Rach Wilson - Relationship Coach For Couples With Neurodiverse Kids

hen you have neurodiverse kids, regular things that parents just have to do as par for the course, just aren't as simple...

Corey gets to start kindy (pre-school) next year but in addition to all of the regular questions and forms we had to fill in, we have to notify them that she's autistic and has speech apraxia because some places won't take kids with labels or they already have too many and can't get more resources.

If she's accepted then it's time to cue the additional load...

After that, they need me to email them in the reports and diagnosis letters for her so that they can fill out their extra forms and request an additional support resource for her class to support her.

After that we get extra forms to fill out that describe her particular struggles and what we do to help her. These forms can be quite lengthy and take a while to fill in...

Once she starts at kindy, I'll spend extra time helping her adjust to the new environment.

I'll spend lots of extra time with her teachers helping them to get familiar with her signs and language so they can understand her, as well as the warning signs that she's struggling, stuck on a fixed idea she can't let go of and what to do when she's in a meltdown or a rage, because the usual ways of handling it will only make it worse and she could hit out at them or other kids.

There are just so many additional things we have to think about, inform people of or do, over and above the usual things we have to do as parents...

So overall, yay for extra support and people who WANT to be and provide the best environment for her, boo to the extra work and hoops it takes to get through just to enrol her in a simple kindy. Something I took for granted as being easy when we had Kadi and Tylah.

I have come to accept that these things won't be clear cut and will have additional work for us.

When you look at this face, the reward in it is seeing that face smile, hearing her laugh and knowing she's happy.

I share this so those of you who don't have kids with high or special needs can get a glimpse into the life of your friends who are like us.

Awareness leads to compassion and we need more compassion in this world ❤️

So while Jaks has the beginnings of a chest infection, this little one was just running a bit extra warm this morning.

Her cough (which she’s had for months), sounded a bit worse and since I was getting Jaks checked, figured it would be worth just making sure her cough hasn’t gone to her chest…

Turns out she has a decent bout of tonsillitis 😳 She hasn’t given us any communication or indication that anything was hurting, she carried on mostly normally but not requested food, just bottles, which she does some days!

With her speech being extra difficult for her plus us having a lot of difficulty understanding her, it’s possible she tried to tell us in a way we completely missed but am really not sure 🤷🏼‍♀️

What is does potentially show is that she has a high pain threshold like her brother… The Dr said that any other kid would have been complaining by now… poor bubba!

Glad we got her checked because now, 6 hours later, her temp has spiked and now she’s miserable 😭 Drugs already on board so hopefully she feels better in the morning ❤️

Send prayers and healing for this little munchkin too please 🙏

Sick… again. This kid just can’t catch a break, at least not for long 😭

We’re working on rebuilding his gut health and trying to boost his immunity but it takes time and multiple supplements that we struggle, or can’t, get into him.

He has very restricted oral acceptance so new foods, and anything that has to go in his mouth, has numerous tests it has to go through to be accepted.

And if we put something in a syringe he doesn’t like, we run the risk of ALL things we put in a syringe, being rejected 🙁

So today we could use all your prayers and healing, and calm vibes particularly for the Dr’s visit. Last time we went he gave himself a blood nose he hurt himself so bad trying to get away.

We can’t delay it though… He’s got a cough and we can’t risk it developing into pneumonia again!

May today be easier on us both and may whatever he has be quick and easy to heal!

Thank you all in advance for your support again ❤️🙏❤️

Well after the last 2 weeks of caring for a sick little boy, everything that happened in Emergency and the various traumas experienced, being in hospital and the load of being ON for most of it, the split shifts between there and home with the other 2, the disrupted sleep and regular anxiety...

It's time for my body to catch up. Not that I'm getting much of a choice lol.

The respiratory virus the kids all had, that I thought I'd escaped, was just waiting until I was no longer needing to be ON and after getting home yesterday and finally relaxing, it got me.

So today is a bed day for me. Time for my body to process everything, to allow any emotions to surface and be processed from the trauma and anything else it's been holding onto that I haven't taken the time to feel.

This is such an important process... I call it a "defrag" and it's critical for the mental, emotional and physical health of anyone who has a life that has ongoing trauma - special needs parents, people caring for high needs loved ones whether they are sick or disabled in some way, and I'm sure many others but I'm so tired I apologise if I've missed you...

Most people don't take the time to defrag so the ongoing trauma, physical, mental and emotional load continues to build and steal the joy and happiness out of life. It can truly break you.

So this is me taking my own advice and shutting down for at least today, to take some quiet time and feel into the last few weeks, allowing it all to pour out and I may just binge on some NCIS in between ❤️

Rach out.

JAKSON UPDATE: We are headed home! Drip is out, hands are free, no more toe monitor or nurses touching him and he’s happy (not that his face is telling you that but trust me, he’s happy!). Fresh nappy on but OMG does he need a shower.

We have antibiotics for a few more days but Mum will be getting onto gut health stuff to get him back to good, knowing how easily his goes out.

He’s eating better today, making his happy and squelchy cricket noises (he only does these when he’s feeling better) and getting pretty active with the iPad (which will seemingly only be available in hospital and disappear for home).

