A song triggered grief in a small public setting.
The tears quickly transformed perfectly to joy
A wonderful reminder..
Love and Grief with Pravas
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Creating a conversation
around the unique experience of love and grief. My lived experience of grief began at age 5 when my Mother died.
A large life filled with all that life offers including relationship, parenting including all the highs and lows of what I call " The Human Experience"
That Human Experience" has moulded me into the Sage I am today. At age 27 my first child died at 13 months of age after being diagnosed with a life threatening condition at 6 months. This was at a time in the 1970's when there were no support se
Life is Eternal and filled with Joy.
I look forward to every moment!
Quote Louise L Hay
A Stevie Wonder song of 1973 "You are the sunshine of my life" was on the car radio today.
It brought both grief and joy as I was reminded of my infant son Kevin.
I remember singing this song to him now some 52 years ago.
The overwhelming feeling is joy and celebration in having Kevin in my life.
I am a bereaved child, parent, adult son, adult sibling in chronological order.
My learning was the primary absence of that person from my everyday life.
The other aspect was my family relationship with the Deceased. Example the grief for my son is different to my father.
For my young son it was the loss of a lifetime of anticipated experiences that never happened.
For my father it was remembering all the moments we shared coupled with noting the moments I did not share as I made other choices not to se him whilst he was still alive.
These insights come with a mixture of grief and joy as I celebrate the presence, short or long, of all these amazing family members.
Whilst grieving I always did my best based on my world view current at that time.
On a scale of 1 to 10 some days my functioning varied within that range.
My awareness is that was the best I could do and I am comfortable with that variation without criticizing of belittling myself in my grief process.
OTHERS DOING THEIR BEST
Applying the same perspective the others around me were doing their best to support me but in a well meaning clumsy uncomfortable manner.
This perhaps reflected their own confrontation with death and grief and I was the living reminder of that.
COMMENT
In my view our society in general does not handle death and grief well as this fails to serve the bereaved and those around them.
My understanding is the best support to the bereaved is by your presence.
A different perspective from a friend.
If we celebrate the day someone was born we call it their Birthday.
Why then do we not, when some one dies, mark it by calling it their Death Day?
It is not the role of the grieving to be responsible for the feelings of those around them.
Gratitude. Mens Wellbeing have accepted my workshop Dancing with Death at Manshine Gathering May Day weekend. Joyous news
Funerals/life celebration. Today at coffee shop i complimented a man wearing a large bright colourful Hawian shirt.
He responded that he was going to a funeral /life celebration where the deceased had requested bright vibrant colours to be worn in celebration of their life.
He felt uplifted with this request and was enthusiastic about a Joyous life celebration for his friend.
Question:
How do you want people to dress at your life celebration?
Nick Cave book "Faith Hope and Carnage"
A quote page 151
"Grief reinvents us.
When I say grief i mean the second life we lead after trauma.
It feels more essential.
The way we respond to things are altered."
i concur from my lived experience.
How do you feel about this quote?
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