Sonya J MacCrimmon Coaching

*Please Note: This coaching service has closed for the time being. If you have any questions, feel free to reach out to Sonya via email☺️.*

Values are truly at the core of the human that we are💗

If we don’t actively seek them out to better understand them (and better understand ourselves), we may be living in old stories or operating in ways that are not us (societal standards, expectations of others, past conditioning, upbringing, repeated old patterns that no longer serve us, etc).

So if you bring awareness to these qualities, then you can establish where you desire to go in life, and ultimately, who you desire to BE in that process🫶

👉Try out this exercise and see what comes up!

Feel free to reach out in the DMs if you have questions or feel called to share your responses🥰

Heard of fixed Vs growth mindset? Let’s break it down👇

In the simplest terms, when you have a fixed mindset, you believe that your abilities and traits are something that you CANT change or developed.

When you have this type of mindset, you typically shut down quicker, give up easily, and see challenges as a negative barrier (or something that would spotlight your “deficiencies”) - aka more reason to avoid doing the thing all together.

When we see our own abilities and traits as something “fixed”, it doesn’t allow SPACE to explore and realize that we as humans can be quite adaptable.

Our brains love certainty so when we can just simply say, “this is just who I am”, it eliminates the guess work and keeps us in a familiar place where we know the outcome (aka I don’t change and I stay on the same path doing the same things).

But is this REALLY how we want to live our lives? Giving our power away towards these fixed ways of thinking. And ultimately not taking ownership of our own life.

If you wish to make changes in life, no one will do that for you.

When you can look at HOW you approach your own skillset, your abilities, and your circumstances from a more growth mindset, doors begin to open and your life can truly shift in SO many ways… if you let it.

🧠5 Shifts to Cultivate a Growth Mindset👇

(1) Embrace challenges: they are not a BAD thing. They give us opportunities to test our own capabilities and how amazing is that? Go experiment! Have fun with it!

(2) you CAN develop your abilities! It takes practice, readjusting, more practice, and fine tuning what works best over time!

(3) Failing does not mean YOU are bad or a failure. It means you are LEARNING what works for you and what doesn’t. Keep going!

(4) shockingly, effort actually is what CREATES success. The more effort you put in, the more you can create, do, be, have, etc.

(5) rather than focusing on that end goal/outcomes, focus on the PROCESS of how you will get there. That is where the true learning and expansion happens!

🥳PS: there is a whole resource library on this + MORE with powerful action steps that you receive personal guidance on within The Redefine Collective! Link in bio!

Why the heck should you have VALUE-BASED goals?!

Great question, I’d love to tell you (cue Elyse Myers voice hah).

When we set goals, we want to understand the deeper purpose behind them.

One of the biggest things to assess is WHY you want to achieve that goal?

Is for external validation? To please others? To look good for others? To uphold a certain image/standard you think others will approve of?

If that’s the case, those are a lot more externally motivating than really connecting to YOUR why and purpose - aka your intrinsic motivation and values.

Living in your own values allow you to align, connect, and embody a lot more with who you desire to BE, regardless of what others opinions or external factors.

You get to LIVE within your truest self, your deepest desires, your own personal experiences that fill you with joy and enlightenment.

THAT is the true essence of life. Fueling your soul. Filling your cup with what feels true and empowering for YOU.

For me, I want to set the intention to keep life simple & fun while being proactive, present, and healthy.

The goals within each of those areas will probably adjust and move around throughout the year, but my values will still be there. My values will guide me through the adjustments I make with my goals.

This builds more flexibility and connection with yourself vs an external thing you are trying to achieve. Goals are great and I’m excited to step more into mine, but at the end of the day, regardless of accomplishing them or not, I will still be embodying my values.

Questions for you to lean into this:

💗who do you DESIRE to BE while you work towards your goals? Who is this version of you?

🎉How does this version of you handle setbacks or obstacles with your goals?

💪how do you WANT to show up in these moments?

Really sit with this and write out that version of you.

Heck, a fun bonus way to do this is record a voice memo to yourself of you answering these questions about this version of you. That future you. Listen to it often and how you get to BE HER, NOW. 🥳

What are some of your goals you’ve set for 2023? Drop them below!👇

The biggest lesson I had from 2022 was that…

In tiny ways and in bigger ways that I didn’t realize was that I sabotaged myself with one massive story…

“It’s just too hard/much/complicated/overwhelming”

This story was very sneaky at times… hiding under little simple excuses for cleaning the dishes or working out or waking up early or trying to turn off the TV and get ready for bed.

