Paradigm Shift Psychology

A poem inspired by my reflection on animosity, anger, resentment and the courage to let go and the transformative power of sorry & forgiveness:

The Slow Rot of Anger

It begins as a whisper, a seed beneath the ribs, small enough to deny yet rooted in pride’s shadow.

Year by year, it feeds, drawing marrow from memory, blackening the edges of laughter, turning love to rust.

You call it strength, this fire that burns so cold, but it is hunger, not power,
and it feasts upon your soul.

In the mirror, the eyes harden.
The skin remembers every slight.
You speak the language of barbs now,
each word a splinter, you cannot pull free.

Anger is a cancer of the heart, and resentment, its twin disease.
They grow in silence, and the body obeys, bent, bitter, brittle, mistaking tension for control.

But there is an antidote, a humble word,
soft as rain: sorry.
And another, older still: forgive.

They do not come easy.
They demand you open the wound you’ve carried, festered, allowed to grow and feed, to clean it, to really, truly breathe again.

We are meant to change that is life’s quiet promise. But let it be for light, not rot. Let the lesson outgrow the pain. It's ultimately for you.

For the cost of clutching fury is the withering of joy.
And life!
This brief, trembling thing is far too short
to die while still alive.

Rebecca

Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) – Simple Explanation

Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) means feeling very hurt or upset when you think someone has given you feedback sometimes constructive but you brain interprets it as being criticised, or disapproved of you and unconsciously you may feel rejected, even in small or imagined ways. The emotional response is much stronger than what most people experience — it can feel like an emotional wound or “crash.”

🧠 Why It Happens

RSD is not a separate diagnosis but a common experience for people with ADHD and/or Autism. The brain’s emotional regulation system is more sensitive usually hypersensitive, meaning rejection or perceived failure feels overwhelming. It’s linked to:

Difficulties in managing intense emotions.

A lifetime of real or perceived criticism or misunderstanding. The consequence of being Neurodivergent.

Low self-esteem from repeated experiences of perceived rejection.

💥 What It Feels Like

People describe RSD as:

Sudden waves of intense hurt, shame, sadness, or anger.
Feeling instantly worthless or humiliated, disrespected.
Wanting to withdraw, avoid, or “people-please”- linked to anxiety to stop it from happening again.
Sometimes, reacting with defensiveness or anger to protect themselves.

🧩 Common Triggers

* Not getting a reply to a message.
* Constructive feedback or correction.
* Being left out or not invited.
* Someone seeming annoyed, distant, quiet, silent.
* Failing to meet one’s own high standards.

🌱 Helpful Strategies

STOP-think!
Apply a filter strategy.
Is this information "true for me"? Yes/No
Is this more information more about the other person than me?
Is there something going on for them that could better explain their words or actions? Its not always about YOU!
Is there something constructive here, I can take and work on to improve myself?

Then move on.....

Recognising, understanding and naming it. “This is RSD” helps create distance from the emotion.
Pause and check the facts: Ask yourself, “Is there evidence they rejected me?” constructive versus destructive feedback.
Is this person helping or harming me.
Self-compassion: Speak to yourself as you would to a friend.
Educate yourself!
Seek therapeutic support if you need it: CBT, DBT, or Emotion Regulation Therapy can help.

Medication: For people with ADHD, stimulant or non-stimulant medication may help reduce emotional intensity prescribed by a Psychiatrist only.

For intense pain like a break up Tylenol (Paracetamol / Acetaminophen) can help.

Research (e.g. Dewall et al., Psychological Science, 2010) has shown that acetaminophen reduces activity in the brain regions that process both physical and emotional pain particularly the anterior cingulate cortex and insula.
These are the same areas activated when someone feels rejected, embarrassed, or humiliated.

So, in theory, Tylenol can dull the emotional sting of rejection a little bit, the same way it dulls a headache for acute times.Think of it as a comfort aid, not a cure.

Some people with ADHD or RSD report that it takes the edge off during intense emotional pain episodes.

⚠️ Important Caveats

It’s not a long-term or primary treatment for RSD.
It doesn’t address emotional dysregulation, sensitivity, or self-esteem wounds.

It should only be used at safe doses (max 4,000 mg per 24 hours for adults, usually 500–1,000 mg every 4–6 hours).
Overuse can damage the liver.

It’s most useful as a short-term aid, perhaps alongside therapy or other self-regulation strategies.

🌱 What Works Best Overall

Approach What It Helps With Examples
Medication for ADHD or mood Regulates emotional reactivity

Stimulants, SSRIs, guanfacine (Intuniv)

Therapy Understanding and reframing rejection triggers CBT, DBT, schema therapy

Body-based calming reduces physical arousal linked to emotional pain
Deep breathing, grounding, cold water
Tylenol (short-term)
Mildly reduces emotional pain activation in the brain 500–1000 mg occasionally when safe

🩺 Evidence-Based Summary

“Acetaminophen reduces neural responses to social rejection in brain regions associated with distress.”
— Dewall et al., Psychological Science (2010); Durso et al., Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience (2015).

Mindfulness in practise. And patience something I must learn again. This is a cheap version of the Secret Garden by Johanna Basford. Using the Staedtler Buntstifte pink for grapes and raspberries to lay down some basic colour on my leaves. Feel free to come along this creative fun. Take care Rebecca

Mindfulness in practise. And patience something I must learn again. This is a cheap version of the Secret Garden by Johanna Basford. Using the Staedtler Buntstifte green 175 to lay down some basic colour on my leaves. Feel free to come along this creative fun. Take care Rebecca

🕊️ Mindfulness Tip....

A Gentle Mindful Moment for Grief

Take a breath.
Feel your feet on the ground.
Place your hand over your heart.
You’re still here. You’re still breathing.
And that’s enough for today.

Grief doesn’t follow rules. It comes in waves.
Let each feeling rise and fall, without judgement. Do what YOU need to do.
You don’t have to fix it. Just notice it.
And know—you are not alone.

Be gentle with yourself.
Rest when you need.
Cry when you can.
Feel what you feel.
Healing takes time.

🤍 One breath at a time.

2 Lethbridge Street Penrith
paradigmshiftpsychology.au

2 Lethbridge Street Penrith