Maylands Muthapuckas

MUTHAPUCKAS WIN

the hearts of the Street Roller Hockey League, going down 12-5 in their knockout final against twice Canley Cup winners Mindarie Molotovs.

With too many missed opportunities in front of open goals during the first period it was not looking good at 7-1. However with the knowledge we were the obvious crowd favorites and a Cinderella story to finish, the captain Harry rounded off his ha-trick and Keelan "Big Dog" slotted a hail mary from the halfway line. The second period ending 4-8 with the molotovs getting their only goal in the last 30s of play. The watermelon cruiser Harry had in the car on the way was obviously wearing off, only able to find the back of the crates one more time to the 'tovs 4 and so the muthapuckas bow out.

Snaps below from the Roller Tour De Fridge a couple of weeks back. We didn't win that either, but we also didn't end up with a torn off butcheek like Nelly from the Hungry Spot Heroes so shakas for 'erryone

For the first time in franchise history the muthapuckas have MADE THE PUCKING PLAYOFFS. Sitting one spot out of the finals with one catch up game left against the Dianella Demons everyone was on edge. As it turned out we didn't need to worry, the demons forfeited and we finished 28th. This week we go up against 5th placed Mindarie Molotovs.

Here's a photo of Harry during last weekends Roller Tour Da Fridge taking a selfie with his namesake in the Karakatta Cemetery for one of the challenges. Bring on the tovs'

Sunday afternoon saw the Muthapuckas taking on a surprisingly very undermanned Karrakatta GRIM JOBS. We considered lending them some players but thought f**k'em and pumped them 10-3 instead. Keelan "Big Dog" O'Neil netted two in the crates and being his birthday had celebratory funnels

THIS TIME LAST YEAR
Last year the Karrakatta GRIM JOBS showed us a good time, but that's it. We were left feeling pretty average after so we're back for the wine and dine we were promised.

Heavy recruiting over the off season from both sides should add some shade to this seasons biggest grudge match. Can the Marsh brothers prove their worth or will our Winton duo come through? I don't have the answers, I just have high intensity, low quality, above recommended daily alcohol intake street hockey to hype

Introducing super limited edition Muthapuckas flag

THE YELLOW ARE IN THE YELLOW
After a big win over the weekend 14-2 against the chai lattes your friendly neighbourhood Muthapuckas have slunk into the tail end of the playoffs.
3 rounds left in the season

In our first and probably only player profile I introduce Alex "get rekt" Caldera
Height: tallish
Weight: yeah he's got a lil round the middle
Cry: all the time. Lil bitch
Description: with more natural body hair than a wookie, it is rumoured Ashley and Martin farm his back hair for "natural hair replacement". Joining the team mid season he has fast established himself as a proud carrier of the "Leslie/Versluis" STI of the league; EGT (excessive goal tending). However with more stacks per game than goals saved yung caldera won't stop, and can't stop. He comes in like a get-rekting ball.

Catch him today as the Muthapuckas only representative in the All Stars match, up the mighty North Duds!

Coldcuts vs Muthapuckas rescheduled!!!

8pm Thursday night @ Loretto Primary School

We've been hyping this game for so long I've run out of smack to talk about them.

Lit up like Friday night at the G it was a throwdown to end all others yesterday at the Mt Hawthorn Street Festival, except the other team didn't turn up. After training all day at the paddo in preparation for our game against the coldcuts we instead faced a Paul "motley" Crew of Beef, Banter Lords and others legends who I can't remember their team origins. In a sizzling affair of sundown shlick hockey; sticks were snapped, blades were broken and Bradley "pocket rocket" Winton put away a couple for his 21st*. As the last period rounded out no one was too sure of the score so we went into overtime, apparently we were up 8-6 but I'd say the real winner last night was hockey.

*post goal celebrations pictured below

This morning we got a call from our spirit animal, the number one Muthapucka in the business. The gracious Samuel L. And he said he saw a sign that we were going to destroy the kermits today. He said he was sick of these mo*********ng frogs south of the mo*********ng river.
If you wish to see fu**ed frogs, come to Kent st high school at 4pm this afternoon.

Note. Samuel L Jackson may not have called us but pulp fiction was on TV this morning. I'm not sure if strike forward Andrew Winton was still ruined from last night and imagined Samuel was talking to him or not but it's a sign none the less. Hockey hockey!!

Muthapuckas squad rolling through Flosstradamus

📷 - of life

Sundee hockey. The best thing for your hangover besides not going out the night before