The Confidence Coach

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A B.C. family did all the right things parents are advised to do. They checked in, used parental controls, and paid attention. Despite this, an online extremist network still managed to infiltrate their lives.

CTV’s reporting on Penelope Sokolowski is a story that should alarm every parent. Her father states she was groomed by 764, a violent online group the RCMP says targets children and teenagers on gaming and social platforms. He watched his daughter change rapidly — her grades declined, she stopped going to school, and then the situation worsened.

This week, the RCMP charged a 26-year-old man from Québec City, Jeffrey Roussel, with terrorism offences for allegedly promoting 764 on Telegram. Authorities say he posted violent and highly disturbing material to inspire and recruit others, mostly teenagers. Canada designated 764 as a terrorist group last December. The federal government describes this network as one that lures, grooms, and extorts youth into engaging in violent, sexual, and self-harm acts.

This should alter how we discuss these issues.

This isn’t just “kids seeing bad stuff online.” It’s organized predation disguised with ideological motives. Yet our politics still dismiss platform safety as an annoying side issue we’d rather ignore.

Parents can’t handle this alone. Schools alone can’t manage it. Kids certainly can’t.

If Ottawa truly cares about protecting children online, then stop talking about awareness as if it’s the end goal. Instead, target the systems, platforms, recruitment channels, and individuals feeding children this poison.

If you’re affected, call or text 9-8-8 anytime in Canada.

— Marcus | The Headline Lab

Simple. Too simple for people to believe. Maybe that's why it's not talked about as directly enough.

Naming emotions (affect labeling) has been shown in neuroscience research to reduce activation in the amygdala—the brain’s threat-detection system—while increasing engagement in the prefrontal cortex, responsible for thinking and decision-making. This shift supports emotional regulation when paired with coping tools. (Burklund et al., 2024; Lieberman et al. line of research).

..This means that step #1 is to increase self-awareness to notice the emotion arising (body and sensory awareness), #2 Name your experience and emotions!

Drop a 💓if you name your emotions often, or are working on naming them more often as a parent!

DM if you want specific Emotion-Coaching for your child using stories, arts and crafts!

𝗜𝗻𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗮𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗶𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝗲𝗻𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵. 𝗕𝗼𝗼𝗸𝘀, 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝘀, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗺𝘀 𝗼𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝘂𝗽 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗳— not 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗼𝗳 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗯𝘂𝘀𝘆.

We’re already four months into 2026… and it’s time to check in:

What do we want this year to look like for our family? For our kids?

More support, regulation, and connection?

Many families I work with are feeling the pressures of our modern world: shorter attention spans, sensory overload, big emotional swings, dips in confidence, and nervous systems running on empty. Kids aren’t broken—they just need support that meets them where they are developmentally.

That’s where coaching comes in. It bridges the gap between knowing and doing, giving real-time guidance, tools, and sustainable change for the whole family.

Over the years, I’ve invested thousands studying children’s self-esteem, social-emotional development, trauma-informed practices, and nervous-system-aware programs from around the world. I also studied parenting, attachment science, psychology, and neurobiology. Yet I couldn’t find one program that truly did it all—so I built it. (Still refining it, by the way!)

Right now, I’m tweaking a kids’ module on the T-F-A pattern (Thoughts → Feelings → Actions) because understanding what drives reactions is the first step to change. I’ve created 100+ skill-based modules and resources for kids to fill the gaps most programs miss—helping them regulate emotions, build confidence, and understand themselves in empowering ways. I also create custom modules tailored to each child’s unique challenges.

Parents get support too—because helping kids succeed means supporting the adults guiding them. Many kids I work with navigate neurodiversity. Every testimonial on my site comes from a real parent I’ve worked with.

If you’re curious whether coaching could support your family, let’s explore it together.

👉 Book a free Coaching Consult for your Family (Parent Coaching and Children's Self-Esteem & Resilience Coaching) - link in Bio or first comment.

𝘚𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘛𝘪𝘮𝘦 - 𝘐𝘵'𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘴...

I know most of you are balancing work, children, and trying to keep everyone fed and relatively functional. The LAST thing you need is someone else telling you you're failing.
So I'm not here to add guilt. I'm here to share something that might actually help.
The screen time struggle isn't what most people think.

You're competing with platforms that employ teams of neuroscientists and behavioral specialists whose job is keeping eyes on screens as long as possible.

Every notification. Every reward or “level up” in gaming platforms, ever auto-advance feature, every player / user comment, etc… They're engineered to hijack attention—yours AND your kids'.

Here's what I've learned working with families for years:
Parental leadership needs to be reclaimed. And it's being systematically dismantled by intentional design.

