Fully Adored by Shahrzad Shukra

Whether you’re just dating or you’ve been married for 30 years, this applies to you:

When a man is not physically with you
When he’s travelling
When he’s at work
When he’s out with his friends
When he’s in the other room watching sports…

watch the voice and the impulses that want you to do something to get his attention. (I had many of these voices and acted out of impulse in the past, so I can totally relate)

“When was the last time he sent a text?
Why isn’t he calling me on his breaks?
If I was more important to him, he would show me that he’s thinking about me…
I prioritize him over my friends, and he doesn’t. I must love him more than he loves me…”

And then you look at your phone…
You check when he was last online on Whats App
You send him that text: are you ok?
You get angrier, more anxious, more triggered

There he is, innocently paying attention to what is in front of him (being present), and assuming you are too,
And here you are, energetically leaning forward, making up stories about how he feels about you, and based on those stories feeling worse and worse.

And it’s safe to say, when you DO hear from him, you either let him have it, or you are completely shut down!

Am I right or am I right?

My love, this is your invitation to stop.

Stop thinking about him, focusing on what he does or doesn’t, and stop telling yourself stories that make you feel absolutely miserable.

When he’s not with you:

1. Catch yourself when you start thinking about him.
2. Take 3 deep, embodied breaths and as you do that, visualize him in a thought bubble that starts to float away with each breath.
3. Take another 3 full breathes and visualize you are inhaling your attention back to you and back to your body.
4. Lastly declare to yourself that you’re going to be present with you, with what you’re doing, who you’re with, and that you are going to take ownership of your joy.

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Leave a ♥️ in the comments if you agree! Gone are the days that bad boys, emotionally unavailable, inconsistent, low effort men turned you on!

Every man desires a woman who challenges him to be the best version of himself!

So think about it when you cuddle, tolerate, and put up with his bad behavior.

When he says something that hurts you...

When he doesn’t honor his promise to you…

When he acts lazy, rude, whinny, unkind, man-childish..

You can ignore how you feel about it and try to fix everything

And while you’re afraid of rocking the boat or being too difficult, (and acting doormat-y because what if he leaves you if you set higher standards);

Meanwhile in his gut he feels unfulfilled, because he can see that you will settle for his mediocre version.

He doesn’t want to be rewarded when he is being his mediocre version!

That’s when he doesn’t see himself being able to commit the rest of his life to her.

Now I’m not saying be a dramatic woman and start picking fight with him every time you judge him not being his best version of himself!

But I do want to invite you to feel TURNED OFF when he is acting from his shadow masculinity.

Don’t gloss over poor behavior. Don’t let it turn you on/activate you to lean forward.

Get turned off. Let him know it doesn’t feel good.

Step back.

Let him step up!

That makes him want you more!

Remember no king of a man wants a doormat!

He wants a queen! And you my dear are a queen! So don’t ever act like you’re not!

True or false ladies?

He WANTS to be deeply in love with you!I He just doesn't know the steps that it takes for him to fall in love!

His hormones make him to want things easy at first (and by things, I mean s*x). He'll push his luck to have a woman have s*x with him as soon as possible.

But then MAJORITY of times,if it happens, that's all that there is to that experience. It could be the best s*x that he's ever had - and yet he doesn't "feel" anything for her after that.

And I want to tell you why! Here are a few pointers that I have used and continue using to keep him crazy in love with me:

1. He needs to pursue you and court you to win your heart. He needs to work hard to get you in order to feel that he has earned you. You've heard this many times and it's true: Men appreciate what they work hard for. So when he sleeps with a woman on the first date, he doesn't feel like he's earned that priviledge, and therefore, he doesn't feel a connection or "love" for her afterwards. This continues during marriage too; although it won't be about having s*x with you anymore, but he still needs to give to you and please you, in order to feel that he deserves you.

2. He's given space. Meaning you're not available to him at all times. You have a full life, so you can't text him back instantaneously, you're not available every weekend for him to book you last minute, and especially if he wants to hang out with his friends every now and then, you're not in his face questioning why doesn't he want to spend all his free time with you. He needs to have the space to feel inspired and want to close the gap between you two.

3. Fear of losing you. Now I'm not saying play games for him to think that he's going to lose you any minute. But I'm saying that don't give him the reassurance that there is NO WAY that he can ever lose you. And the way that it's achieved is that you need to have strong boundaries. And if he crosses them, he KNOWS that you WILL walk away from him.
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I wanted to be saved…

I wanted to be saved from feeling invisible, unimportant, unseen, unlovable, not enough

But no matter how badly I wanted someone to save me, every passing day I realized that: nobody was going to - ever!

This is one of the biggest challenges of women who want a loving and lasting relationship, but what they confuse it with is they look for a savior, not a healthy partner.

If you’ve ever wanted to find a man who could:

Save you from feeling inadequate and unworthy by giving you his love.

Save you from your financial struggles by being your source of money.

Save you from loneliness, by spending all his spare time with you.

Save you from your fear of being judged for being single, by committing to you.

Save you from the wounds and mistakes of your past, by constantly approving of you.

Save you from your explosive reactions when you get triggered, by walking on eggshells around you.

Save you from feeling stuck and empty, by being the source of happiness for you…

You too need to accept this from this moment on: nobody, no relationship, is ever going to save you.