He’s got enough energy to throw toast onto the floor and to discern the good pieces from the rejects to know which ones to throw away, so yay for having enough energy to care!!

He’s still not 100% and we’re expecting a few slower days ahead but day by day getting back to his normal self. Hopefully back to School early next week even if only for a few half days to start with. His teacher is missing him after all.

So thank you all again for your prayers, your healing, the support you have sent, asked for on our behalf or given over this time. I truly value each and every one of you for being a part of my network and village, and caring so much about us. Much love to you and your families too.

JAKSON UPDATE: It's been a long few days in hospital and a longer stay than expected. The original 48 hours on IV antibiotics didn't produce the healing results we expected. When he woke up yesterday (our original go home day), he had a higher fever, was distressed and looked even worse than he did the day before. Still not eating and refusing water, low urine output and generally exhausted and miserable...

The Dr's were concerned because his chest sounded better but he didn't appear to be! It seems he had some other infection somewhere that wasn't healing so they changed the antibiotics to a broader spectrum one to treat the something else.

Well this morning he woke up, no temp and hasn't needed anything to keep it down, then he ate a whole banana AND 1.5 pieces of toast over the course of the morning!!!!! Considering he has only had 1 piece of toast, 1/2 a banana and 3 small potato wedges in total over the last 7 days, this is HUGE. This was him having a FEAST!

So the Dr's are happy to see him finally progressing, and to be honest, he also has 2 very relieved parents today too. All things continuing to progress, he'll be able to come home tomorrow and then Kerry and I can go back to sleeping in the same bed like crazy people haha.

Thank you for all our angels who kept us fed, sane and as rested as possible during this time. It really takes a village and we are grateful to have such an amazing one ! Keep sending the healing and prayers, he's still got some healing to do but happy to report that as of today, he has turned a big corner towards wellness :D

Here we are again… poor kid has been really sick since Tuesday, and it’s not his ears. Waiting to see a Dr now.

We could use all of your prayers, healing and best intentions for the most amazing Dr’s, answers and solutions for our boy to get back to being well again ❤️🙏❤️

It’s been heartbreaking to see him so unwell and then having to bring him back to hospital to get poked, prodded and distressed just to get him help 😢

The Mumma and Dadda could use some prayers too please ❤️🙏❤️

My poor boy has yet another ear infection… I’ve lost count of how many he’s had in the last 4 months.

We officially now need to see an ENT having healed it both naturally and medically multiple times and it keeps reoccurring within 1-2 weeks after treatment stops 🙁

He doesn’t get a temp, no red cheeks or red ears so it’s not always clear it’s his ears that are the problem. We only know most times because of his behaviour… he had a 45 min meltdown at school today and was low capacity before and after, we had to pick him up early and he napped as soon as he got home… Then he’s his normal happy self!

Thank god for home Dr’s who come to us in his safe space. This Dr was awesome and did the checks fast but confirmed once again, BOTH ears are inflamed 😭

Send him healing and speedy appointment vibes please, it’s been a rough few months… we just want him out of pain more permanently ❤️

This is the face of a happy woman and it’s been a few years since I was here. Where is here? Thriving!

I just finished my first hop hop foundations class and man it was HARD! My body doesn’t move anywhere near as easily or as quickly as it used to… but it made me so happy just to be there!

Finally after 1.5 years in recovery from “hell year” which was hot on the heels of trying to recover from pregnancy and newborn oblivion among other things with Jaks. In reality, I have been in various stages of burn out, crisis and recovery since 2018.

My journey with 2 autistic and special needs littles has been challenging in so many ways, way more challenging than with my eldest 2 “neurotypicals” and way more than I expected when we decided to “go back for just one more” with Jaks.

In all honesty, the last 5 years has tested me, stretched me to my absolute ends, had me on my ass and laying on the floor of my rock bottom… But I’m still here. Not only am I still here but I have worked hard to recover and rebuild myself, as well as my relationship with hubby, and my family.

We have gone from barely surviving to thriving again and this is something worth celebrating because many couples who have autistic and/or special needs kiddos don’t always get back to thriving in between the hard times. And the hard times can last for long periods of time.

I now know how to manage survival and get back to thriving 😃 It’s why I need to be out there teaching others how to do it too.

I haven’t done it alone though… With the support of my best friends, family and other mothers who have been here before me, my network has been critical to becoming aware of the survival patterns that could have easily kept me from thriving so I could change them.

And finally I’m “here” 🤩

I feel alive again 😍

I feel excited with life and am enjoying more actual LIVING 😃

Even better is that we are still getting better, I am still getting better, and life is still getting better!

Have you got a plan to get back to thriving? Or are you struggling with survival? You deserve to be happy, healthy and excited with life. If you want to chat, I’m always here for you ❤️

New Earth Leadership is currently on the rise!

On June 21st, 22 high-level experts who specialise in spiritual growth and living in higher consciousness will be sharing tools and strategies about the inner spiritual self and spiritual business.

It's an honour to be a part of this awesome summit!

Register here: https://newearthleadershipsummit.com/RachWilson