The Joy and Happiness Coach

TRAUMA!!!

We all know what it feels like
We’ve all experienced at least one trauma in our lifetime

Most of us will try and bury it
Tell ourselves it doesn’t exist
Blame something/someone else for situations that don’t turn out positively

But if we actually tune into the trauma and use it as a tool to process and observe current situations, it can be one of your most useful tools.

My experience has seen a lot of people focus on the incident of the trauma, which then keeps them in a STUCK pattern for life and reliving the event over and over.

If we bring more focus to the tools we’ve gained from the trauma, we are more likely to thrive.

The lessons I’ve learnt from various trauma’s are that I don’t tolerate abusive behaviour very well. The moment I feel unsafe, I’m out!
I would say personal safety is a priority to me.

What tools have you gained from your trauma?

SHAME, plays a huge part in our lives.

Whether we create the shame for ourselves or we are shamed by others, it has the same impact of unworthiness or not good enough!

Unresolved shame can lead to feelings of depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. Shame may also be a symptom of some mental health diagnoses, such as body dysmorphia, or the product of a traumatic experience, such as r**e or sexual assault.

When faced with shame, the brain reacts as if it were facing physical danger, and activates the sympathetic nervous system generating the flight/fight/freeze response.

Shame is the uncomfortable sensation we feel in the pit of our stomach when it seems we have no safe haven from the judging gaze of others. We feel small and bad about ourselves and wish we could vanish. Shame is a universal emotion.

It’s important for us to break the shame culture to encourage healthier communities 💛

Listen to your internal voice
Listen to how you speak to others
🧡🤍💛
***deprevention ***de

Let’s talk Vulnerability!

Most of us struggle to show vulnerability because our internal voices/conditioning that yells loudly
“You’re weak”
“You’re not good enough”
“You’re less”

However, when we see others at their most vulnerable, we see strength and courage.

It takes practice, trust and a whole lot of courage to allow vulnerability.

Vulnerability = authentic self 🧡🤍

It’s the deepest truth we often keep hidden from the world because of the fear of judgement.


Examples of vulnerability
🌼 Asking for help
🌼 Asking for what you need
🌼 Saying No/Yes
🌼 Expressing feelings openly
🌼 Disagreeing with the majority
🌼 Ending a friend/relationship

I encourage you to lean into your vulnerability and free yourself from the chains that keep you from having what you want in the experience called life 💛🤍💛

Kindness

………….the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate.

Kindness is a type of behavior marked by acts of generosity, consideration, empathy or concern for others, without expecting praise or reward.

Kindness comes from the purest of our human instincts

Kindness between humans is what we call humanity

Acts of kindness are contagious!!

Pass it on

Kind is Love ❤️ Love is Kind

To be able to achieve life goals you will need a set of personal standards

Personal standards are mostly a set of behaviors that we choose to consistently indulge in.

These behaviors are built upon expectations you have of yourself in a variety of situations. They are in some respects performance standards. In other words, they lay down the benchmarks of performance for your life.

Your personal standards are reflected in how you treat yourself and in how you treat others. What’s more, they are also reflected in how you expect to be treated by other people.

Personal standards are linked to self esteem
If you allow someone to walk all over you, it’s a sign that your self esteem is low
To raise your self esteem, you will first need to raise your personal standards

Any time you sincerely want to make a change, the first thing you must do is to raise your standards. – Anthony Robbins
💪

When you gracefully accept all parts of you, you take full responsibility for all your actions and reactions.

What does this look like, I hear you say!

It happens when you stop blaming & shaming.

It happens when you stop looking externally for fault.

Everything starts and ends with you!!

If someone says something hurtful to you, it’s only hurtful if you allow that to pe*****te you and change the way you think or feel about yourself.

Your reaction/response will make the difference.

Radical Responsibility is owning your emotions, responses, reactions and actions.

It sounds like a tough call hey?

However, if we are to be truly happy,… this is what we need to learn for ourselves ♥️

with love
♥️🤍🧡

Don’t get me wrong here!!

We learn lessons in all kinds of ways

Reading
Podcasts
Speakers
Media
Educational institutes
Personal interactions

And all of them are lessons,….

When we personally experience it, we gain WISDOM

We understand how it feels

We understand the dynamic and impacts it can have on us and others

WISDOM……is a perspective

It is individualised

My WISDOM may not suit your life, however it will guide mine!!

with love
🧡🤍♥️
💪

SHINE with the beauty of your own love ♥️

No one else can make you better or worse 💖

It’s all up to YOU 💜
💪

The AFL of radical responsibility.

✨Acknowledge
✨Forgive
✨Learn

For change to happen, something needs to change
Keep doing things one way, the same outcome is assured
The problem is not the problem

It's not until you bring awareness to what the real issue is, that you can then acknowledge it.

Once acknowledging it, you will pass through the feelings and meanings you have attached to it. (feelings are not fact)

Forgiveness is a very potent stage
Letting go of the anger, resentment or blame

The learning stage is for you to reflect
And Understand how you will do things differently

Radical Responsibility is the ability to take full responsibility for everything in your control including the consequences.

This action also promotes empowerment and reduces external blaming.

Way too often we get caught up in the emotion of hating on other’s because of our own beliefs and judgements.

This only creates more hate, more judgement and separation.

If we understand where this emotion is coming from, we can then take action to change that.

Fear comes from uncertainty which may raise emotions of anger, sadness, hate, hopelessness.

All these emotions are our responsibility and our response/reaction to an external event.

It can feel like a loss of control

Being kind to yourself and others can heal you and create a path forward.

The world needs more kindness!

It’s your secret weapon ✨

✨💜✨💜✨💜

PAIN
HURT
TRAUMA

We’ve all experienced the intensity of these

Mostly it’s difficult to see through to the other side

It feels like the whole world is against you

The heaviness in your body feels like someone poured concrete all over you

In these moments we become self absorbed and seeing the possibilities seems impossible!

Stay with your emotion
Allow the pain to be present in you
Allow the anger to rise
Allow the sadness
Allow all of it

Remembering that pain is your response/reaction to an external event

YOU MAY NOT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU BUT YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE ACTIONS YOU TAKE TO HEAL

Blaming externally for your pain will keep you caged like a wild animal

It will never end.......

💜 Learn to heal
💜Take steps to let go of the pain
💜Stop the blaming on the external source
💜Learn how to understand and take radical responsibility
💜Change your perspective
💜Remember this too will pass
💜You only have this one moment, use it wisely ✨

Radical responsibility is when you ....
Identify
Acknowledge
Own
Accept

✨✨All emotions, action,, responses, reactions and consequences that you are experiencing ✨✨