Conscious Connections

💔 MODERN LOVE ~ RELATING IS F*CK*D 💔
(And Not in a Good Way) words by Zen Prem.
Read till the end …

I’ve been chatting with my kids again.
He’s 25. She’s 33. Both single.

Loving hearts. Old souls. Still believe in real love, which basically makes them unicorns in yoga pants these days.

We’ve been dissecting the absolute s**tshow that is modern dating.

Apparently, it’s not a boyfriend or girlfriend anymore, it’s a “casual connection. A situationship . A low-key vibe. An “energetic alignment” with someone you send memes to and maybe raw-dog on a Thursday, if Mercury isn’t in retrograde and your inner child isn’t triggered.

You don’t date anymore. You orbit each other’s nervous systems, lingering near closeness until one of you gets spooked and spirals into a six-week “self-growth journey” full of cacao ceremonies and carousel posts about boundaries.

Modern relating isn’t about love. It’s about not being the first to care.

“I love you” has become “haha that’s crazy.”

“I’m scared” has become “lol I’m chill tho.”

And when s**t gets real? You don’t talk. You “take space.” Which is modern speak for: Ghost them gently and hope they forget they ever mattered.

We’ve turned dating into a passive-aggressive Olympics where the gold medal goes to the most emotionally avoidant who can still microdose presence on someone’s stories while dying a little inside.

It’s not called commitment anymore, it’s now codependency…. don’t call it abandonment, … call it boundaries. … don’t call it love, … call it a trauma bond and do a TikTok dance about it in wide-legged linen pants.

Even the apps sound exhausted. Hinge. Bumble. Feeld. … Might as well be called: Maybe. Meh. Mistake.

People out there chasing “divine union” but can’t commit to a fu***ng coffee without rescheduling three times because their “vibe was off.”

Then there’s the Bonny Blue and Andrew Tate effect.

Bonny got famous for fu***ng a thousand men in a day and called it empowerment. Tate made millions teaching men how to treat women like dopamine dispensers.

This is what’s selling now. This is what’s being fed to young hearts.

And honestly? … At least the s*x god rockstars of my generation were fu**ed up in interesting ways.

They burned through love with chaos and poetry. They wrote songs about heartbreak They overdosed on passion. ( ok … and drugs) They loved big and broke loud.

Now? … We get newsletters about “staying unbothered” and influencers whispering detachment into ring lights while selling $997 courses on how not to give a f**k.

I’m a child of the sixties. Our s*x drive was guided by rock ‘n’ roll, not retweets. We didn’t need “energetic alignment” to f**k. We needed Bowie, a leather jacket, and one questionable idea.

Love wasn’t content, it was chaos and connection.

And don’t get me started on the Ta**ra theatre performances . Whole festivals of people eye-gazing around their wounds, wearing fu***ng costume masks, moaning in workshops, whispering “Beloved” on Sunday evening in temple space and ghosting you by Tuesday.
All performance , no presence.

Don’t get me wrong, real Ta**ra’s powerful.

But what we’re seeing now? It’s just cosplay. … Spiritual theatre with a soundtrack. You can’t f**k your way into enlightenment if you still disappear when someone cries at 3 a.m.

Real love starts after the act, when your nervous system is fried, when someone’s fu**ed up, messy and ashamed, and you stay anyway.

Now you ask someone what they want, and they give you a 20-minute TED Talk on nervous system dysregulation and “not being available for anything serious.” … Translation:… They want to use your soul as a therapist and your body like a slot machine with zero emotional accountability when it gets real.

So yes, I’ve been talking with my kids, watching them try to love in a world obsessed with detachment, fake filters, and vibes.

And I’ve got one question:

What the actual f**k did we leave them with?…

This generation isn’t broken. They’re just starving.

Starving for truth. Authenticity, For depth. For connection that can survive a hard night.

I grew with Leonard Cohen and poetry,

and now it’s Tinder and a fear of being the first to double-text.

So what advice can I give my kids ?

Stop idolising people who package disconnection as strength.

Stop following influencers who brand trauma and sell detachment as confidence.

Stop calling dysfunction “just how dating is now.”

And start choosing the ones who show up. Who say “I care” and mean it. Who don’t need a full moon and a fu***ng playlist to apologise.

Choose the ones who stay when you’re falling apart. Who see you without needing you to perform.

Who don’t need to win, just want to witness.

That’s how we find love again. Not the swipeable kind. Not the performance. But the kind that stays. That sees. That survives the storm.

Because love? … Love never stopped being real. We just stopped recognising it beneath all the noise.

And now? …. We get to remember.

