Momentum Counselling & Coaching

💜 A new client signed with me today! 🧡

I remember making the decision to get a trainer. I hemmed and hawed for quite a while (months) before I asked a friend for a referral, and set up my first session with that person.

It was THE BEST decision I'd made in a long time.

I faced my fear (the shame of being a trainer who needs a trainer!), and showed up that Monday morning.

I just wish I'd done it sooner. 😊💗

💛📷

Happy Sunday, folks.
Cheers to .

We

Just a friendly reminder. 💕

The power of our thoughts...

Feeling good | David Burns | TEDxReno This talk was given at a local TEDx event, produced independently of the TED Conferences. Why do we sometimes fall into black holes of depression, anxiety an...

Hey there, just heard this song, from Canadian band Mother Mother on the radio, and thought I would share it.

Hope you're having a happy Thursday. :)
~Joanne

Mother Mother - It's Alright Music video by Mother Mother performing It's Alright. © 2019 Mother Mother Music Inc., under exclusive license to Universal Music Canada Inc. http://vevo.ly/...

Hi folks, for today's I wanted to pass along this article.

As a recovering "fixer" myself, I have learned that the ways to help people can vary, and still come down to allowing the person to do something for themselves - whether or not that is the way I'd do it. This was a very difficult lesson for me to learn.

What do you think of the article?
Are you a fixer?
Who benefits when you fix other peoples problems for them (including your children's problems)?

Let me know,
~Joanne

How to Be There for Others Without Taking on Their Pain - Tiny Buddha When our loved ones suffer, it's hard not to get swept up in their pain. We want so desperately to fix them, but all we can do is be there.

Hey there, this can be a tough one - learning to accept the differences between you and the person/people you love. Challenging, and so very worth it.
Check it out.
~Joanne

Don't Judge Me: Embracing Your Partner's Differences Particularly within the context of relationships and marriage, acceptance of differences is key to not only contentment but also individual growth and maturity.

Good morning, folks.
This is pretty fantastic; what do you think?
~Joanne

NOT THIS: Back by popular demand!

(Sweet friends, for some mysterious reason that I still can't figure out, the original version of this essay was deleted from Facebook yesterday. So many of you have asked me to re-post it...so here it is! Thanks for the love, by the way...)

Dear Ones -

Most of us, at some point in our lives (unless we have done everything perfectly...which is: nobody) will have to face a terrible moment in which we realize that we have somehow ended up in the wrong place — or at least, in a very bad place.

Maybe we will have to admit that we are in the wrong job. Or the wrong relationship. With the wrong people around us. Living in the wrong neighborhood. Acting out on the wrong behaviors. Using the wrong substances. Pretending to believe things that we no longer believe. Pretending to be something we were never meant to be.

This moment of realization is seldom fun. In fact, it's usually terrifying.

I call this moment of realization: NOT THIS.

Because sometimes that's all you know, at such a moment.

All you know is: NOT THIS.

Sometimes that's all you CAN know.

All you know is that some deep life force within you is saying, NOT THIS, and it won't be silenced.

Your body is saying: NOT THIS.

Your heart is saying: NOT THIS.

Your soul is saying: NOT THIS.

But your brain can't bring itself to say "NOT THIS", because that would cause a serious problem. The problem is: You don't have a Plan B in place. This is the only life you have. This is the only job you have. This is the only spouse you have. This is the only house you have. Your brain says, "It may not be great, but we have to put up with it, because there are no other options." You're not sure how you got here — to this place of THIS — but you sure as hell don't know how to get out...

So your brain says: "WE NEED TO KEEP PUTTING UP WITH THIS, BECAUSE THIS IS ALL WE HAVE."

But still, beating like a quiet drum, your body and your heart and your soul keep saying: NOT THIS...NOT THIS...NOT THIS.

I think some of the bravest people I have ever met were people who had the courage to say the words, "NOT THIS" outloud — even before they had an alternative plan.

People who walked out of bad situations without knowing if there was a better situation on the horizon.

People who looked at the life they were in, and they said, "I don't know what my life is supposed to be...but it's NOT THIS." And then they just...left.

I think my friend who walked out of a marriage after less than a year, and had to move back in with her mother (back into her childhood bedroom), and face the condemnation of the entire community while she slowly created a new life for herself. Everyone said, "If he's not good enough for you, who will be?" She didn't know. She didn't know anything about what her life would look like now. But it started with her saying: NOT THIS.

I think of my friend who took her three young children away from a toxic marriage, despite that fact that her husband supported her and the kids financially...and the four of them (this woman and her three children) all slept in one bed together in a tiny studio apartment for a few years, while she struggled to build a new life. She was poor, she was scared, she was alone. But she had to listen to the voices within her that said, NOT THIS.

I think of friends who walked out of jobs — with no job waiting for them. Because they said NOT THIS.

I think of friends who quit school, rather than keep pretending that they cared about this field of study anymore. And yes, they lost the scholarship. And yes, they ended up working at a fast food restaurant, while everyone else was getting degrees. And yes, it took them a while to figure out where to go next. But there was a relief at last in just surrendering to the holy, non-negotiable truth of NOT THIS.

I think of friends who bravely walked into AA meetings and just fell apart in front of a room full of total strangers, and said, NOT THIS.

I think of a friend who pulled her children out of Sunday School in the middle of church one Sunday because she'd had it with the judgment and self-righteousness of this particular church. Yes, it was her community. Yes, it was her tribe. But she physically couldn't be in that building anymore without feeling that she would explode. She didn't know where she was going, spiritually or within her community, but she said, NOT THIS. And walked out.

Rationally, it's crazy to abandon a perfectly good life (or at least a familiar life) in order to jump into a mystery. No sane person would advise you to make such a leap, with no Plan B in place. We are supposed to be careful. We are supposed to be prudent.

And yet....

And yet.

If you keep ignoring the voices within you that say NOT THIS, just because you don't know what to do, instead...you may end up stuck in NOT THIS forever.

You don't need to know where you are going to admit that where you are standing right now is wrong.

The bravest thing to say can be these two words.

What comes next?

I don't know. You don't know. Nobody knows. It might be worse. It might be better. But whatever it is...? It's NOT THIS.

ONWARD,
LG

Thought some of you may find this handy. :)

9 Embarrassing Questions You've Always Wanted to Ask a Therapist Psychotherapist and author Lori Gottlieb talks talk therapy