The Confidence Coach

10/07/2026

Yes. I help kids learn about their stress response. Yes they get it - in kid-friendly ways - stuff many adults still don’t understand, some of my kids-clients already do! Perfectly? No. That’s not the point. The point is to create the language of empowerment based on scientific and intuitive understandings… Then we create plans… information is nothing without implementation…

10/02/2026

09/29/2026

When my 10 year old kid came downstairs to breakfast on a school day dressed in one of her new fancy Indian Kurti (part of shalwar kameez set) , I saw. I didn’t make a big deal, or exclaim loudly how awesome it was. I noticed, I asked in a nonchalant neutral tone, “You’re wearing your new Kurti to school ?” She said, “Yes.” “Cool,” and I moved on with breakfast.

A week earlier, I had said aloud while some family were visiting “I’ve been contemplating wearing my Indian outfits on a daily basis. They are comfortable and beautiful.” To which someone influential in her extended family said in front of my child, “I will never wear that in general public. I already get stared at on the street, I don’t need more getting looked at.”

I felt my face and body tighten and I am sure I flinched.

Because here’s the thing: I AM CULTURE PROUD.

HELLA CULTURE PROUD.

So I am freaking proud of my daughter for filtering that comment out, and proudly wearing her Kurti to school.

Imma be going on each day to my kids about something related to my culture, language or heritage and I say OWN IT!

Your country of origin gave so much to the world and very little credit has been given. So wear it. Own your authenticity and roots!

But of course, make a big deal of it in front of my 10 year old kid - no. Just normalizing my culture in a world where targets get put on backs too fast.



***The word kurti (and the root word kurta) incorporated in to both Hindi and Urdu, as it comes from Persian (kurtah / kurteh) and entered the shared Hindustani vocabulary centuries ago during the medieval period.

09/28/2026

#1. Yes I have firm bedtime boundaries.
#2. Yes, we have routine and structure established.
#3. Yes, this is a nervous system that needs to discharge energy before impending separation at bedtime.

#4. Yes, this is proprioceptive input for the body, which is incredibly healthy for the nervous system and brain-body.

#5. Yes, this is joining him in his world. Allowing healthy aggression release in a contained environment.

6. Yes, there was a time limit to the wonderful fun and funny exploration of wrestling with our giant stuffy before bed.

7. Yes, this was connection for all of us as a family of four.

8. Yes, this helped to burn off energy before bed so we could settle down once we turn the lights off.

9. Yes, we always build in a buffer to bedtime because we know there needs to be a +\- 15 minute system; we don’t expect that a child whose immature brain is still growing and impulse control is under construction would be able to obediently comply at the drop of a hat… Yes, we radically accept that childhood is meant to be energetic and joyful. Even at bedtime sometimes.

10. Yes, 15 minutes is 15 minutes, not 25 or 50 minutes. Boundaries are boundaries in our house. Boundaries are there to keep us healthy and safe and sleep is integral to that. And yes, parental capacity is always taken into consideration in the moment. That is also why boundaries are there…

11. Yes he feels safe behaving like this because mom understands. When someone reacts simply to behaviour and condemns it, they haven’t looked under the surface….

12. No this is not bad behaviour or wild children. This is children. Growing. Being seen, understood and supported.

And yes safe jumping is definitely allowed in our house.



09/25/2026

The pr***en years MATTER now. In this stage, your child’s brain is going through major development, making this an important time for building the mental, emotional, social skills that they’re going to carry forward in their lives.

1. We don’t get childhood back. This is it. Childhood is a very short phase yet one of the most critical phases of development in human life, which impacts them for the rest of their lives…

2. The teen years are coming: hormones we cannot see impacting their mental and emotional states; regulation still in development, peer pressure influences, growing up in a digital world highly impacting their brain, and missing out on major skills around resilience, confidence, social skills, resilience skills, and handling fear, failure, and conflict. All while desiring more independence and breaking away gently from their parents.

3. Impulse control is not fully developed: (is it ever?)

When one frustrating moment, a feeling of betrayal, or one angry experience turns into a “threat to record someone,” a curt or hurtful text message, posting a photo that was inappropriate… 😞

The brain is still under construction until the mid 20s. The pre-teen years serves as one of the most important training grounds for practising diligently, the skills needed for frustration tolerance, patience, boredom, emotional regulation, social-conflict and repair, while connecting to our values and recognizing our boundaries.

BUT all of these require REQUIRE SKILLS. And these skills are not being taught in the mainstream every day.

4. Friendships, power dynamics, and cliques are forming right now. Understanding how to navigate these will serve a child for many years to come. “Just ignore it”, “just walk away”, “or “don’t let it get to you”, are not adequate skill sets.

I work with pre-teen children week after week supporting them with critical life skills. Skills that I never got myself when I was a child, which led to multiple decades of pain, anxiety and having to relearn, understand, and establish new ways of being/doing life because I had to get through all that life demanded of me. It’s been VERY HARD!

Building an empowered child from the start is a much smoother path than having to rewire ingrained and conditioned patterns at the age of 45.

This is why I’m so committed to empowering children.

If you and your child need support, please reach out and book a free parent and child coaching consultation. Time doesn’t wait for us.

Image copyright rights reserved to Ashley Anjlien Kumar. Unauthorized use for commercial purposes is prohibited. 

09/21/2026

Next intake is in October! Link in first comment or DM me for the link.

09/10/2026

❓ kids like to sit and do activities a lot? ✅ play this to provide movement breaks.

❓ need to break the tension between siblings? ✅ play this to shift the energy or possibly change the scene that’s playing out in front of you.

❓ got a power struggle on hand? ✅ change the channel and move into sports commentary.

❓ cooperation, or task completion challenges? ✅ “turn on” the channel where you narrate the task on hand in a funny voice.

❓ got a child struggling with self-esteem and powerlessness? ✅ hand them the remote and you be the character they get to keep changing the channel on! (giving them a sense of “control”, agency, and a sense of “power”)

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