Louise Mathias Barrister Mediator FDRP Leadership Coach

How many of you have gone into a mediation halfheartedly? 🙋‍♀️

From my own experience as a barrister|mediator (and previous litigator), I can share three common things that show up you dip your toe in and are not fully committed (this is not a criticism):

1. The first BIG hurdle arises: people makeup stories in their minds, lose interest, and focus on why they can't settle (or reach their goal).

2. They get distracted easily. If they're not fully committed to settlement and the reasons why they want to settle, they allow excuses to distract them, and they lose momentum and give up entirely.

3. People approach mediation defeated, believing it can't be settled. Then they don't show up as the best version of themselves and act, communicate and think in ways that don't support them to create a more positive process that makes them even more successful.

Whether we are on a diet and trying to lose weight, want to have better relationships, have more energy, be more productive, or be more successful as skilled negotiators and leaders, dipping our toes in halfheartedly and wanting to succeed at "it' won't get the results we want.

When we're halfhearted, we often allow our fears (yes, they are real) and don't go away to limit us.

When we are hungry for more, believing all we need is "20 seconds of insane courage", and we decide to take action and commit to that decision and action, even though we fee, sometimes intense fear... that's when real changes occur.

Be hungry for more, and go for 'it'...Not content with dipping your toe in but hungry to succeed at the next level as you master something meaningful to you, ---- you'll build your courage with every step you take moving forward.

Have you ever been uncomfortable at mediation and then didn't settle?

I have, and I was left wondering what I did wrong, was I good enough, could I have done more?

In her video below, Louise shares three things she found that empowered her and helped her go upstream to ensure she felt confident regardless of the outcome.

Find out more:

https://lnkd.in/gfrgqdF

Her Excellency the Honourable Margaret Beazley AC QC and her husband, Mr Dennis Wilson, hosted a reception at Government House for a few LEC |LPAB alumni. 🎉

It was an absolute pleasure to meet Sean Farrell and revisit with Samantha Davies and Todd Noon. These lawyers, early in their legal careers, will bring so much value to an employer fortunate enough to have them as a part of their teams! 💯

When I started my legal studies, I was 41 years of age; I wanted to become a lawyer, and I too chose to study through the |

The reality was that I hadn't finished high school many years earlier, I was working FT and had little time, and I didn't know if I was smart enough to complete the course to become a lawyer.

I knew nothing about law or lawyers. What was I thinking?😁 🤷🏼‍♀️

I could have stopped and allowed doubts, fears, excuses (no time, I haven't finished high school - focused on what could go wrong? )and uncertainties ( Will I fail, waste my time and money, will anyone give me a chance, will I get a job?).

I thought I had valid reasons and beliefs to stop me from taking action.

I had to make a choice:

1️. Stop wanting 'more', keep the status quo - safe.
2️ Procrastinate until I believed the 'time was right" and I was capable or
3️ Take the first action step and see what's possible

I decided on #3, and I took the first step.

I didn't need to know the whole staircase; I just started.

I enrolled in the first subject, "Legal Institutions" (Susan Carter was one of my lecturers). I placed fourth. I questioned, was that a fluke?

I decided to take the next step and do the next subject, "contracts" 😏 I got a "pass" (all those contract lawyers out there, I tip my hat to you - not my passion) 😁

I had to keep re-enrolling myself to take the next step and the one after to continue to take forward moving action, do another subject, and another one, two at a time, then three at a time while working FT.

In the last 18 months, I worked FT and enrolled in 4 subjects consecutively (and I did well academically).

It was because of this cumulative action that gave me more and more confidence, and I achieved my goal.

Why?

I made a choice, and I took uncomfortable action often.

All I needed to do initially was make a choice. The choice will reveal itself as the right or the wrong choice. At least I knew.

I can't handle choices #1 or #2 because I want to know; to do otherwise keeps me up at night.

I go for it. I fail. I know
I go for it, and I succeed. I know.

I'll choose #3 every time. It's on the other side of the uncomfortable choice and actions where we find the best stuff.

"You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. ...... And I promise you, something great will come of it. - Benjamin Mee - We Brought A Zoo



See below.

We should all be disturbed by inaction and stagnation.

Is what you are doing today going to get you where you want to go in 12 months, be the leader you want to be in 12 months, and have the levels of influence and impact you want in 12 months?

Watch Louise's video to help you achieve the best 12 months in your life and leadership.

Go to www.louisemathias.com.au for more information

Leaders FIRST - know yourself, be yourself and be honest with yourself!

How often have you made up stories to appease yourself (and others) and explain how you felt and behaved in a situation but not honestly, to cover what you were genuinely thinking or feeling, to avoid being honest?

Are you being honest with yourself every day? Do you know yourself? Are you clear on your strengths and your weaknesses?

Do you sabotage yourself and fear success equally as you fear failure?

What skills do you need to upskill? Do you need to communicate with more influence and manage your emotions more effectively to negotiate with more impact?

Do you need to learn how to have difficult conversations often or take regular courageous action knowlearn what action to take) to address poor behaviour, set boundaries, hold people accountable, and be authentic, even when you are fearful?

You can have relationships, status, money and power. Still, you'll never reach your full potential as a leader or in life, feeling fulfilled, having the courage and confidence to be honest with yourself will allow you to go after what you want and get the results you deserve.

