Today Will Be

My phone rang at 3:55am on the morning of Saturday, February 10th.
 
It was my girlfriend, Claudia. She was in the birthing ward of the local hospital.
 
I rushed to the hospital. It was dark and slightly eerie. The hospital corridors were empty with a handful of empty beds lined up against the wall. I was scared.
 
The midwife appeared out of nowhere and directed me to a waiting area. My anxiety was going through the roof.
 
I was soon escorted into the operating theatre. It was full of doctors, nurses and other medical staff ready to get to work. The tension was unmistakeable. I was worried for the health of our baby, and for Claudia.
 
My mind was playing out various scenarios. I was terrified that the beautiful creature we had nurtured for the past nine months wouldn’t survive the traumatic transition into this world.
 
Those thoughts were soon interrupted as smiles began to break across the faces in the room. The tension lifted slightly. I still felt nervous.
 
It felt like an age before I heard the murmur of a baby. And then, we were presented with a tiny, but perfect work of art.
 
The entire world seemed to stop for a few moments. There were too many emotions to process… happiness, relief, worry, and pure joy.

 
Our beautiful daughter – Maya Rose – was born at 5:13am on 10/02/24. She was born on the lunar New Year, during the year of the dragon. She weighed 3265 grams, and measured 52cm. She is perfect in every way imaginable.

 
Life has been crazy, magical and overwhelming these past few weeks. It’s difficult to find a moment to reflect and process our new reality.
 
Any new parent can no doubt relate to the uncertainty I experience for my ability to care for and nature this beautiful life. I hear it’s normal.
 
The best parenting advice I have received… ‘You can’t get it right.’
 
I’ve attached a few pics as a proud father.
 
I’ve also a written a heartfelt letter to my daughter about the father I aspire to be. Hopefully she can read it one day.
 
Hopefully I am courageous enough to live up to my words.

My grandmother was born in 1921.
 
She was born in Ireland to a single mother, in the town of Tullow, County Carlow.
 
At that time, conceiving a child out of wedlock was considered a major sin in Ireland. It was labelled an ‘illegitimate’ pregnancy.
 
Mothers of ‘illegitimate’ children faced the prospect of two years in an institution. Their children were four times more likely to die as their ‘legitimate’ counterparts. That’s a high price to pay for being single.
 
My great grandmother had no intention of succumbing to the heartless policies administered by the Irish authorities of that time. Instead, she packed her bags and brought her young daughter on the ‘boat to England’.
 
Together, they created a home in Manchester, survived the WWII blitz in a cupboard under the stairs, and jointly raised my father and my uncle.
 
Unfortunately my great grandmother passed away a year before I was born. Memories shared by my dad and his friends paint a picture of lady who was plucky, upbeat, and optimistic. We might never have met, but I feel a deep connection.
 
My grandmother and great grandmother needed to endure so much more than I ever have. They had to flee persecution, tolerate inhumane policies, battle poverty, survive a major global conflict, and raise two children.
 
They did all this in a male dominated society without receiving a morsel of help from any man. They were bold, courageous, and daring ladies.
 
I’m grateful to them for creating a lineage I feel proud to follow. I’m equally thankful it is no longer deemed acceptable to persecute single mothers who make daring life choices.
 
Thanks to the heroic journey taken by my resilient female ancestors, I recently added my name to the Irish Foreign Births Register. I am officially a dual citizen of the UK and Eire, and a Swiss resident.
 
 
There is always a way to get what you desire.
 
Nobody has the ability to deny you of your dreams. It was true of my great grandmother over 100 years ago. It’s true for me today.
 
It’s true for you.
 
You can be a victim of your circumstances or a creator of your destiny.

(The final pic is the last time I saw my nan in 2011. She asked to drink a Guinness)

There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart’s desire. The other is to get it.
 
George Bernard Shaw wrote that. Sounds paradoxical.
 
How is fulfilling my heart’s desire a tragedy you might ask.
 
There are many reasons…
 
🐒 Because success often feels lonely and empty.
🐒  Because you worry what others will think of you.
🐒  Because when you exceed your expectations you self-sabotage.
🐒  Because fear of success means you play small.
🐒  Because you believe you’re really an imposter.

I’ve experienced all of the above and many others.

I went through many of them when I spent an entire day filming with my friend Rachael last Friday.

We’re teaching modern leaders how to play a big game and create massive impact. It feels edgy.

Imposter syndrome is not a bug. It’s a feature.

If you don’t feel like an imposter every single morning, then you’re not playing a big enough game.

What game are you playing in 2024?

Want to play a big game with an elite community? Link in bio.

This week marks a painful anniversary for me.

12-months ago, I fractured my leg playing football. A freak accident caused my entire world to change in an instant.