It kept tying back to “I’m just so lazy”

What I realized in this process was that my survival coping mechanism wasn’t fight or flight… but it was FREEZE.

I’d shut down.
I wouldn’t respond to things.
I just checked out of situations.

When you realize that this is the way you cope, you can begin to heal your nervous system one little step at a time. I thought before that my coping was to avoid and run away (flight), but in reality, it was freezing.

Now this makes a lot more sense to me because of the amount of resistance I had to physically MOVING my body and getting up and taking action sometimes. The movement felt paralyzing… aka I felt frozen. Stuck in the moment.

As I see these patterns, I can learn so much from them.

I can expand my awareness. Connect with this part of me that feels resistance, blocked, stuck, and frozen. I can hold that version of me with a lot more love rather than shame or words of ‘lazy’/‘unproductive’/‘suck at getting my s**t together’…

2022 was a big year of ups and down navigating what it meant to BE with myself… to step into this next level version of me… it felt scary a lot of the times and I would revert back to my old self (Saying it was ‘too hard’).

This is a journey and learning ways to navigate it is life long. I am really proud of the ways I have stepped up, the setbacks I have learned from, and the ways I have built a strong foundation for where I desire to grow.

I’ll share more on this in the coming week🙏

What have you learned from 2022?

Ps: want to receive support for the entire YEAR with a community, resources and powerful guidance along the way? The Redefined Collective is open for enrolment 💗

Remember saying, “psh no I’d never meditate/journal”… and here you are doing just that!😅

Maybe you said this about getting up early and working out.

Maybe it was applying for that big job you didn’t feel qualified for and got it.

Maybe it was trying a brand new sport or activity and meeting an amazing new community of friends.

Maybe it was trying fake/gel nails and loving it. (I’m guilty of this one recentwo key factors come up:

(1) I had a specific mindset, experience or perspective shift that hit differently. That shifted my way of thinking and being. That made me DESIRE that thing.

(2) the tiny actions and nudges I followed towards these things. I researched, I learned, and I became aware of what actions I needed to take to go do the thing. And then I did it.

🧠Mindset shift + 🏃‍♀️taking action = 🥳 effort put into a new way of being and operating which moves me towards those desires. Aka Making it happen!

You get to change your mind.
You get to choose to do things differently if you desire it.

If there are things on your heart, they are there for a reason 💗Explore them. Feel into them. See where they take you. It may surprise you in the beautiful path it can go… that you “never” thought possible!

You owe it to yourself to EXPERIMENT in this one life that you have. Dive in. Take that leap to see what it’s like.

Trying things out is how we as humans know what we love and what we don’t and where we want to go and where we don’t.

You won’t know until you try 😘

So just because you have this thought of “oh I’d never do that”, I’d pause and challenge it.

Is it something you actually WANT to try? Are you worried about what others will think IF you try it?

Give yourself the permission to test your own perception and explore new things.. regardless of what others think👏

🔥PS: join The Redefined Collective for year long mentorship and resources to learn all the How-Tos for discovering your desires & doing the dang thing!

And what this looks like now?!👇🔥😘

I’m able to see things differently. I am open and willing TO see things differently and shift my perspective regularly.

I still have resistance and avoidance, but it does not consume me. It happens. Simple as that. And then I make moves.

The messy work is required to expand and grow. I choose to step into the messy unknown to build my resilience and awareness for what CAN be possible for me. Stretching myself out of my comfort zone has elevated my awareness and beliefs about myself in the most beautiful way.

I have deep rooted perfectionism that is still being uprooted and rewritten. It’s a daily practice that has evolved over time. Perfection is an illusion and I am not here to paint a fake image. I’m here for the real and raw. I no longer choose to play by the rules.

My thoughts are literally the catalyst to how I BE in this world. I am always learning how to navigate them. I choose to learn it. I choose to sit with the discomfort. I lean on my tools and supports.

I take the time to get to know myself on a deeper level so that I can SHOW UP as the most authentic version of me.

She is fierce, no f***s given, takes risks, says yes to herself, pushes her comfort zone, and MOVES towards her desires, even if scared. 💗

Where do you desire to be in 6 months from now? 1 year from now? Who is that version of you? How does she navigate her day to day?

