27/09/2023
All attention is on the birthday boys tonight as we look to play against Futsal Lads in the highly anticipated Lads derby.
Birthday boy number 1 is hoping to sniff out goals tonight, it’s too bad that his nose is still numb from Saturday night. If history tells us anything, then Elio will find himself lost on the court for a full 40 minutes. It’s a good thing Adria has his find my iPhone so we might find him after all.
More importantly, birthday boy number 2 is eager to do well tonight. After beating the sexual assault allegations during the week, he’s finally out of court and onto the Futsal court. I wish I could say Matt is a good player, but I’m pretty sure his girlfriend is better at Futsal than him, and she hasn’t even learnt to walk yet. That being said, he’s feeling confident tonight. We spoke to Matt before the game and here’s what he has to say:
“I really hope my cousins are on the opposite tonight, because I plan on fu***ng them for 45 minutes straight” Wise words, it’s a mystery he was ever in court in the first place.
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