Idiosyncratic Coaching and Mentoring - ICM

Narrative of Positive Changes and its Effect on Humans.
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Positive thinking is more than just a mindset; it’s a powerful tool for navigating life’s challenges and creating a more fulfilling, energetic, and productive existence. When we adopt a positive outlook, we are better equipped to handle situations with grace, avoid unnecessary conflicts, and build stronger, more meaningful connections with those around us.

At the heart of positive thinking is the idea of bringing about positive change within yourself. How we think directly influences how we react to life’s events. This connection between thought and behavior is also a core principle of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which highlights how our thought patterns shape our emotional and behavioral responses.

Negative Thoughts → Negative Emotions → Negative Behavior
Positive Thoughts → Positive Emotions → Positive Behavior

Positive change also helps us manage stress better, increasing our ability to stay calm in difficult situations and avoid unnecessary conflict. The shift from reacting impulsively to responding thoughtfully makes us more productive and emotionally balanced.

Despite its benefits, many people remain skeptical about change—especially positive change. This skepticism often stems from a fear of the unknown and the effort it takes to break old habits. Positive change requires energy, consistency, and commitment. It’s not always easy, but the rewards of a positive mindset far outweigh the initial discomfort.

The truth is, change is inevitable, but how we embrace it is entirely up to us. By choosing positive thinking, we can transform our experiences, improve our relationships, and lead more purposeful, empowered lives.

“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” – Albert Einstein

Thoughts!!!!

Asim Saleem
Mentor, Coach, Technologist
Changing Mind and Changing Perspectives

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Common criteria in any profession, is to train your brain with the technical skillset either via formal education, formal and informal training or industry related certifications by the accredited bodies or organizations.

Though these skills form the core of technical success but these mostly fail to address the crucial human growth skills such as soft skills. The same applies in entrepreneurship or/any other area.

Meeting and mentoring many people in the last few months, made me realize that professionals are easily overlooking the importance of such skills. And if they have few of those skills, they are unsure how to use them effectively.

Following are the few objectives and example behind such training.

Objectives:

1- To improve interpersonal and communication skills.
2 - To develop leadership and management capabilities.
3 - To enhance problem-solving, decision-making, and strategic thinking.
4 - To foster personal growth and adaptability in a professional setting.

Examples:

a. Leadership and management training.
b. Effective communication and public speaking workshops.
c. Time management and productivity courses.
d. Emotional intelligence and conflict resolution training.
e. Career planning and professional branding sessions.

Above information is just a start and it has whole world connected to it. If you think this is something you might be interested in, please ping me and will help you to build some essential skills.

Asim Saleem
Coach and Mentor
www.linkedin.com/in/saleemasim
Tel # 0433 087 874

Asim Saleem | LinkedIn Asim Saleem, a highly experienced and passionate technology professional with a career spanning over two decades in the Information and Technology industry. Since 1997, he has been actively involved in various roles within the IT landscape, starting as a Network Admin in Pakistan before moving to Au...

Looking for transformation. We are bringing an event on 6th of July at Castle Hill RSL, Sydney which will help you in your transformation journey.

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Thoughts create emotions and emotions creates behavior.

Change your thoughts and your behavior will change.

Just a share with parents with growing or grownup kids. (I am writing after silently monitoring parents behaviours and attitude towards their kids). This post is not to hurt parents but igniting some sensibility among them to be best for their kids.

I have recently seen many parents been very conservative, pushy, unethical and uncooperative with their growing or grown up kids.

Many parents believe that they are very street smart and no one knows better than them specially their kids (please do self reflection with open heart and you will find who you are) and then they want to reflect this within kids by suppressing them.

Being humans we all are street smart to some extents, some people are street smarts with education and some get this smartness by their Lord (God Gifted).

Your next generation inherit many properties genetically from you or they have learnt it during their early ages so they are intrinsically street smart plus they are also part of growing society with full of emotion, energies and enthusiasm. So you can't beat them but you can only suppress them with your superiority complex.

My recommendation to parents is, to stay humble, polite, reasonable, ethical and intelligent when dealing your kids. Don't compare anything among your kids, don't praise one kid in front of other and don't praise one success in front of other in term of education, career, marriage or whatever etc.

Also don't quote your smartness to your kids (keep it with you or if you have digestion problem take some medication to digest it by consulting doctor or psychologist as you are sick).

Generally age 13-21 is the socialisation age where kids go out and form their own experience so this is the time when you sensibly aid your kids in socialisation process and making them useful for them and for society rather than instigating retaliation among them and making them your enemies.

Many parents wants to chose life partner for their kids as they think they know the best but this is wrong approach socially, religiously and morally. Kids have full right by Law or by Religion to chose their life partner or anything good they wishes for their life (business, employee or independent professional).

Parents should not pour or inject their experience in their kid's life. Your experience may be totally different and irrelevant to your kid's.
Make your kids your friends rather than make them rebellious. Horn their intelligence rather comparing yourself or others with them and suppress them.

If you think you are street smart (good for you, keep it with you) then think your kid may be more street smart than you are so won't win. Your either lose your kid or their love/affection.