You get to BE her now… so that you can become her then.🔥

What massive shifts have you had in your healing journey?

Ps. My year-long mentorship offer is open for enrolment. We start in January within The Redefined Collective. If you are ready to drop the self sabotage and step into your POWER, then there’s a spot with your name on it😘

🤯This technique is a game changer👇

We can get so easily wrapped up in the back and forth conversations in our head between what is "right"/"wrong" or "good"/"bad", but in reality, we have to take ourselves OUT of the equation and becoming an observer, like in the Chessboard Metaphor.

What we do is never about right/wrong/good/bad, but how we CHOOSE to respond from the bigger picture.

Noticing what the ego says. Observing it for what it is, separate from YOU.

It is OK to have these thoughts. That awareness of knowing you will never be able to get rid of those negative thoughts is soo key. They will always be there. We are human beings meant to experience ALL parts of ourselves. But it’s how we choose to place these thoughts into our identity of who we are.

Releasing the need to place meaning towards these negative thoughts and actively choose to see things differently. Observing it without s**tting on yourself in the process 🙏 and giving yourself the space to be open and curious to where you DESIRE to go, what you desire to believe, and move in that direction.

So allow yourself to release the need to control or battle them and let them be as they are. Accept their presence. Acknowledge that they are there as a teacher/guide. This is not to be seen as a bad thing, but something to learn and grow from.

👻What are you currently battling??

Pause and say to yourself: “it is safe to have these thoughts. It is safe to acknowledge them and let them move on in their own timing.”

Breathe.

You’ve got this🔥

You are not your thoughts and you CAN navigate them confidently where they no longer derail your day.

👉And if you desire deeper support on HOW to navigate them, I’ve got a new beautiful community offer with powerful tools AND… the best part… 12 months of mentorship!🥰🔥🎉

🔗Check the link in bio for details!✨

{Swipe👉} My response??? EVERYTHING! 😅🙈👇

Literally Everything LOL.

Creating content.
Sharing in stories.
Selling my offers.
Speaking vulnerably.

In this moment, I realized that I was creating SO many stories about WHY these things were ‘so hard’ for me.

Literally all the things I mentioned on slide 3 were my stories.

So in this moment, I simply DECIDED to make a new choice. To not give in to this feeling of ‘hard’ & to support a new thought and move towards what my desires and values are. To allow space for what I would LIKE to tap into in this moment instead. Knowing that I can CHOOSE to step into my desires OVER my fears. We all get that choice.

And as always around here, take the TINY steps to make it feel 'less' hard. To focus on one tiny thing that can move the needle forward in that moment. That’s what I did. And hello new post that actually ended up being EASIER than I thought. Ain’t that wild? We get so caught up in our heads about how hard it “COULD” be when we really don’t know until we simply ACT. Do the tiny thing. Dance. Get messy. See what happens. Now there’s new evidence to support my higher self that I CAN do hard things.

So if you are here feeling as though something is “hard”… you get to choose how you PERCEIVE it.

Hard can be rewarding…
Hard can be empowering…
Hard can be a positive thing…
Hard can be an opportunity to grow…

…if you choose to perceive it that way.

You CAN do hard things… it’s your mindset about it that creates the internal change to navigate the external factors and actions you take.

👆Yes, Read that again👀

🔥So What is really holding you back… is it the thing itself OR your mindset ABOUT the hard thing?

🎉PS: my community & long term mentorship, The Redefined Collective, walks you through HOW to navigate all this with powerful tools & guidance. Join now at PRESALE!🤩

Adding THIS 👆is a game changer because…👇

When you start something new, you typically don’t have much evidence for it just yet.

So you’re on square one and you feel yourself eager to get started with the new habit, let’s say working out, and you do it for a few days and then it quickly gets forgotten. Life got busy, had no time, too tired, not enough energy, and the list goes on.

Our minds love to run the show. So how to BUILD this brand new habit and take action for it to feel more like second nature?

Well (1) that “second nature” feeling takes time & won’t happen right out the gate.

And (2) you can utilize supports AROUND you to help build NEW evidence of this habit being attainable!

Sometimes our old habits feel a LOT more comfortable and easy and safe. I mean heck, they feel like that most of the time let’s be real.

But to help navigate this new territory of: new action steps to set up the habit, new ways of operating in your day, new shifts in mindset… it can feel like a lot on your brain to manage.