This energy of come and save me will push healthy love away, and the only thing that it MIGHT bring you is men who will look at you as broken and in need of saving, and therefore they’ll treat you like broken!

Say hello to controlling men who will constantly disrespect you and treat you as inferior!

Yes you can absolutely desire a man who… (continue in comments)

In order to embody the feminine energy - the goddess energy that makes you irresistible to men do this one thing today:

SLOW DOWN

Walk slowly, talk slowly, experience every moment to the fullest. Be present with what's exactly in front of you. Not what's in your head. Not in social media. Not Past. Not Future.

Tell me which one is more attractive?

A woman who is rushing through to get to a place, flailing, bumping into people, and can't catch her breath.

Or a woman who is in no hurry. She walks as if she is walking on fluffy clouds, looking at what's around her, smiles at everyone, and slowly swings her hips from side to side?

Feminine knows no hurry. She's patient. Feminine knows everything happens in its divine order and she does not need to rush anything. She knows in order for a flower to bloom, the seed first needs to be planted, watered, and nurtured, and it WILL come out. No one can pull a flower out of its seed.

Just like you can't rush for your soulmate to show up. And you can't rush a man to take the next step in your relationship.

So today, when you're going about your day, pay extra attention to how slow you are going about ANYTHING that you're doing, be mindful of your thoughts and when you're time traveling back and forth, and bring your attention to the present moment.

When you're present, you give the space for everything that you want to manifest.

And I promise you, your man, or the men around you WILL notice you and feel instantly attracted to you. Men crave a feminine woman - so embody your natural energy, and come back and share with us about your experience.

Love,
Shahrzad

Imagine 10 years from now, and imagine nothing has changed! Do you think you would regret staying? If it’s a yes… then I hope you let this be your wake up call!

That guy is not your guy!

Let him go!

Because the one for you consistently(with his efforts) shows you that he doesn’t wanna lose you! Not onlyyyy when he feels threatened that you might leave him!

Answering a DM: “Shahrzad last night I was on a date with my boyfriend of one year. I ordered a hamburger and sweet potato fries. I ate half of the hamburger and moved onto my fries, I ate each fry slowly dipping each in ranch dressing. When I was half way through the fries he grabbed the ranch dressing and said that’s enough. I was horrified! My Dad monitored what I ate when I was young and subsequently I had a eating disorder for 15 years. I can not be with someone that monitors what I eat. Shahrzad I tried to explain what I eat is not his business but his reply was it is his business because if I gain 50 pounds he won’t be attracted to me. Your thoughts?”

Firstly I have to say I am so sorry for what you experienced - you feeling horrified is completely understandable.

What he did and what he said after that is beyond controlling - it’s actually abusive.

If this was to happen to me, I would have a lot of feelings about it, but more than anything I would feel VERY unattracted to him. And this would be my response.

“First of all hand me back the ranch. It seems like you’ve forgotten that you’re talking to a woman and not a child. Secondly, it is absolutely NOT your business if I put on 200 lbs. it’s your right if you don’t feel attracted to me then, and it’s your business if you want to walk away from a relationship that you don’t feel attracted to. Very much like me how I feel right now: very applauded and unattracted to this unacceptable behavior. After I’m done eating, I am ready to go home. And you take your time thinking about whether you want to be in a relationship with a little girl who you can control what she eats and her weight, or you’re ready to be in a grown up relationship with a woman who decides for herself!”

Having said all of this, I am glad you’re seeing that you’re attracted to a man that resembles your father. AND that tells me there is little girl wounding and you’re picking partners from your woundedness unconsciously recreating the same relationship with your dad. Which is the good news. Because you have work to do, and when you do the work, you will have no need to go through this kind of scenarios with men like that ever again.

This one 👆🏼will make or break your relationship. So save it, and remember it before deciding someone is the one after a couple of dates! Are they more interested to get through conflicts and come back to harmony? Or do they like to play the blame-game, hold a grudge, and have you be the one who tries to make the problem go away without actually solving a thing?

Majority of my life, I tried to hide my quirks, imperfections, and what I judged unlovable about myself, because I didn’t want to be rejected and abandoned! And I know most of the women who follow me do the same.

But here’s the thing... this is so backwards!

We claim we want to be loved for who we are. Find someone who we can feel safe and free with, and then we show up as this “filtered” version of ourselves because “if he sees the real me, he might leave”?

I had to change my view on this, and my love you do too!

Is it possible if you allow a man see you for who you really are, that he might not want to be with you?

Of course!

But how are you EVER going to find a man who loves you for who you are, if you don’t risk it?

Isn’t it more scary to end up with someone who you can only be half of yourself with, while deep down you know you’re not being who you really are, and if you did, he might want to leave?

Isn’t it more scary to live a life as an imposter?

Isn’t it more scary to go about your entire life and never know what a deeply connected relationship could feel like?

Rejection and feeling rejected in life is inevitable, and yet a man who rejects you for who you are, REALLY isn’t the man for you.

So what do you really have to lose? The wrong man? A life of feeling like you have to perform to be accepted?

Excuse me but f*** that!

Be who you are.
Be willing to not be liked by every man.
Be willing to let go of he who doesn’t find you amazing.

Because that’s the only way the one who does sees you as his “ one and only” can find you!