CrashCamp

https://edition.cnn.com/2022/01/03/health/covid-weight-loss-wellness/index.html?utm_medium=social&utm_content=2022-01-03T12%3A15%3A03&utm_term=link&utm_source=twCNN

Because we care about your health, Crash Camp has set up multiple drive thru "rapid fat test" centres where our experts will assess your bodyfat levels. If you are deemed overweight we will quarantine you (for your own safety) in one of our Crash Camp facilities where you will train with us & eat whole foods until you are one again a healthy BMI and can re-enter society and are no threat to yourself or others.

Can weight loss help protect against Covid-19? In the holiday season, when the average American can easily pack on a few pounds, experts say there is another reason to pay attention to your weight: Covid-19.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Just remember:

What you do between New Year and Christmas is what counts, not the other way round.

Saturday Stories - The 'Peckening'

Some rare movies can have a plot line that has a bit of everything - action, drama, comedy, si-fi & even horror.

I had front row seats to such a movie the other day except it wasn't a movie - it was real life.

Buying my usual weekly groceries in Woolies & as per usual, picked the slowest moving checkout line. However this time it wasn't due to the L plate checkout operator, but rather a boomer couple that were putting on quite a show. Doreen & Bob looked like they were shopping for a Christmas feast and Bob was delegated the job of unloading the trolley on the conveyor belt. Doreen, reading a magazine in a majestic looking moo moo, was also multitasking managing Bobs duties when he made a huge error of placing a previously bought Aldi item on the conveyor. Doreen seized the opportunity to raise her voice and chastise Bob so everyone could hear. Bob now red faced quickly fumbled at the offending item and knocked over the bbq sauce in the scuffle. Doreen then kicked it up a notch and proceeded to tell Bob how utterly useless he was until he corrected his hainess error.

The tut tutting & henpecking continued until Doreen zeroed in on her next victim - the checkout lady who couldn't activate Doreens Woolies Christmas discount voucher. Well, all hell broke loose & Doreen wasn't budging until every manager had been summoned to fix the issue. Bob now looked relieved the pressure was finally off him and quickly turned into his wives ally hoping to score points for berating staff for their lack of customer service. Turns out Doreen hadn't actually activated the online voucher & and had to shuffle off in a huff with her tail between her moo moo. I can only imagine the rest of Bobs day trip loading & unloading in the giant 4WD and back to the floral decorated 1/4 acre manicured block in the Hills.

Ive seen this scenario play out before many many times in many different ways but the antagonist is almost exclusively "Doreen" in the relationship.

But then it occurred to me that the real villian in the movie is not "Doreen". It's Bob.

Note: Of course a role reversal would have security, police and swat team deployed to arrest Bob for domestic violence and assault.

Shaming your partner in front of others is a power play, pure and simple & on no occasion is it part of a healthy relationship. You are a united front.

However the Bobs of the male species have only themselves to blame. At some point "Bobs" relinquish the dominant role and fall into the submissive role - whether thats to keep the peace, or just death by a thousand cuts, this forces Doreen to take the leadership role - something she didn't want whether she understands it or not.

Any Bobs out there please note. Doreen will destroy you. Not because she wants to, but because you gave her the power to do so. A power she never wanted, but must enact and see it through, to remove you for being weak. This evolutionary trait is hardwired in the female firmware for the survival of the species. I didn't make the rules, nature did.

So, how to not be like Bob?

1- Get & stay fit (this should be obvious but if you lift and are strong, chances are your strength manifests itself across the spectrum of the relationship).

2. Maintain Frame - Frame is everything. Always be aware of the subconscious balance of whose frame in which you are operating. Always control the Frame, but resist giving the impression that you are.

3. See point 1 & 2.

A good starting point for any Bob reading this is to draw a line in the sand and get your ass to Crash Camp before it's too late and you also end up forever picking up the sauce bottle.

Breaking News: Government considers mandating exercise, fast food passports & shopping trolley checks on people with 40+ BMI, because this time it really is 'for your health'.