A metal plate with 8 screws was used to reconstruct my tibia bone. For three months I needed crutches to help me walk, and a diet of narcotics just to get through the day.

Basic tasks, like preparing meals or taking a shower, required assistance. I felt totally useless.

Thankfully, I had amazing supportive people in my life.

Even with that support, life was a struggle for me. When our ability to focus and be productive is taken away, we think less of ourselves.

The best piece of business and life advice I’ve ever been given is ‘Slow Down to Speed Up’.

In this instance, slowing down was involuntarily. It was forced upon me by a physical limitation.

Somewhere in the early days of my struggle with the injury, I gave myself permission to allow the process to play out. I let go of any need to get back to the life I knew.

Acceptance brings liberation. And the liberation I felt allowed me to find enjoyment in the journey.

12-months later my recovery is ongoing. I still don’t have full range of motion in my left leg, but my fitness is improving every day. I know I’ll soon be back to where I want to be.

Over the last 12-months I have experienced some of the most extreme emotions of my life.

I’ve used the time to create and reassess. I better understand myself, and the improvements I need to make. Exciting new programs and events are launching soon.

Life happens to all of us. My slowing down was enforced upon me.

I highly recommend that everyone pause for a second and take an inventory of your performance. Have a look at the Elite Performance Assessment linked in my bio.

Life happens. How can you better embrace the moment you’re in, and not the moment you wish you were in?

Knowledge will only get you so far.

When the chance came my way to visit the Amazon, and to live alongside indigenous people, I wasn’t going to let it pass.

Truthfully, I was nervous, unsure and a little bit afraid. There was no shortage of excuses I could have leaned upon to cancel the trip.

It was way outside my comfort zone. I knew very little about where I would be staying, what I would spend my time doing, or whether I would enjoy it.

But my intuition and curiosity led me there. It was time to get uncomfortable, face my fears, and trust that everything would work out.

If I try to paint a picture that everything was blissfully magic from beginning to end, I’d be filtering the truth. Things are rarely as idyllic as they are presented.

The room I stayed in was basic by any Western standard. There was a leak in the roof, giant ants for company, as well as the occasional cockroach. It was hot, wet, and muddy most days. The food was basic. The power would frequently go out, and when the sun goes down you are submersed into total darkness.

It took days before I felt I had truly “arrived” if I ever fully did. Communication was a constant struggle.

But as I leaned into my discomfort, some of the most profound and magical experiences unfolded.

They are the kind of experiences you need to seek, but they also find you. You cannot plan for them. I wouldn’t know how to.

One one evening I was transported by boat to a local indigenous tribe for an Ayahuasca ceremony. They had a small settlement on the banks of the Rio Negro which is only reachable by boat. Words cannot do justice to the power, magic, and insight I experienced throughout that night.

I witnessed the “Meetings of the Waters” where the warm Rio Negro meets the sandy-coloured Solimoes to form the Amazon.

Another day I swam in the Rio Negro with wild pink dolphins. They are fascinating mammals. Each dolphin innately knew to shimmy their noses and bodies against my injured knee.

The Amazon teaches you to cultivate intuitive wisdom. It reminds you of our interconnectedness to all things. The darkness and the struggle that exist in the human experience can be overwhelming. When we get still and uncomfortable, human compassion and kindness rise-up.

Plumbing the depths of your soul is an unparalleled journey. It’s one I highly recommend.

Your friends and network are secretly happy when they see you struggle.

I received an email from a really powerful, successful lady who is considering hiring a coach.

She thanked me for some of the challenges I had suggested she take on and expressed that she felt rejuvenated.

And then she explained that she has taken the decision not to engage with a coach, and instead rely upon her existing support networks.

It’s great that she has a supportive network. But there’s a trap to her thinking…

The people who you think are helping you, don’t want to see you fly.

Friends are great for having fun with, but they are terrified to tell you what you most need to hear.

Your success brings out the fear, timidity, jealousy and regret that fogs their vision.

Most of your friends are barely clinging on to the rails in their own lives, let alone qualified to guide you to success.

If you’re serious about making your life extraordinary, surround yourself with powerful people who see through your excuses, and are not trying to be your friend.

What are your big rocks?

There’s a famous story about a University Professor who wanted to make a point about how we make the most of our time.

Many of you will be familiar with it. Here is a summary just in case - https://lnkd.in/ezK9WFfx.

Despite most people understanding and agreeing with the premise of this lesson, very few people put it into practice. I often hear people tell me…. “I’ll do it once I’ve achieved…. # # #.”

We all have busy lives. We all have lots of people who rely on us. And we’re all masters at creating excuses to fill our lives with insignificant events.

There’s only one time to create your priorities in life….

NOW

Create your life first. Take control. Everything else will fall into place around what you desire most. Nothing will break.