So here’s the truth, kids, write this down:

You don’t find real love by performing better. You find it by showing the parts of yourself you used to hide. It’s not about regulating your nervous system. It’s about letting someone hold you when it’s shot to hell. It’s not about being “chill.” It’s about being honest, even when your voice shakes. Stop trying to become someone lovable. Start telling the truth about who you are. Be Fkn Authentic

Because real love?… It doesn’t want your fake fu***ng filters. It doesn’t need a brand.

It just needs you … Real raw … It wants your soul. And it will never ask you to disappear to be worthy of being seen.

Fully. Flawed. Unperforming.

- Zen Prem

…

This is powerful stuff, and something most of the younger generation have lost.

I went to a friends party the other weekend and the people there were mostly in their 20s and most of the interactions I witnessed between the guys and girls made me realise how clueless they are around how to connect, how to be intimate.

How much living in a world of iPhones and social media has changed everything.

It’s all become so performative in such a fake way.

People have to worry about getting to drunk and doing something stupid way more because there’s a good chance it will be filmed and shared with everyone.

This doesn’t allow the young ones to make the mistakes they need to to really get to know themselves.

This is why I am so passionate about working with young men. Giving them a safe space to ask the questions they are burning to find answers to and give them practical tips and sets to navigate the world of women and dating.

Want to work with me? Follow the link in my bio 😊

✨ New Course Launch! ✨

I’ve created something simple, beautiful and powerful for anyone wanting to deepen intimacy…both with themselves and with their partner.

‘Turned on & Tuned in’ is a 6-week journey designed to bring you home to your body, your presence, and your connection.

Each week includes a short, easy-to-follow module with journal prompts, embodiment practices, and optional partner exercises.
No pressure. No overwhelm. Just real, practices and reflections to help you know yourself and/or your partner better.

And it’s just $9.99.
Built on Stan Store, which I’m absolutely loving – it’s easy to use, super affordable, and links right to our socials.

If you’re curious…
Come take a step toward more connection, more depth, and more love.

🖤 https://stan.store/NathalieB

“Some women turn frogs into princes.
You, my dear, turn princes into frogs.”
— Alison Armstrong, The Queen’s Code

Oof. Brutal, right?
But when you understand where it’s coming from… it’s actually an invitation. To shift how we see men. And how we see ourselves.

In The Queen’s Code, Alison Armstrong explores the unconscious ways women (often unknowingly) emasculate men, by criticising, controlling, or mothering them out of fear or frustration… while secretly longing to be cherished, ravished, and met fully.

This isn’t about blame.
It’s about awareness.
And learning a new language. One that creates more connection, respect, and polarity (without self-abandonment).

If you’ve read it, I’m curious what landed for you.
And if you haven’t… this quote is your nudge.

TOO MUCH? TOO DIRTY? TOO HONEST?

Do you ever struggle to express your desires to your partner?

There was a time, in most of my past relationships and even at the start of my current one, when I found it really hard to speak up about what I wanted.

I’d spend the whole day going over it in my head, practicing what I might say…
And then often, I wouldn’t say anything at all.

Have you ever done that?

I was scared they’d think it was weird, too much, or too dirty.
That I’d be laughed at, or rejected.

But over time, I learnt the power of vulnerable conversations.
I realised that if someone truly cares about you, they’ll want to know what you desire. And if it’s right for them too, they’ll want to meet you there.

And if it’s not? You talk about it. You find a middle ground. Something that feels good for both of you.

Because speaking our desires, even the edgy ones, is how we stay true to ourselves.
It’s how we build connection that’s real.

What would it feel like to give voice to one of your desires this week?

Please welcome this incredible woman to our directory 🔥

Alejandra is an Intimacy Coach at The Ta***ic Journey, helping women between 20-45 to gain the confidence they need to establish epic relationships.

Whether you are in a relationship already and want to up-level your intimacy with your partner, or you are in the dating world, she is here to guide you to gain a better understanding of yourself, so you can have the most fulfilling relationships.

Her coaching containers are based in the somatic methodology developed by Layla Martin, and it pairs well with her Crystal Yoni Egg Coaching and Sacred Female Sexuality.

Alejandra also holds a coaching space for couples wanting to explore and deepen their intimate connection. She guides them through a series of rituals and practices targeted at understanding their dynamic, and explore the realm of energy work and Sacred Sexuality.

For more info and to find out how you can work with Alejandra, please visit her website www.thetantricjourney.com.au

EVERYTHING JUST IS

It is the fact that we want to control things that causes us pain.

WE ALL LIKE THE CHASE

Well I think most of us would admit we do anyway.

AND THAT’S OK!

But how do we integrate that into our relationship/s?

I feel the key is to remember that arousel comes from desire, so create the desire!

Plan a date night and find ways to build it over the day leading up to it.

The say foreplay starts in the morning for women and it really does. Arpuse us and leave us wanting and the night will really end up being one to remember.