Latest reports are that gyms are seeing panic hiring of personal trainers with some gyms imposing session limits.

Crash Camp stocks hit all-time high as CEOs mandate at least 2 sessions plus never ending booster sessions.

The Coronavirus Attacks Fat Tissue, Scientists Find The research may help explain why people who are overweight and obese have been at higher risk of severe illness and death from Covid.

Refuse to coast the year out. Start before the the new year. New years resolutions are for the normies.

Classic crash camp on tomorrow

Crash Camp Slugfest #03 is on tomorrow rain, hail or shine. We have a designated under cover area with enough room to throw plenty of haymakers.

Coaches Rhino & Jaws are level 1 boxing coaches with hundreds, if not thousands of rounds experience running boxing sessions.

Rhinos fight record is 378 wins-0 losses (footy field)
Jaws fight record is 2 wins -0 losses in the ring.

We're looking forward to putting on a good show, pumping out our favourite tunes, having some fun and doing some high intensity cardio.

See you there 7am.

Untill I logged on Twitter today I had no idea it was . Didn't hear a peep from fb, tv, radio etc.

Then I remembered it's common for Google to virtue signal for almost anything these days with a doodle of some sort so I thought I'd check there. Nope, nothing.

This is the part where you might expect this ghostwriter to complain that no one cares about men. Nope, not today.

But then I thought, does it even matter?

Before I riff on why, I remembered after ranting about this over dinner one night when Mrs Ghostwriter made a good point about the obvious disparities between men & women that now exist in a gynocentric society - and that point was that its our fault that men simply don't screech loud enough for help, funding, medical research etc etc. And she's right. Even with the current "toxic masculinity" culture and constant war on men, we just don't screech loud enough, if at all.

And I think I know why.

Its because google knows men are not here for silly days and parties but for grind and responsibilities.

Men don't really want to be celebrated by big cringeworthy virtue signalling corporations anyway.

Men just want the respect of few fellow men we like, and some love and appreciation from our women and families.

The masculine does not, and should not complain about disparities.
We just get on with it.

Like the freakish psychopath he is, Coach Rhino (pictured here before his lockdown haircut) has plotted the Run to the Hills Crash session exactly one year to the day from the first one.

We will be at Turkey Nest Park with exact meeting point coordinates (at the bottom of the hill) texted to those campers brave enough to endure the pain and suffering that is Run to the Hills week.

Whilst things look gloomy now, Saturday is looking fine. But, even if the forecast was bad for Saturday, Crash Camp would still have a sunny break between 7-8am. You can guarantee it - it just always is.
The big guy in the sky looks after us. He knows we're the good guys; the Aussie battlers out there giving it a go and holding the line against all the evil tyranny currently trying to control & destroy the world.

Pictured is Oscar, the Rona Gym™ & Crash Camp mascot. He's probably tougher than you.

Oscar does hill sprints in the rain with one leg missing. You panic-buy toilet paper for your bot bot, eat Cheetos watching Netflix and sneer at anyone with their mask under their nose.

Be more like Oscar.

In fact, Oscar has helped design an all new program for Saturday to harden you snowflakes up a bit.
He will also be in charge of enforcing the punishment for anyone late or lagging to their next station.

The weather gods certainly look after our Saturday group. There is nothing better than training in the early morning sun & fresh air to start the weekend off right.

Great to watch this crew that has fantastic comradery and spirit going through their paces with coach Rhino.

Come down on Saturday at 7am.
Register here www.crashcamp.com.au

With life starting to resemble some semblance of normality, its been fantastic to get back on the paddock and brush some of those fitness cobwebs off.

Picking up from where we left off, our Campers faced up to Crash Camp 2.0 with military equipment and a fresh new program to complete.

Was great to see some new (uncovered) faces as well as our valued foundation campers that consistently show up week after week.

With an 8 week countdown to Christmas there is still ample time to work off the cOViD kILoS so don't forget to plan in your Saturday workout with us.

Register here at www.crashcamp.com.au