The Barbell Balance

Women in their 40s do not need another lecture about discipline.

Most of the women I coach have been disciplined their entire damn lives.

They’ve built careers.

Raised kids.

Managed households.

Supported partners.

Started caring for aging parents.

Navigated injuries, sleepless nights, changing bodies and hormones that suddenly seem to have their own agenda.

And somewhere in there, they’re also supposed to meal prep, hit 10,000 steps, lift heavy, jump for their bones, eat enough protein, manage stress and sleep eight hours a night.

Sure. 😂

The problem isn’t that women in midlife don’t care about their health.

It’s that we’ve spent decades giving women more things to do without asking what they actually have the capacity for.

And I think fitness needs to get much better at that.

Yes, I want women lifting.

I want them building muscle.

I want them developing power and protecting their ability to do the things they love for decades to come.

But good coaching isn’t handing every 45-year-old woman the same list of things she should be doing.

It’s looking at the woman standing in front of you and asking:

Where are you now?

Then we build from there.

Because menopause changes your body.

Life changes your body.

Aging changes your body.

None of those things make you fragile.

And you don’t need to get your old body back.

You deserve the chance to find out what this one can do.

Women 40+ : what do you wish the fitness industry understood about you?

You don’t need to get your old body back.

I hear women say some version of this all the time:

I just want to get back to where I was.

Before the weight gain.
Before menopause.
Before the injury.
Before the kids.
Before life got heavy.

I understand it.

But what if going back isn’t the goal?

Your body has changed.
Your life has changed.
Your training may need to change too.

But different doesn’t automatically mean worse.

Maybe this version of you builds more muscle.

Gets stronger.

Learns new skills.

Stops trying to shrink.

Stops wondering if she belongs in the gym.

And starts collecting evidence of what she’s capable of.

That’s the part of aging I wish we talked about more.

Yes, things change.

But we’re still allowed to gain something too.

Strength.
Muscle.
Confidence.
Power.

You don’t have to become the woman you were before.

I’d much rather see what the woman you are now can do.

❤️

If you’re ready to get stronger but aren’t sure where to begin, comment STRONG and I’ll send you my free Strength Stage Assessment.

I’d rather deadlift 300 pounds than decide what everyone’s having for dinner.

And that is exactly why I don’t feel guilty investing in personal training.

Don’t get me wrong…Ben pushes me hard.

I’m still the one lifting the barbell, fighting for the last rep and occasionally questioning my life choices. 😂

But for that hour, I don’t have to hold the plan.

I don’t decide what comes next.
I don’t organize anyone.
I don’t anticipate what everyone else needs.
I don’t make another damn list.

I show up, and someone else pays attention to me.

Ben plans the session, watches how I’m moving, adjusts what needs adjusting and pushes me toward something I want for myself.

It’s hard work…but it’s a different kind of hard.

It builds me instead of draining me.

As women, we’re so used to investing our time, energy and money into everyone else that spending any of it on ourselves can feel selfish.

I don’t see it that way anymore.

Personal training gives me protected time to be Terrell…not Mom, wife, coach, cook, cleaner or the person responsible for remembering everything.

I’m not paying someone to make the work easy.

I’m investing for one place where the work is finally about me.

And I don’t feel guilty about that anymore.

Cheers to another year 🥂 🏋️‍♀️

Be honest: what made you feel most uncomfortable when you first started going to the gym?

Not knowing what to do?
Feeling watched?
Not understanding the equipment?
Or something else?

I’ve spent more than 15 years coaching women through different seasons of life.

Pregnancy. Postpartum. Returning after years away. Perimenopause. Menopause. Injury. Fear. Starting over. And sometimes simply realizing that the way they used to train doesn’t fit anymore.

And one thing has become very clear to me:

Women don’t need another fitness plan built around becoming smaller.

They need strength.

They need muscle.

They need confidence in their bodies again.

They need to know how to train in a way that supports their joints, bones, pelvic floor, recovery, energy and real life.

And they need someone who understands that starting where you are is not the same thing as staying there.

That’s how I coach.

We build strength progressively.

We fuel the work instead of constantly trying to eat less.

We improve movement, capacity and confidence.

And over time, something bigger happens.

You stop walking into the gym wondering whether you belong there.

You stop seeing your changing body as something that needs to be fixed.

You start discovering what it can do.

Some of the women I coach are learning to lift for the first time.

Others are coming back after years away.

Some are already strong and want to find out just how strong they can become.

Different starting points.

Same idea.

Build a body you trust.

Because I’m not interested in helping women spend the second half of their lives trying to take up less space.

I want us strong enough to keep living bigger.

Strong isn’t a size. It’s a decision.

f this sounds like the kind of strength you want to build, send me “STRONG” and let’s talk about where you are now …and where you want to go next.