Sooooo why not reduce the cognitive load on your brain!

• tell a friend “hey I started working out again and I’m so excited! I plan to do it every Monday, so I’m just sharing as a reminder for myself & to chat with someone about it!”

• ask a friend to join, “I’m doing a virtual workout class each week, want to join & keep each other accountable”

• join a group, “I saw that your FB group loves to go hiking in my area & thought to join you all next time”

*Bonus tip: join Bumble BFF to swipe right on friends/groups to meet up with that have similar interests! It’s so fun- highly recommend!

• share progress with partner, “hey boo, just wanted to share my win/struggle today with my workout. Would love a pep talk or reminder!”

• time & location: “I’m going to workout at 8am in my condo gym” or “after work at 5pm, I’ll workout in the basement”

Adding accountability helps build a stronger connection to the new habit when your old ways want to take over & you’ve got some extra backup!

🤸‍♀️And if you’re like damn I would love more accountability in my life, I have a brand new community offer which also includes 12 MONTHS of mentorship. Link in bio🤩

Identify it— do not identify WITH it👇

How often do you actually catch your thoughts? Take notice of them? Realize what you are saying to yourself?

A big component of long lasting behaviour change started with the private events happening in your brain. That IS behaviour. We just don’t see it and because it isn’t “seen”, we tend to easily dismiss it or attach it to our identity and leave it at that. “This is just who I am”— then continue to do the same old behaviours you no longer desire to do.

Listen, if you want change, you gotta start with the one place that everything starts: your mind.

That brain of yours will create stories based off your surroundings, past experiences, and so on. Our brains job isn’t to make you happy and fulfilled, it’s job is to keep you SAFE. So that means comfort, certainty, familiarity. Which are all things that don’t fully allow us to GROW or EXPAND beyond what we’ve always done.

What we don’t know, we can’t change.

What we don’t bring awareness to, we can’t know HOW to navigate our next steps.

Our brains are meaning-making machines. They seek to find evidence to solve problems. So if we aren’t aware of our thoughts we say to ourselves, we believe them, and thus gives the brain the ammo to create more stories surrounding these ideas, beliefs, identities you are attaching to.

Thoughts you believe lead to:
Feelings, which then dictate:
Actions, which provide:
Results

Defusion is one of the biggest components of navigating thought management and growth.

Defusion addresses the thoughts head on before they alter your feelings & dictate the physical actions you take.

Defusion is the starting point. To build a relationship with your thoughts in a compassionate & creative way. To see the thoughts simply as that, a bunch of words and sentences… and nothing more. They come & go. There is no getting rid of them, but rather, create space for them to simply BE & detach the content of the thought from who you ARE… to reconnect with your values & who you CHOOSE to be in these moments.

Everything is a choice & you have the power to choose differently over and over again whenever these thoughts pop up. They do not define you.💗🙏

I used to workout for all the wrong reasons…👇

Step 1: I didn’t actually HAVE a big why or purpose other than the fact that “everyone was doing it”. I wanted to fit in and look the part. Have the abs.

Now? Working out is important to me because I want to be able to have more energy in my day, play with little ones in my life, and have big adventures with Ian.

Step 2: psh this one was not even on my radar back then. “How the heck do I embody a value?” - would have been my response🤪

Now? I value being healthy, confident, and strong. When I work out and it feels hard, I tap into these values as the reminder of where I am Heading! Long term thinking😉

Step 3: I definitely used to think that I should just GO DO IT and have all the willpower and discipline, which in itself made me avoid working out all together. I never thought that my environment would be make a difference.

Now? I know that I will have resistance on some (ok most) days, so I’ve set up my condo to support ME rather than overwhelming me with all the ways I can avoid it. So I have YouTube workout playlist set up, weights put out, water bottle prepped, shoes & clothes at my bed.

Step 4: I used to believe that I needed to do a big ass 45min workout and sweat like mad to make it worth it. Yea then it just never happened lol.

Now? I choose a range of options: 10-20min of cardio, dance, abs, hiit, or treadmill. And if I want to do more, cool! Keep it simple.

Step 5: ha, I always guesstimated when I last worked out. Never thought I needed to track it & could just remember it all. Psh lies.

Now? I use my own tracker and reflect each week on how often I did it & what obstacles arose to plan for next time👌

📈What habit are you currently building?? Share it below!🎉