The chase is also the reason its great to get time apart.

Some of the hottest times of your relationship can be when your partner is away as interacting online can allow you to show a side of yourself that maybe in person is just too scary to bring.

I know that’s what’s happened for me.

SO DON’T BE AFRAID TO LET YOUR PARTNER GO!

Theres so much growth for you both and the relationship in having time apart.

What are your tricks for keeping these feelings alive in your relationship?

This is why everyone should shop at the farmers market ❤️

Whenever I approach Jumping Red Ant, I immediately want to make ratatouille, or caponata – any of those gorgeous jammy European braises of capsicum and tomatoes and zucchini and eggplant. These, however, are merely some of the beautiful things John Atkin has been growing so successfully on his property up north, in that rich red volcanic soil, for over 20 years now.

He didn’t start out farming, however. A variety of careers, including running a hotel and working in the fitness industry, led him ultimately to purchasing property, some 30 years ago, at Duranbah, 50 metres above sea level. In 2002, he ‘seriously started to farm’, he tells me. ‘I decided to run it as a business.’

It’s been a long slow growth toward the success John now enjoys – and that was always the plan. ‘There’s so much produce!’ he says, adding that it’s a ‘good growing climate’, and at that altitude, there’s no danger of frosts. He grows tomatoes all year round. Tropical fruits do well. To the twelve staff members he currently employs he’s about to add two more.

And now there are other ‘strings’, as he refers to them as, to his bow. His daughter Brianna is gradually taking over as John chooses to step back and concentrate on other possibilities (like boutique farm-stays, cooking classes, developing the range of sauces they’ve started selling at the stall). ‘We want to increase production of our natives’, he tells me. ‘It’s Brianna’s vision and direction.’

If anyone is qualified to give tips to the home gardener it’s John. Without hesitation he says: ‘Invest in your soil. Put carbon back, with mulch, with worms.’ Consider companion planting, he adds – growing plants together whereby they assist each other, increasing biodiversity in your garden.

His last tip is to support a farmers’ markets. ‘It’s the only way’, he says, ‘that farming will survive!’

Jumping Red Ant are at New Brighton on Tuesdays from 8 – 11am and Mullumbimby on Fridays from 7 – 11am

Me: Hello God.
God: Hello...
Me: I'm falling apart. Can you put me back together?
God: I'd rather not.
Me: Why?
God: Because you're not a puzzle.
Me: What about all the pieces of my life that fall to the ground?
God: Leave them there for a while. They fell for a reason. Let them be there for a while and then decide if you need to get any of those pieces back.
Me: You don't understand! I'm breaking up!
God: No, you don't understand. You're transcending, evolving. What you feel are growing pains. You're getting rid of the things and people in your life that are holding you back. The pieces are not falling down. The pieces are putting in place. Relax. Take a deep breath and let those things you no longer need fall down. Stop clinging to pieces that are no longer for you. Let them fall. Let them go.
Me: Once I start doing that, what will I have left?
God: Only the best pieces of yours.
Me: I'm afraid to change.
God: I keep telling you: YOU'RE NOT CHANGING! YOU'RE BECOMING!
Me: Becoming, Who?
God: Becoming who I created you to be! A person of light, love, charity, hope, courage, joy, mercy, grace and compassion. I made you for so much more than those shallow pieces you decided to adorn yourself with and that you cling to with so much greed and fear. Let those things fall off you. I love you! Don't change! Become! Don't change! Become! Become who I want you to be, who I created. I'm gonna keep telling you this until you remember.
Me: There goes another piece.
God: Yes. Let it be like this.
Me: So... I'm not broken?
God: No, but you're breaking the darkness, like dawn. It's a new day. Become!! Become who you really are!!"

The primary desire of all humans is to feel fully accepted.

Accepted just as we are. This is what we feel when we pass to the afterlife. Fully accepted.

The only way to fulfil this desire during life is to fully accept yourself. Every part of you.

Intimate relationships are tools to help get us to this point. When we are in a relationship with someone they become a mirror to for us, allowing us to see our unconscious habits, behaviours, fears and blocks and until we become aware of something we are unable to shift it.

It is my belief that in order to find “true love” you need to move through the relationships you assigned to yourself before you were born. These relationships are meant to be, they just aren’t meant to be forever. You have placed them there to teach you the things you need to learn to come to your true love relationship. This is the relationship that feels harmonious and easeful and the person you will journey the rest of your life with.

So if you find there is someone who keeps coming into your life, you feel attraction plus other things but don’t feel they’re exactly right, my advice is to get curious and dive into the relationship. It might not be “true love” but “true love” may not be able to come to you until you’ve grown in the way you need to from that relationship.