Silke van Loenen - Ave Munde Therapy

“I drank to drown my sorrows, but the damned things learned how to swim.”
 – Frida Kahlo
 
She wasn’t talking about immigration lawyers. But she could have been.
 
Numbing works. For a while.
A drink at the end of a long day. Food that fills something that isn’t hunger. Losing yourself in a book, endless scrolling, anything – to switch off after hours of carrying other people’s heartbreaking situations.
 
Nobody judges you for it. You’re dealing with asylum cases, deportations, people whose entire lives hang on your work. Of course you need to escape.
 
Until escaping stops working. And you need more of it. And the sorrows don’t drown – they just get better at swimming.
 
Here’s what I’ve learned, both personally, professionally and working with immigration lawyers:
Numbing doesn’t process the weight. It just postpones it. And hits harder when it bounces back.
 
You know all too well that the stories don’t disappear when you close your laptop. They follow you to dinner, to bed, to 3am when you’re lying awake replaying a case you can’t stop thinking about.
 
What actually helps is learning to process what you’re carrying, so it moves through you instead of staying inside of you. It is called naming and taming: verbalising emotions to control your feelings and impulses.
 
Not quickly – there is no quick fix. Not perfectly – like exercising, you need to train this muscle. But enough to make life lighter.
 
The stress of your job will never fully disappear.
But it doesn’t have to take over your whole life either.

Immigration Law │ Immigration Lawyer │ Mental Health At Work │ Burnout Prevention │ Practical Tools

20 years ago, I was absolutely burnt out because I thought it was my role to carry the emotional weight of others and I felt so guilty if I chose ‘me’ first.

The thing that changed everything wasn’t just cutting the cord, selling my place, traveling around the world, switching careers and therapy. It was giving myself permission to be happy and realising I was still a good person, compassionate and caring.

I’m now working on something to help Immigration Lawyers make that same shift – because I know how much easier life would have been with the right guide.

More on that soon.

For now – if you’re in that place right now, know that it’s not about just setting boundaries and managing stress. It’s about understanding that you’re still compassionate and committed when you choose your wellbeing first.

Something about filling your own cup first…

Something I’ve noticed after reading the responses from Immigration Lawyers on my questionnaire for Immigration Lawyers:

They’re not struggling because they didn’t have therapy to manage the emotional weight of client cases.

They’re struggling because despite having had therapy stress of client cases still affects their lives. To name a few:
· insomnia/nightmares
· disconnecting from friends or communities
· less patience with and empathy for kids and partners
· guilt for taking time off to recharge
· lack of focus and productivity at work

And the advice they keep getting – go to therapy and set boundaries – is actually making it harder.

If this hits different, I’d love to hear your experience.

What’s been the hardest part for you?
 
Leave a comment below, send me a DM or share your thoughts in the questionnaire (see 🔗 in bio).

If you are an Immigration Lawyer, who loves their work but feels overwhelmed and close to breaking point, I'd love to know your insights and experiences how you process the emotional weight of client cases.

I'm putting together something specifically for immigration lawyers around managing the emotional load of their work. But before I build it, I want to make sure it's shaped around what you actually need – not what I assume you need.

You'd help me enormously if you could fill in this questionnaire.
Many thanks!

https://forms.gle/CpvN4AEWXGnfcH9e6

Questionnaire for Immigration Lawyers Hey there, Thank you for your time. I hope you're doing well. My name is Silke van Loenen. I'm putting together something specifically for immigration lawyers around managing the emotional load of their work. Would love to pick your brain – no selling, just want your perspective. Your insights and...

Happy Easter 🐣

Wishing you lovely days, filled with love, joy, forgiveness, and delicious chocolate eggs.

Why Resilience Isn’t Optional for Legal Professionals
 
🥴 Chronic stress can lead to fatigue, brain fog, short tempers, physical issues and burnout. It can show up as more sick days, less patience with loved ones, and that constant feeling of being “on edge”.
 
Stress itself isn’t the enemy. In fact, a certain level of pressure can sharpen focus and performance.
 
⚖️ The problem starts when the balance is off. When the demands of work outweigh the abilities we have to recover, reset, and protect our wellbeing, stress doesn’t stay in the office.
🏠 It comes home with you, sits at the dinner table, disrupts relationships and even steals your sleep.
 
🤝 As a coach - who got burnt out in a previous career and needed a long time to recover - my mission nowadays is to help avoid burnout and its far-reaching consequences. I focus on building resilience.

I truly believe you can perform at a high level and live a life that feels connected, healthy, and rewarding.
 
This is where resilience becomes essential.
It’s not a “nice to have,” it’s a must have.
Develop the mental, emotional, and practical tools to meet challenges without sacrificing your health, values, or personal life.
 
🌱 A resilient mind allows you to:

* Respond rather than react under pressure
* Maintain healthier relationships at home and at work
* Recover faster from setbacks and demanding periods
* Reduce illness, exhaustion, and emotional overload
* Build a sustainable career with long-term fulfilment
 
The legal profession is not for the faint-hearted. Long hours, high stakes, demanding clients, and deadlines. All while being expected to stay calm, sharp, and impeccably professional. (No pressure there…)
 
❓ How would your relationships, health, and career benefit if you had better tools to handle pressure?
 
lawyer | solicitor | attorney | paralegal | judge | secretary | legal assistant | legal professionals | mental health | resilience | burnout prevention | well being

Why Slowing Down Can Be the Best Way to Speed Up

In a world that constantly pushes us to go faster, do more, and never rest, it can be hard to believe that slowing down might actually be the key to achieving more.

Sometimes, the best way to speed up is by taking a step back.

When we’re overwhelmed, running on empty, and trying to juggle a million things at once, we end up losing focus, making more mistakes, and feeling burned out. Our productivity, creativity, and energy all suffer in the long run.

Taking a moment to pause, breathe, and recharge allows you to regain clarity, reduce stress, and make decisions with intention and purpose. It helps you avoid a burnout and create the mental space you need to move forward with renewed energy.

This doesn’t mean you’re weak or uncommitted. Quite the opposite: it means you’re wise enough to know that in order to thrive in the long run, you need to care for yourself first.

So, if you’re feeling the pressure, remember: Taking time to slow down might be exactly what you need to speed up.

🌱 Take care of yourself. Recharge. You’ll come back stronger, clearer, and ready to tackle whatever’s ahead.