ActionSage

"Be obsessed" is one of the most popular pieces of advice on social media these days. Coaches, influencers, modern gurus, entrepreneurs, and all sorts of self-appointed experts keep telling us to be obsessed with our goals, obsessed with success, obsessed with becoming the best version of ourselves.

And yet, when psychologists talk about obsession, they don't describe it as a superpower. They describe it as something that can take over our thoughts, distort our judgment, and make our lives smaller rather than bigger.

So I started wondering whether obsession is really the problem, or whether we have simply become very bad at telling the difference between obsession and commitment.

Clearly, commitment and obsession are not the same thing, but at first glance they look almost identical.

Both committed and obsessed runners wake up before sunrise when everyone else is sleeping. Both train consistently. Both think about running more often than non-runners consider normal. Both spend ridiculous amounts of money on shoes. Both willingly run distances that most people would only cover if their car broke down.

From the outside, they can be impossible to tell apart. The difference is happening on the inside.

Commitment is a conscious choice, obsession is a psychological need, and the difference only becomes visible when life gets in the way.

A committed runner misses a workout because their child needs them, because they are injured, or because their body is asking for recovery. They may not like it, but they accept it.

An obsessed runner experiences the same situation very differently. Missing one workout feels almost like a personal failure. Rest creates anxiety. Injury creates panic. Running has quietly stopped being something they do and started becoming who they are.

The committed runner says "I run because it improves my life", the obsessed runner says "I need to run because running is who I am." That difference may seem small, but it matters more than most people realize.

If you think about it, relationships are a good way to explain the difference between commitment and obsession.

Most of us know the difference between loving someone and being obsessed with them, I guess.

A healthy relationship adds something valuable to your life. You care deeply about the other person, but you don't disappear inside the relationship. You still have your own interests, your own friends, your own identity.

An obsessive relationship is different. Everything starts revolving around that one person. Your mood depends on them. Your decisions depend on them. Your sense of self depends on them. The relationship no longer supports your life. Your life starts supporting the relationship.

Running can follow exactly the same pattern:

A) The Committed Runner
The committed runner trains consistently, cares about improvement, and sets goals and works hard toward them.

But they understand something important: running is part of their life, not the whole of it. If they get injured, they are disappointed, but they adapt. If family needs them, they adjust their schedule. If work becomes demanding for a period, they accept that training may temporarily take a back seat.

They enjoy the process, but their self-worth does not depend on the next race result, and their life does not serve running — running serves their life.

For the committed runner, running is just one of the things that makes life richer.

B) The Obsessed Runner
The obsessed runner often starts with good intentions: they discover running and fall in love with it. Then slowly, almost without noticing, running becomes more than an activity — it becomes an identity.

Missing a workout causes guilt. Rest days feel uncomfortable. Injuries create panic. Conversations constantly return to running. Family events become obstacles to training. Race results determine mood.

Running no longer provides freedom — it starts demanding loyalty. And life gradually becomes something that exists to support running.

Ironically, the person who began running to improve their life may end up making their life revolve around running.

The line between commitment and obsession is easy to cross because it usually happens slowly.

There is one interesting side of running obsession: the Abbott World Marathon Majors.

These races are wonderful events. They inspire people, create unforgettable memories, and motivate thousands to stay active. There is nothing wrong with wanting to run them (I should know. I have my own dreams involving a Six Star Medal).

But let's be honest for a moment.

A marathon is still 42.2 kilometers. The distance is exactly the same whether you run it in Boston, Berlin, Chicago, New York, Sydney, London, Tokyo, or around your local lake while being attacked by mosquitoes and wondering why you signed up for this hobby in the first place.

Yet many runners are willing to spend enormous amounts of money on flights, hotels, merchandise, medals, jackets, and branded memorabilia.

Why? Because humans don't just buy experiences. We buy meaning.

Sometimes that meaning is worth every cent. Sometimes we should pause and ask whether we are collecting meaningful experiences or collecting symbols.

Because this distinction matters. One creates memories. The other creates consumption.


And here comes my coaching advice if you want to make sure your running adventure is not turning into an obsession.

Every now and then, ask yourself these questions:

- If I couldn't run for three months, who would I be?
- Can I take a rest day without guilt?
- Do the people closest to me benefit from my running, or suffer because of it?
- Does running make my life bigger or smaller?
- Am I pursuing health, or am I chasing approval?
- Would I still run if nobody could see my race photos, medals, Strava posts, or marathon jackets?

The answers may reveal more than your training log ever will.

Running is one of the best tools I know for building a great life. But the goal is not to become obsessed with running. The goal is not even to become a runner.

The goal is to become a healthy, capable, fulfilled human being who happens to run.

Running may be a great tool to build your future, but it is still a tool. A hammer is a useful and trustworthy building tool as well. You just don't want to become a hammer collector who forgets to build the house.

Running should support your life, not replace it.