Early brain development depends on three things: physical movement, adequate sleep, and face-to-face interaction. When screens replace these, everything shifts—attention, behavior, emotional regulation, sleep quality.

But it's not just young kids. UCLA researchers found that when older children (sixth-graders) spent just FIVE DAYS without screens at outdoor camp, they showed significant improvement in reading emotions and understanding social cues.
So what do we actually do?

I’m laying it all out for you in my most recent blog post: RECLAIM YOUR ROLE AS SCREEN TIME LEADER (link in first comment)

You don't have to eliminate technology. You just have to lead in digital spaces instead of letting them lead your family.

PLUS, I created a FREE SCREEN TIME AWARENESS KIT for kids aged 6-11 and their parents. Comment “Screentime,” and I’ll send you access.

Screens down, chins up. 📵

Let's help our kids see what's really happening. Together. ❤️

**IMAGE COPYRIGHT BELONGS TO ASHLEY ANJLIEN KUMAR. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.**

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International Women’s Day…❤️🙏🏽

My kids’ resistance.

The prolonged morning routine.

The refusal to transition from play to brush teeth.

It was on non-school days. The pattern had become predictable: the kids would wake up, head straight downstairs to play, and then hours later I would attempt to bring them back upstairs to brush teeth, get dressed, and eat breakfast. It rarely went smoothly. There was resistance, negotiating, frustration, and eventually everyone’s nervous system felt strained — including mine.

Nothing about it was “bad.” They were doing what children naturally do — following play. But it wasn’t working well for our family rhythm anymore. So I had to step back and ask: What are our values, and is this dynamic aligned with them?

Before going further, I think it’s important to define what I mean by values in a family context.

Values are the guiding principles that shape how we live and lead together - how we show up each day. They are not rules themselves — they are the reason behind the rules or boundaries. Values guide our decisions.

In our family, three values anchor us:

Responsibility

Loving Connection

Personal Growth & Leadership

When I looked honestly at our morning dynamic, I could see that it wasn’t aligning with these values.

From a responsibility standpoint, basic self-care tasks were being delayed, meals were pushed later, and I was carrying the full mental load of trying to manage transitions. That didn’t reflect shared responsibility.

From a loving connection perspective, the repeated friction around stopping play was difficult for everyone. Even though no one was wrong, the dynamic was straining our emotional steadiness. That crosses what I consider mental and emotional well-being boundaries — the invisible limits that protect the tone of our home.

From a growth and leadership standpoint, consistently avoiding transitions wasn’t helping frustration tolerance develop. Transitions aRe uncomfortable. Learning to move through them is part of executive function development. If play always overrides structure, those muscles don’t strengthen. There was also a time boundary being crossed. Time is a shared family resource. The ripple effects showed up later in the day — delayed meals, rushed plans, cancellations. Leadership sometimes looks like protecting time so the whole system functions more smoothly. So we made a change.

Now, I need to be clear: Unstructured time is important - 100% agree. And I stand in leadership and responsibility by ensuring my children get unstructured play / free time EVERYDAY! Even more on non-school days. I'm talking about one specific part of our day here in this story...

So we made a change.

I implemented a simple rule: morning routine before going downstairs.

This wasn’t imposed without conversation. The kids were part of the discussion. We used a whiteboard (make it visual) to look at what was happening and how it was impacting everyone. They asked if they could play upstairs first before starting their routine. That felt reasonable, so we agreed on timing. The goal wasn’t rigidity — it was alignment.

They didn’t love the change at first. But I stayed consistent. And over time, something shifted.

Mornings became smoother. There was less conflict. My own dysregulation decreased because I wasn’t repeatedly managing the same struggle. Most importantly, they began to internalize the structure. After months of repetition, they started self-managing. Even if there was something exciting waiting downstairs (like a surprise chocolate muffin from Dad), they would complete their routine first without prompting, not out of pure compliance, but out of habits that developed over time!

That’s responsibility developing.

That’s frustration tolerance strengthening.

That’s leadership beginning to form internally rather than being externally enforced.

Children do not have to like rules or boundaries in order to benefit from them. Boundaries and rules rooted in clear values are not less about control, and more about creating the conditions for growth.

My children sometimes describe me as strict. I understand why. I am consistent. But I am also the parent they come to when something is hard. They know I will listen and seek to understand, even when I hold a limit. That balance matters to me.

For me, conscious parenting includes sturdy leadership. It includes rules or boundaries when they are grounded in values. It includes collaboration with children where appropriate. And it includes the willingness to recalibrate when something isn’t working.

When boundaries or rules (non-negotiable boundaries) align with values, they stop feeling arbitrary. They become purposeful. And over time, children begin to understand not just the rule — but the reason behind it.