If you think you're being honest with yourself, ask yourself - are you constantly complaining about how things are but not willing to take different steps/actions to make a difference and change situations/mindset/performance/productivity/communication/culture/engagement/negotiation/mediation?

Are you often telling yourself 'it's not cool, too risky, what will people think if I did X, not the right time, too busy, the economy is too uncertain" etc., to make changes or improve anything? If so, you need to start being honest with yourself.

Leaders and negotiators, the uncertain times we live in demand movement, forward action and self-awareness (EQ) to get clear on why you do what you do as leaders and negotiators, firstly being honest with yourself, then you can reach higher performances, build courage, trustworthy and confident leaders, productive and engaged teams, healthy conflict resolution skills, and personal lives that thrive... showing up fully even when you don't know the outcome.

What will be your biggest regret in life, career, and leadership if you continue to be dishonest with yourself?



Credit: Bizaro.com

The scary feeling of fear of failure isn't going away; it isn't supposed to.

Accepting this fact gives freedom at mediation, as a leader and in life, because we:

💡 won't wait to feel strong before we take action

💡 take risks often; we won't gauge fear as a signal to stop taking action

💡 won't try to engineer all risk out of every decision because of fear about consequences (including what others may think); as a result, we don't create short-sighted, short and long-term decisions.

A leader’s ability to instil confidence and courage in others to take risks in times or situations where fear and uncertainty are high(at mediation, in personal and professional life, in the office - LIFE) is directly proportional to their willingness to take bold action themselves when they are fearful and have doubts.

The essence of a courageous, confident leader, culture, and negotiator is their ability to take decisive action despite fear, uncertainty, and ambiguity.

They step up in a big way recognising that the only way forward is to learn to live with – and lead through – fear.

They're confident in themselves and composed to take hold of and advance opportunities - they take risks, value learning, see mistakes as gifts to learn from, and are willing to leave behind what doesn't serve them, their teams, as they tackle problems head-on, creating more short and long-term success.

Does that sound like somebody you aspire to be as a leader or negotiator at mediation (or in life)?

Do you lead yourself and your teams confidently through chaos and uncertainty, able to manage stress, keep productivity and engagement high, and have mental, physical and emotional resilience?

NOW is the time to adopt a performance-driven, fully-engaged, achiever mindset, so you push forward and don't get pulled back years.

Find out more by following the link below:
https://lnkd.in/gDANVYSw

All courageous and effective leaders have crucial shared features: they effectively negotiate, engage in difficult conversations, and are willing to persuade others, reducing resistance rather than creating roadblocks.

Negotiation skills, like leadership skills, can be partly innate. However, they are primarily learned, practised, grown and mastered over time.

Are you working with people who will help you grow your skills?

Because these skills will positively impact your entire life, relationships, professional reputation, career, confidence and results!

Find out more in the link below:
https://lnkd.in/gfrgqdF

What would you have liked to tell yourself at graduation, knowing what you know now?

I had the privilege of attending the LPAB Graduation Ceremony at Sydney University as a member of the LPAB Examinations Committee.

To watch the graduates proudly and joyously receive their diplomas, remembering the hard work, determination, motivation and self-sacrifice required to reach the finish line at LPAB ----- was rewarding!

The honourable Justice Emmett AO, Mr David Bennett AC QC, Susan Carter (Director of the Law Extension Committee), and Angelo Bilias (NSW Law Society) were some of the members of the official party.

Mr Bennett AC QC gave a humourous speech to all of the graduates, relevant even to experienced practitioners (OK, maybe not the recommendation ----only marry another lawyer - don't have a mixed marriage). 🤣 🤣

What would I have to myself at graduation with the knowledge and experience in law that I have now?

Continue to be authentic and confident with your various skills and abilities, knowing you can always learn, upskill and improve to master new skills.

You don't have to be masterful at new things; even if others expect perfection, being imperfect doesn't mean you're incompetent.... just begin, give it your best, make mistakes and learn and improve on your way to excellence.

Take your time, and you'll find your place where you can make your most significant difference.

"What others think of me is their choice; what I think of myself is my choice" - Unknown.

A King Wood Malleson survey found the 'chief concern of organisations’ was attracting and retaining the skilled workers needed to navigate post-pandemic uncertainty and opportunities.'

"Attracting and retaining skilled labour (79.2 per cent) was identified as the area of greatest opportunity or concern, followed by challenges from more comprehensive labour market constraints and skills shortages (52.3 per cent),' KWM noted.

It said, "The focus on people is a “marked departure” from recent surveys."

Exceptional employees who become disheartened, unproductive, disengaged, and stop caring as they bide their time until they get another job are not usually due to the role itself, the position or the organisation, but poor leadership.

Your leaders will either attract and retain skilled talent or be the #1 reason good talent leaves and won't work with them.

Often, the hidden factors about leadership are the ones you don't hear about in the exit interview and are the real reasons that cause people to leave their jobs....the leaders.

Find out more by following this link:
https://www.louisemathias.com.au/coaching%20&%20consulting



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‘ESG is now BAU’, says BigLaw firm’s report A new report from a global law firm details leading concerns for Australian business leaders at this critical juncture, as well as their headline ESG priorities. King & Wood Mallesons (KWM) has rele

New and emerging leaders, are you willing to learn and grow so you reach your full potential and become the best leader you can possibly be, performing at higher levels, personally and professionally and getting results others envy?

If you do, find out more by following this link:https://lnkd.in/gDANVYSw