Run hard, dream big, sign up for races that excite you. Chase personal bests. Chase marathon stars if that's your thing. Collect memories from places you'll still be talking about twenty years from now.

Just remember why you started.

Most of us didn't start running because we wanted to become runners. We started because we wanted to become healthier, stronger, happier, more capable versions of ourselves.

Running should help us build that life. It should never become a substitute for living it.

Trust me, I am not writing this from a position of complete innocence. 😅

Some people celebrate Easter today, some don't. But all of us experience moments in life when we are asked to rise.

There comes a moment when something inside quietly says: enough. Enough hiding, enough shrinking.

These moments are not written in the calendar, there are no traditions or holidays for them. But when they come, you know — because something inside you is ready to rise.

Not the polished version of you. Not the perfect, filtered, “I-have-everything-figured-out” version.

The real you. The one who has been in the dark. The one who has doubted — or been doubted. The one who has fallen a thousand times… and still chose to stand up again.

Rising is not escaping the darkness. It is walking right through it and still choosing the light.

So today I simply want to say this:

Happy Rising!

You have the courage to begin again. And if today feels like one of those moments — honor it, trust it, go all in.

Rise in the way that feels true to you, so the love that you are and the light you choose to carry can move through you and shine into the world!

Throughout most of my life I didn’t like endings.

It didn’t matter if it was the end of summer, the end of a friendship, the end of a TV show, the last page of a good book, the death of someone loved, the end of the pack of my favorite biscuits, the last sip of a really nice cup of coffee — or any other kind of ending.

Only recently did I realize that I’m entering a time of life where endings will probably be more frequent than beginnings.

At first, this realization brings sadness, loneliness, emptiness, and a sense of lost meaning.

But after spending enough time with these feelings, I began to see something with a clarity I had never known before: endings are needed. They are necessary for us to understand the value of everything in life.

It’s a bit like the finish of a marathon.

You can’t truly understand what it means to prepare for months, run thousands of kilometers, endure discomfort and pain, and show up day after day no matter what —
only to give everything you have on that final day, on those last 42.2 km… and finally cross the finish line.

And then all the feelings arrive at once: euphoria, happiness, joy, relief. And yes — sadness too.

Because you realize the journey is over. It was what it was, and now you have to move on.

You say goodbye to the version of yourself that existed before that finish line. Because now you are someone else.

You are a person who not only knows you are capable of doing hard things — you also know how to do them again and again. And that inner knowing will serve you in many other situations in life later on.

Because that’s the thing about endings: whatever ended, it wasn’t you. You're still here.

The sadness, grief, emptiness, pain, and loneliness are temporary. The person you became after each ending is the only constant that carries on with life.

So...

Come what may. You are ready.

Until the last ending.

And deep down, you know everything will be alright even then.

Happy Pi Day — 3.14 💫

Mathematically speaking, π is irrational.
It goes on forever, never repeating, never quite fitting into a neat fraction.

Which makes it the perfect symbol for some days in life.

On days when the best survival strategy is… to be a little irrational.

Today I’m supposed to run 3.14 miles (about 5 km), tidy up the house, make a sensible list and start checking things off like a responsible adult.

That would be the rational approach. But it’s Pi Day. So instead, I baked a basket of cottage-cheese bread and I’m taking the car out for a drive. Driving is my meditation. Especially with good music. (Fleetwood Mac has been on repeat in my life for months now.)

The tasks will still be there later. And sometimes the most rational thing you can do for your sanity… is to allow yourself to be irrational for a while.

Happy Pi Day. May your problems be finite and your joy irrational! 😍👌🎶🌞✨❤️

Today is the 70th day of the year. 295 days left in 2026.

Apparently it is also World Plumbing Day — which means today we celebrate something most people never think about… until it stops working.

Funny how the most essential things in life are usually the least glamorous!

While I was spending years trying to figure out myself and my life, it turns out I was accidentally collecting “infinity stones” along the way:

Discernment.
Pattern recognition.
Hyper-vigilance.
Seeing ten steps ahead.
Learning to be a silent observer.

And one more thing: I definitely don’t think like a normal person.

I’m aware this can freak some people out. Unpredictable people are hard to control — and often indispensable. And history shows something interesting: the indispensable people eventually gain leverage. Because they can solve real problems.

Yes, I’ve come to this strange conclusion lately:

The people who actually know how to build things, fix things, maintain things and grow things are the future millionaires — maybe even billionaires. This might be plumbers, carpenters, electricians… and hopefully gardeners too.

Because when the world gets complicated, the people who can solve real problems become priceless.

Just like plumbing. Invisible when it works.
Absolutely critical when it doesn’t.

The future might belong to people who combine three worlds:

📌Practical skills — building, growing, fixing.
📌Systems thinking — seeing patterns and trends.
📌Ownership — land, companies, infrastructure.

Put those three together and you become very hard to replace.