Respect your kids, their views, their education, their learning, their experience and stop being non-sense parent (an uneducated parent with degrees). Don't bring them to the point of retaliation, make them your friend and make your and their lives easy.

I am happy to contribute more based on few important learning of human Psychology for people's development.

Yesterday had discussions with my friends with some heat but later on self reflection this morning I came across interesting results.
I though to share to all my friends and connections and get their insights.

1. Flexibility is the key. Though we know something or probably many things based on our learning and experience but we still need to go back rethink, re-evaluate and reconcider the authenticity of established beliefs and probably challenge them.

2. Don't stick to the information you know. If you don't have answers don't convince with bogus thoughts, do some research based on context

3. Words have contextual meanings and have effects on human thinking patterns. These are not wrapper or presenting something good or bad. Every word is processed in brain based on processing mechanism or unconcious filters. For example learning or contextual learning are two different things. Similarly attitude, positive attitude and negative attitude have entire different meanings.

4. Discussion is thought provoking and creative process not an influential process and it should follow the through provoking process irrespective of audience known/unknown or well established audience.

5. We can be wrong based on our perception and thought process so don't be inflexible if you are proved wrong.

6. Everyone has potential and unique skills but how he/she uses matter the most. This is the reason only few people stay at top and most people are followers.

7. Self reflection is important in every scenerio but in positive way and not blaming. Reframe thoughts with the purpose not to condemn yourself but opportunity for growth.

Comments !!!!

During my professional life, what I have found, missing part out of people's personal and professional life is asking deep questions to understand and evaluate issues or probably to understand themselves.

People rely on their cognitive biases or use their saboteurs, go with the global established myths or their own generated myths (with limited data points) to prove them right. They only go with the surface based information (tip of iceberg) and not the actual iceberg (which big contextual sample of data). resulting negativity and ambiguity in the surroundings and forming a toxic environment with arguments, disagreements, conflicts, retaliation etc.

To avoid such issues at workplace or probably in one's personal life:

1. To ask deep questions (with oneself or others) with the intention to find the right answer (not the answer right for oneself or one's beliefs),
2. Talk to people and get their thoughts/opinion where possible.
3. Analyze any data available
4. And discourage judgements.

We cannot be right all the times and we cannot prove others, wrong all the times.

If one is not involved in personal growth, then tell others (friends, family, manager, peers) that I have limited knowledge and have established beliefs so I might not be the right person. Prepare to be vulnerable and patch it through personal development.

So nutshell, always ask yourself deep end questions to explore your context, your version, your theory or yourself in general around anything and be prepare to accept other's version before concluding anything.

Questions or Comments!!!

Empathy - wonderful thing to have. People often forget they need to show it towards others as it show respect towards humanity.

People who suffer injustice or have lack of options in their life require empathy at minimum. If we are strong, we have everything that's good enough but it should not move or push people away saying justice will be served once day of judgement come.
If we have resources, power and luxury of life it does not mean that we leave others because we don't want to anything.

Its just reframing thinking and seeing others within keeping ourselves within their frame of problems rather than outside the frame and disassociated.

Let's have human factor activated within yourself as justice will be served for all one day for all not only victims.

This topic is specially for those who like learning and development, growth minset, self improvement and exponential growth.

Currently I am engaged in Positive Intelligence (PQ) training by Shirzad Chamine (Author of Positive Intelligence techniques) which measure the % of time your mind is serving you as oppose to sabotaging you. Positive intelligence determines how much of your maximum potential you achieve i.e. brain working positively versus negatively.

Two aspects of PQ described by Author as Saboteurs and Sage.

Saboteurs - Voices in your head that generate negative emotions towards handling your life challenges. These causes all Stress, Anxiety, Self-Doubt, Frustration, Unhappiness and Restlessness. These are invisible and seems your friend in tackle day to day situations. These are universal and cater survival mechanism. They learning phase completes in childhood and during adult age, it becomes invisible inhabitants. Top Saboteurs are Judge, Avoider, Controller, Hyper-Achiever, Hyper-Rational, Hyper-Vigilant and few more.

Sage - It has access to your wisdom, insights and often untapped mental powers. Some of the great powers are Explore with curiosity, empathy with oneself and others, innovation and creation of new perspective, navigate and path selection which best aligns your deeper underlying values and mission, and activate and take decisive actions without distress, interference or distraction of the saboteurs.

Using Positive Intelligence techniques, builds new neural pathways in your brain. This is equivalent to building new brain muscles.

(Only posting for learning purposes – taken from Author’s book)

To achieve success few important things to understand and implement.

1. Leave your comfort zone and start challanging you
2. Fail big time and learn how to succeed
3. Keep looking for new opportunites
4. Don't talk about you, let your work and your success talk
5. Understand and implement the culture of collaboration, mutual trust and respect.
6. Don't think or make others fool thinking yourself being smart.
7. Follow the continuous learning and growth path.
8. Avoid negative and toxic people. Sorround yourself with positive, energectic people.
9. Be creative and don't be logical.
10. Don't set goals, but set directions. Goal will start coming along.