OH FLOW Coaching

Just a gut feeling 😅

Well that, and the frustration I’ve seen (and been feeling) around being told to “just trust your gut.”

That when you know, you know.

And if it’s not a hell yes, it’s a no.

Because that’s not actually very helpful when relationship anxiety is LOUD.

But truthfully? I also just don’t think it’s enough.

“Trust yourself” is lovely advice. But what happens when you genuinely don’t know which part of yourself to trust?

When your gut says one thing on Monday and something completely different on Tuesday?

When anxiety feels exactly like intuition?

When you have SO much information, advice, self-awareness and noise in your head that you can make a convincing case for literally every possible choice?

This is actually a huge part of why I created Tending the Twinge.

I’m not interested in telling you to “just trust your gut” about your relationship.

I’m interested in helping you get to a place where you can actually hear yourself underneath all the noise.

Anyway… that’s my prediction 👀

What do you think? Are we moving away from “just trust yourself” self-help, or am I completely off?

This is the BIGGEST thing holding you back from certainty…
What you believe certainty itself means.

I was in this cycle for such a long time, and I see it with women I work with every single day:

You want to feel certain in your choice.
So you start looking for evidence that you ARE certain.

→ How you feel when you’re with him.
→ Whether you miss him enough when you’re apart.
→ Whether you feel excited when he talks about the future.
→ Whether there’s something about the relationship you’ve been overlooking.

You keep checking because you believe that eventually, you’ll find enough proof to land on: “Okay. THIS is how I know this relationship is right for me.”

But you never seem to find it.

Because the world around you is not where the proof of “this relationship is the right one for me” lives.

And before you make that mean you need to decide whether you should stay or leave…
I want to invite you to look at something completely different:

What type of certainty have you actually been searching for?

Because if certainty means having enough proof that you’ll never regret your choice…

Never change your mind…
Never discover something you didn’t know…
Never feel doubt again…
You’re asking your relationship to give you something it literally cannot give you.

And THAT is what keeps you searching.

Not necessarily because you haven’t found the right answer yet…
But because the version of certainty you’re trying to reach was never available through more evidence in the first place.

If you want to understand how to step out of this “certainty illusion” cycle and start anchoring into the kind of certainty you actually can have, so you can make a grounded decision about how you want to move forward in your relationship…

That’s exactly what my 60-minute masterclass CERTAIN is for.

Comment CERTAIN and I’ll send you the link. 🤍

Oh, and follow along for belief #3!

“What if I marry him… and regret it later?”

It sounds like you’re afraid of ending up in the wrong marriage.

But when you follow that thread all the way down…
there’s usually something even more painful underneath it.

You imagine yourself five years from now.
Maybe there are kids.
Maybe you’ve built an entire life together.
And something doesn’t feel right anymore.

Then your mind looks backward.

“Were the doubts I have now trying to tell me?”
“What if this feeling was the sign?”
“What if I knew somewhere deep down and chose him anyway?”

What if I wake up one day and realize:
“I should have trusted myself.”

And that is why today’s doubt feels so urgent.

Because it no longer feels like a passing thought.
It feels like something your future self might one day wish you had listened to.

So you inspect it.
Was that hesitation intuition?
Should I feel more excited when he talks about marriage?
Is there something here I’m supposed to notice before it’s “too late”?

And this is where I see it differently.

I don’t think you’re simply afraid of marrying the wrong man.

I think you’re terrified of becoming the woman who couldn’t trust herself enough to know.

The woman who “missed it.”
Who misread herself.
Who should have “known better.”

So you’re trying to make today’s feelings guarantee that future version of you never gets to say:
“You should have known.”

But that is an impossible standard for any feeling to meet.

→ A tight chest can’t predict your marriage.
→ A day of doubt can’t tell you who you’ll be in ten years.
→ And a completely calm, unwavering “yes” today still wouldn’t give you control over every version of tomorrow.

This is why my work doesn’t revolve around getting you to finally prove that he’s “the one.”
We go underneath the need for proof itself.

Because the goal isn’t for you to perfectly predict your future.
It’s to trust yourself enough to choose consciously now and know you’ll continue listening to yourself inside the life you choose.

That’s the work I do with women in my 1:1 space.

If you’re inside a good love and still terrified you

I don’t think people understand how much relationship doubt doesn’t have to do with your partner, but with the pressure…

And wedding planning can bring up A LOT of that pressure.

It feels like a big step to (finally) make the decision, especially after feeling unsure for so long.

And then you make it… and suddenly there’s a wedding to plan. Another big step. More decisions. More pressure around something that already feels really BIG.

So yes, I’m breaking down the three main things we did in our wedding planning (without a planner or coordinator) that have left us feeling about as relaxed as I think one can be just over a month out from our wedding…

I’m not a wedding planning expert and I’m not married yet 😂 but I do know what it’s like to walk through relationship doubt and come out on the other side…

Genuinely excited and so ready to get married.

So if you watched this for the love of planning (like me) but came here for the relationship doubt content, follow along…

Because in the next episode, I’m sharing the 3 most unhinged things I did to get to the point of feeling ready to say “I do.” 🤍

P.s. now i gotta go write my vows!