Dennis & Lottes Cykler

We are currently experiencing a drone attack in the bike shop. Things are slightly delayed due to every danish politician being busy taking "selfies where you look worried", all while investing billions in defence, and then not knowing what to do when critical infrastructure like bike shops or airports get attacked, by something that can be taking down with a stick being thrown.

Until the city is physically on fire, we will however keep servicing your bike, even though Dennis has a headache from the complete ineptitude of our leadership. He's also angry because he REALLY likes drones, and now they're being outlawed. Fu***ng. Idiots.

Some absolute fu***ng monster has stolen the seat for our cargo-bike. Obviously Dennis is beyond pi**ed, especially because insurance doesn't cover anything because of a "DeDucTIblE". Mega cringe.

When we find the thief- and we swear to God we will find him- he won't be able to sit down anywhere, let alone in that seat.

Until that happens we're reduced to fixing bikes.

Dennis is drinking Polish Redbull, and if you know anything about Poles, you know that their quality control is second only to every developed nation on earth, as well as most of Subsaharan Africa. Either a LOT of bikes will be fixed today, or Dennis will die.

Let's all hope.

Dennis' beautiful little bundle brought her pet bearded dragon to work, and made him a jacket ♥️

We're not rasing bi***es (gender neutral bi***es) at this bike shop, so this unseasonably hot weather's water fight is with the high pressure hose. Deathmatch until it's 1v1, winner takes all.

Today Dennis got a visit from the police, because apparently it's "illegal" to use flashing blue lights on a bike for advertising purposes, and fixing bikes is not an "emergency".

They were also joined by Kanal 5/HBO's Poltijagt, so expect to see Dennis' stupid face on TV soon. This marks the 3rd time in 3 years Dennis is in the news, and frankly it's tiring.

Dennis is working late on Italian bikes. They're like Italian women, that require a gentle, soft touch. Luckily for them, he's equipped with delicate, dainty women like fingers, to stirr them just right.

They're basically gonna be sq**rting when he's done with them, if you wanna get technical.

**rt **rtisoil

Erik decided the projectile vomit all over, and Dennis is running this ship solo. All is chaos.

ATTENTION:

With the recent influx of American ex-pats in our shop, we kindly ask that you:

1) Wash your bike before bringing it to us.
2) Remove you H&K USP Compact 9MM w/o optional Picatinny rail, as well as your California Concealed Handgun Permit from your bike.

Thank you very much.

We have a customer and friend of the house from the Czech Republic. He was waiting for parts to arrive for his fixie-build, and took the time to create this absolutely banger of a masterpiece.

If you know, you're our kind of person.

In an effort to be more "green", we've stopped using our hydraulic cardboard compressor in our basement.

Meet our cardboard crocodile. We call him "Københavns Kommune", because he absolutely destroys anything, and sh*ts on everything.

This is the first of many steps to better ourselves. We hope you appreciate our work.

WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT REDACTED.

Erik has infected Dennis with his horrible illness, and he has had his head in the toilet for the past 16 hours.

It seems like a 24 hour thing, so tomorrow, Friday, we'll be back at full power.

If you're feeling masochistic, the picture Erik provided Dennis with can be shared via Telegram.