing directly in front of the goals. Taking the definition of “playing out of the square” literally, Starry pinched the Weapon’s traditional role and snagged a couple from right on the goal line in front of the liquidised Ladies Day crowd. Two goals, plenty of forward presence and, most importantly, a new fan favourite has been born. The Weapon may now have to earn his way back into the team by starting at the opposite end of the ground and working his way forward. Could take years!

Richman gets Men of The Earth, shampoo. He was once again solid as a rock from his usual half-back post before finally getting a crack up forward in the last quarter. And then came the moment. Tys delivered an absolute lace-out beauty, hitting Richmann straight on the tit about 30 metres from goal. What followed was quite possibly the most elaborate preparation for a set shot ever witnessed at Blackwood Masters level. Richie proceeded to retreat approximately 50 metres behind the man on the mark, bloody close to his previous half back position. Then: Socks up. Mouthguard in the shorts. Deep breath. Wipe the ball. Socks up again. Pause. Another breath. By this stage, the crowd was absolutely on the edge of their seats. Or possibly on the verge of falling asleep. The whole preparation went for about 90 bloody seconds. For f**k sake, hurry up! Eventually, theatrics commenced, the long run-up commenced and unleashed the Eddie Hocking special, a massive balk, showed some candy, sent the opposition bloke the wrong way and then calmly slotted it straight through the Hey Di**le Di**le before giving celebration to the crowd….but no one was watching by then!

A massive thanks to everyone who helped make the day such a success. From the early set-up, to running the BBQ and for the soccer kids kicking the dew off right through until after the late game, and then sticking around for the clean-up afterwards. There were far too many blokes to name individually, with everyone chipping in and getting stuck into it. Legends.

Airport b**rs. Shower b**rs. After-game b**rs. $3 training b**rs. They're all great… but nothing beats a free b**r. Thanks Pres, after Training Tuesday night your indiscretion b**rs will not go unappreciated.

AFL Masters National
AFL Masters SA
2026 Sponsors:
🙏 Radical Torque Solutions Pty Ltd
🥩 Blackwood butchers
📸 Black Canvas Photographers
💍 James Thredgold Jeweller
🍕 Blackwood pizza bar
❄️ ACERair
🏡 Rosie & Rosie
☕️ Lenox Avenue ADL
🍻 Broadway Hotel
🥔 Mitolo Family Farms
🏉 INTERSPORT Blackwood
👐 Back in Balance Chiropractic
💚 Catherine Hutchesson MP
🔧 Plastics Hub
📞 dbi communications
⚒️ Adelaide Plains Fabrication