My girlfriend and I made a commitment to each other to ensure our big rocks are prioritised for 2023. We purchased a book which we use to plan our important trips as well as time with family. We do this before anything else can take control.

After spending some time with family over Christmas, we decided to begin the year with a trip to Oman. We can spend some uninterrupted time together and recharge for the year ahead. It was important for both of us.

As well as recharging, we’ve been blessed to see a beautiful a fascinating country with a truly unique culture. Seeing the world is something we both love to do.

What are your big rocks? Have you got your priorities right?

Write your Principles in Pen.

Sketch your Plans in Pencil.

Smile when Life Happens.

Two weeks ago, I broke my leg in a freak footballing accident.

I wrote about how everything in my life had changed in an instance.

We all intellectually know we’re accepting inherent risks as we do things - like playing football with a few friends. Life is more enjoyable when we don’t stop to think about bad things happening to us.

But it happens. It has happened to me. Not for the first time.

“It” might be an injury or illness. Or “It” could be the ending of a relationship. Or walking away from a job or career. Losing a loved one.

Humans don’t deal particularly well with the unexpected. We take the plans we make very seriously, and we expect they will play out as we intended.

Life happens. We feel jolted. Almost as if we’re not who we thought we were, or the world we live in is no longer what we believed it to be. Our unfounded perception of certainty vanishes.

And certainty for humanity is a big deal.

Humans have been conditioned to be terrified of change. Rightly or wrongly, we equate stability to a feeling of safety.

It runs deep into the fibre of our soul. The moment we are faced with the collapse of a known reality, our primal instinct is to panic.

We deny it. We fight it. We kick and scream. We play the role of victim incredibly convincingly.

At some point, for some of us, we accept our new fate. It’s a brave thing to do. But it’s essential if we are to transition away from suffering.

When we accept reality, we’re able to reconnect with our unique creative capacity. We see that things happen for a reason. We see ourselves not as circumstantial misfortunes, but as co-creators of our imperfect lives.

Whatever life throws at you. Whatever terrible circumstance you might be experiencing. Embrace the struggle. Accept the change in course.

You are so much more adaptable than you think you are. And remember, you can do hard.

Life can change in an instant.

All the plans that are made. All the intentions we create. Literally, everything can be taken out of our control.

I was playing football a week ago and, after a tackle, knew immediately that something was massively wrong. Lying on the floor my entire nervous system went into shock.

A few hours later it was confirmed by the hospital that I had fractured my left knee. It requires surgery to repair the fracture.

The surgery has yet to happen. It will take place in a couple of days hopefully.

As you can imagine, I’m reliant on a cocktail of heavy-duty narcotics. Moving is a challenge. There are very few things I can do without assistance.

For someone who lives alone and thrives on independence, I am forced to adjust. Thankfully I have an amazing girlfriend, family & friends who have rallied around to help me.

Once the surgery is done, the recovery will take time. I am mentally preparing myself for a few months on crutches and contemplating the journey ahead.

The most overwhelming emotion has been frustration. At times I manage it well. There are occasions when I don’t.

My injury has served as a timely reminder that all our plans are nothing more than placeholders. Reality unfolds in its own way. Our challenge is to adjust.

John Lennon once wrote, “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.”

It sounds idealistic and profound. Our lives are more enjoyable when we become less attached to a specific outcome, or a certain route to get there. The joy is in the journey and the unfolding.

A good friend and mentor is often suggesting that I, “slowdown in order to speed up.” Now I have little choice.

Hidden within the inconvenience and the frustration is a gift. Maybe not as I intended, life is happening.

Most furry mammals pant to regulate their body temperature.

Humans are the only mammal that rely on secreting water onto the surface of the skin to stay cool. We call it sweating.

Humans didn’t always have this ability. Something happened over the course of evolution that altered how we as a species thermoregulate that allowed for our transformation.

One possibility is that it enables us to explore a niche free of predators, according to Yana Yamberov (Professor at the Perelman School of Medicine). By cooling off the way we do, we can go out during the hottest part of the day when most predators are avoiding the heat.

Another theory is that about 2 million years ago humans started to evolve into good endurance runners. This allowed for persistent hunting and gathering as a means of a survival.

Sweating is a very human thing. You might call it a superpower.

Humans have a unique ability to transform to meet the challenge of whatever our environmental conditions demand.

Human Transformation is a conversation that excites me more than any other.

Where do you want to get to? Why aren’t you there yet?

I had an incredibly powerful conversation with the fabulous Deepa Thomas-Sutcliffe, MBA a few weeks ago. We spoke about many powerful subjects, including the need for authentic leadership in today’s world, and how we can create more purpose driven leaders.

Listen to the episode on https://lnkd.in/edpnaBqn
Listen to the episode on https://apple.co/3oDCdI7